


The White Knight

by Caroline_fangirl (BillCipherTriangle), PrinceMewstar



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, I promise we have plot and not just fluff, M/M, Season 2 spoilers, Students, SuzaLulu - Freeform, Sweet/Hot, beautiful collab ngl, brat Lelouch whoops, cookie skills, friend drama, grieving Suzaku, is this true love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23582308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillCipherTriangle/pseuds/Caroline_fangirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrinceMewstar/pseuds/PrinceMewstar
Summary: When Zero chooses to reveal his identity to Suzaku, a spark of hope is formed between them. Instead of forsaking him, Suzaku requests to be assigned Zero's personal knight and captor, living with him like before. Nostalgia and unexpected, complicated feelings arise as they play the endless charade of a boy and his best friend.
Relationships: Kururugi Suzaku/Lelouch Lamperouge | Lelouch vi Britannia
Comments: 104
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Season 2 of the anime! This is a roleplay-based fic between BillCipherTriangle and me (PrinceMewstar), so that means this will be in 3rd person-omniscient. Hope it's not too confusing. We have some smut chapters written later on, thus the rating. Please follow if you'd like some heated Suzalulu, haha. There's a lot in store for this one.

**White Knight AU 1**

The stone rattled within the cool cavern of Kamine Island. Swift currents of slapping branches and the surging sea roared outside the entryway, but Lelouch took no notice. C.C. had brought down his pursuers with the Gawain, the ravaging storm prevented another unidentified Knightmare from following him, and Lelouch was on his way to rescue Nunnally.

 _No._ Not "on his way". He was _here_ , standing before the double doors of truth, a moment from saving his beloved sister.

Lelouch would save Nunnally, he would dawn the mask of Zero once again, and he would return to lead his Black Knights in the nick of time. Zero would not lose his position as a hero. _And I won't lose Nunnally._

 _I'm not losing my chance to kill you, Zero!_ Suzaku flew the Lancelot towards the island, following after Zero. Suzaku would have his chance at revenge. His chance to save Japan. _A storm isn't going to stop me._

Despite the strong winds battering his path, Suzaku held strong. _Euphy. I will avenge your death._ Suzaku's hands flew on the controls, skillfully landing the craft in an open spot beside the rocks. The Gawain's signal had disappeared from his radar long ago, but it not being here meant Zero was either on foot or drowned at sea.

But Suzaku refused to believe Zero was dead. With a flourish, the Lancelot's cockpit opened to the storm. A cave hid in the center of Kamine Island. Suzaku wasted no time finding it.

His gut knew Zero would be there.

Zero was waiting for him, back turned to the entrance of the cave. Suzaku's irritation spiked. Zero appeared not to notice him, arms outstretched.

" _Zero_. You deserted your men in battle. You're a coward. Yet you call yourself a leader?"

 _Ah._ Lelouch paused at the door, his hand retreating to his hip. _Suzaku._ Of course he came. Suzaku was dependable and reckless like that.

Of _course_ he would try to stand in Zero's way. But not Lelouch's. Or so he hoped.

Slowly, Zero turned, his helmet gleaming with the next flash of lightning.

"You would run too if you had someone you wanted to protect."

"You _killed_ Princess Euphemia. You left your so-called comrades to die!" Suzaku stepped forward, pistol trained on the criminal. "What would you know about protecting others? All you do is preach hatred and violence!" Suzaku's pulse raced, but he wasn't scared. Zero was a strategist, first and foremost, and Suzaku was learning how to read him better after every battle.

Lelouch's fingers twitched. _I don't have time for this._ He didn't hold a candle to Suzaku's combat ability. Thus, Lelouch had come prepared with a faux bomb … Even so, he sensed if Suzaku did not calm down, not even that would stop him.

Not to mention Lelouch could no longer use Geass on Suzaku. Of all things, Lelouch had ordered Suzaku to _live_. It was a death-trap Zero walked into further every day. All because he cared about him.

"I am here to save Princess Nunnally vi Britannia!" Zero said. "She has been kidnapped! Your country and mine will have no meaning without her, so I beg you to lay down your weapon!"

Suzaku froze. _Nunnally?_ His childhood friend, the sweet girl he'd recently seen safe and sound … was kidnapped? _No … this is wrong._ "Y-you kidnapped her, didn't you? You staged this." Suzaku's finger twitched on the trigger. "A-are you planning to kill _her_ too?"

Zero should have shot first. His hand had already closed over the gun at his side, his other inching towards the bomb in his pocket. _You fool,_ Zero thought. _I'd rather die here than betray Nunnally._

But Lelouch wanted to trust Suzaku.

"Suzaku …" Lelouch said, a crack in his armor, a hint at the struggle within himself. The weakness was there, and then it was gone. "I have nothing to prove my word other than the sincerity of my intentions here. Kill me afterwards, if you so wish, but allow me to save her! She is our hope. Please, spare me this and spare your world."

A part of Suzaku wanted to believe Zero wasn't completely evil — he sounded so human at that moment. But for Euphy's and now Nunnally's sake, Suzaku couldn't. Not knowing what Zero had done.

"No. I'm sorry, Zero. I cannot allow you to lay a finger on anyone else," Suzaku said. "For the sake of the world, you will fall today!"

Now Suzaku was ready.

Ready to shoot him.

_He killed you, Euphy … After this, the world will have peace._

"Then, _you_ save her!" Lelouch shouted. Zero's mask hid his real tone and expression, but he could feel his facade breaking and slipping away. " _Please_ , Suzaku … Please — everything — everything I've done has been for Nunnally!"

Suzaku glared through tears he didn't realize were welling up. "No … You're lying! You _murdered_ Princess Euphemia, who did nothing wrong! And you'll do the same to Princess Nunnally!" Suzaku's finger tightened on the trigger. "How dare you harm everyone I love!"

 _Go ahead. Hurt me. Punish me. Kill me._ Lelouch trembled, the billowing cloak around him shielding his nerves from Suzaku's gaze. Did Suzaku really think _any_ of that had been easy?

Did he think Lelouch wanted _any_ of this to happen?

It wasn't Lelouch that Suzaku saw, but Zero. A faceless man with muddied morals. And Lelouch knew how Suzaku was about morals.

 _This can't go on._ Lelouch raised his hand holding the gun. But only so his other could move towards his mask. "You're forgetting someone."

 _Shoot me. Make me bleed._ Zero would have taken the shot. Lelouch had another idea.

Quickly, Lelouch pushed the button on the inside of his helmet. With a buzz, it folded and released itself. His mask lifted away.

Suzaku watched, heart hammering. Rage, resentment, curiosity, dread. He couldn't shoot with his emotions clouding his mind, not without aiming to kill.

Although, he'd likely kill him either way. For Euphy. Or at the very least turn him in. He was a terrorist. _Euphy's murderer._

But why? _Why reveal your identity now? To me._

Suzaku sucked in a breath.

The helmet clattered to the ground. It echoed, a pop, the last straw breaking Zero's back. Lelouch, black bangs matted to his head, his piercing eyes a mismatched violet and red, did his best to stand tall.

The betrayal on Suzaku's face just about broke Lelouch to tears. Yet he refused to cry. He'd expected this reaction.

"Suzaku."

Disappointment seized Suzaku's body. _Zero is … No … No._ If he'd felt loss before, now every pinprick of hope had died. Suzaku's best friend was worse than dead. The tears spilled out, all of his fury and pain, yet confusion kept trying to bottle it up.

_I don't want to believe this._

"Lelouch …"

"Yes," Lelouch replied softly. "I'm your murderer. I'm your villain. I'm the one you came to defeat. But most of all, I hope you can believe I'd never do anything to hurt Nunnally."

Suzaku nodded reluctantly, choking on his rage. Lelouch might not hurt Nunnally, but Zero would. The Lelouch he knew would never support such extreme measures of violence, the kinds of disasters Zero inflicted on the world.

But Suzaku couldn't shoot him.

 _Even after everything …_ Suzaku didn't want anyone else he loved to die. And he still loved Lelouch.

But _Zero_ had to die. And Suzaku swore to kill him. "Lelouch vi Britannia, you're under arrest for treason and the murder of Euphemia li Britannia." Suzaku took another step.

Towards his best friend. A terrorist. A murderer.

 _Very well._ But no, as Nunnally's brother — as someone who knew nothing but striving for revenge, Lelouch could not accept that. It was then he realized the bomb would no longer do him good. Not only did Suzaku intend to capture Lelouch, but Suzaku was prepared to die.

 _What is our friendship worth?_ Nothing, it seemed. Lelouch choked back a protest, his feet hitting the door behind him. There was nowhere to run.

"Suzaku, _don't_. If you do this, Nunnally will —"

"This is about _you_." Suzaku continued to approach, refusing to make eye contact with Lelouch. _You aren't the same person anymore. I have nothing to mourn._

Darting forward, Suzaku hooked Lelouch's shoulders with one arm and spun him around, fingertips digging into Zero's coat. Gun still trained on him, Suzaku snatched Lelouch's wrists, yanked them behind his back, and dragged him to his feet.

"Stop — unhand me —!"

"I'm sorry," Suzaku murmured into Lelouch's ear. He tugged him closer. _I can't leave this to you anymore._

He would use the opportunity to turn Zero in. _Surrender my best friend to Britannia._

It was the best way to ensure Nunnally's safety.

Lelouch gave up struggling and walked out into the storm with him. The rain worsened, soaking their clothes in a matter of seconds. The sky rumbled as if the very gods were upset with them. _What a sight we must be._

Lelouch found he was crying. There was a sharp pain where Suzaku was gripping him and an even sharper pain in his heart.

"I'm sorry," Suzaku repeated.

 _He's sorry …_ "Sorry" was a petty, _useless_ word. Made in pity to accomplish nothing.

"You have no right to say sorry to me," Lelouch hissed.

"I'll … ask to have the knights search for Nunnally. She'll be safe."

"She's right _here!_ " Lelouch shouted. "Your 'knights' aren't going to help! The system is broken! Britannia is corrupt! _All they've done is hurt us!_ And you'd hand me over to them?"

The storm raged around them, drowning out Lelouch's voice. Suzaku had to strain to hear him.

"None of that changes the fact that you're Zero. Or what you've done," Suzaku said softly. _I wish you weren't. We could have stayed friends …_ "You're a criminal now. It's not up to me anymore."

Suzaku shoved Lelouch into the Lancelot, allowing him to ride with him, albeit not before tying his wrists and ankles tightly.

"Don't try anything. Both of us could die if you do." Not that Suzaku cared about his own life. He'd rather die than do any of this. _Please, kill me, Lelouch._

Only … _"Live!"_ that damned order he couldn't escape.

With the storm, it would be hard for any pilot other than Suzaku to fly to the island. He hoped the skies would calm soon. His chest felt heavy, even more so with the weight of the water dripping from his suit.

Lelouch slumped against the wall of the cockpit, panting quietly with the strain of the stress crashing over him. The walk to the Lancelot had been more exhausting than any run — every inch away from Kamine Island was a lightyear away from where he yearned to be. He needed to be by Nunnally's side, to bring her to safety. Lelouch fought his binds for a moment more until he ran out of energy and sulked.

Lelouch's dripping hair and face could no longer boast of solely being wet with rain. He knew Suzaku could see him crying. _I'm a fool._

 _He's crying._ That came as no surprise to Suzaku. He ignored the water blurring his own vision, the reality of the moment sinking into his skin. _Euphy …_

Why would Zero kill her? Weren't Lelouch and Euphemia family? If anyone knew how hard it was to kill family and friends, it was Suzaku, struggling to live under the weight of murdering his own father.

Suzaku gripped the pin Princess Euphemia gave him as he took control of his Knightmare, trying to contact someone through the radio. Only it seemed the storm had interrupted communications. The speakers rumbled with static. Suzaku sighed and shut it off when he realized none of his messages would go through.

"Why did you kill her?" Suzaku asked at last.

Lelouch tasted the tang of blood, bitter and metallic in his mouth. _It was a mistake. I can't control my Geass._ He did not look at Suzaku, did not speak. That was a pathetic answer, one that would garner nothing but hatred from Suzaku.

Life happened to be unjust.

"Because I am an evil man," Lelouch answered at a whisper. Was that what Suzaku wanted to hear? "Because it was convenient for me."

Suzaku wasn't sure what he wanted to hear. Or what he wanted to believe.

He gritted his teeth to hold back the tears. Angrily, he focused on flying Lancelot through the storm, back towards the mainland.

Suzaku didn't know what to say or what to do … So he went silent and didn't ask Zero — _Lelouch_ — any more questions.

* * *

"Your Majesty, I've brought the terrorist faction leader, Zero." Suzaku bowed, keeping his grip on Lelouch steady. His friend was limp beneath him, his matted hair warm under Suzaku's hand.

 _Why did it have to be you?_ Suzaku hid his grief. After all, he was in the presence of the emperor. Now wasn't the time.

Lelouch, who had been passive until that moment, suddenly began struggling again. No … he couldn't go back to his father like this. No, he could _not_ be seen. _I can't —_

"Excellent," Charles said, standing from his throne. His broad shoulders sported a cape that dragged on the staircase as he approached. "To think Zero, the miscreant who was causing so much trouble, had been my own son."

 _No!_ Lelouch ripped his head out of Suzaku's grip for a brief moment. Lelouch's Geass might save him — if only he could —

Charles quickly turned his head. "Cover his left eye."

Suzaku knew Zero had the power of Geass. He did as asked, using his other arm to hold Lelouch down. With Zero's eye covered, it would be safe. _No one else will be hurt._

"S-suzaku! Please! Don't! _Don't!_ " Lelouch strained, but to no avail.

Charles came forward, a smirk on his face. "I would say I'm impressed. You were quite the enemy, _Zero_. But we will be enemies no longer. I won't have that of my son."

"Y-you're no father of mine!"

"Hold his other eye open."

 _What._ Geass. Lelouch recognized it right away. The glint of red, the way his mind seized at their eye contact. Immediately, Lelouch tried to turn to Suzaku. "N-no! _Suzaku —_ "

The way Lelouch kept saying his name … Suzaku wanted to listen to him. His grip on Lelouch weakened, pain stabbing at his chest.

Suzaku gazed at the Emperor, his mind racing. "Wait. With all due respect, Your Majesty, I'd like a reward for turning him in. I wish to be a Knight of the Round, assigned to Lelouch!"

And if his request wasn't granted, well, he could always … Let his grasp on him slip accidentally …

Charles barked in laughter. "Well, then! You will have what you wish!"

Lelouch wasn't sure what he was hearing, but he didn't like it. There was _no_ way Charles would let him live as a prince or even as a prisoner. What his father had in mind must be more sinister. There was a greater chance Charles had kidnapped Nunnally to use as bait, then planned on keeping Lelouch as a Geass weapon or —

"You will watch over Lelouch," Charles said. His gaze flashed again, eyes glowing red and piercing into Lelouch's skull. "But Zero shall die today."

* * *

Suzaku found he rather liked his routine as a Knight of the Round. He still got to see Lloyd and pilot the Lancelot when needed. He got to go to school again. But most importantly, he was able to make sure Zero, the enemy of the empire, didn't return.

An endless punishment. An endless hope.

Suzaku had gone back to Ashford Academy with Lelouch. Suzaku was welcomed as always by the Student Council, spending time outside of classes with the group, keeping an eye on his friend …

Yes, after many long days of crying, screaming, and punching inanimate objects, Suzaku had made up his mind. If Zero was really gone, he could go back to being Lelouch's friend.

But Suzaku wasn't able to forgive him for killing Euphy, and it kept their relationship from being what it once was. A bit more distant. Tense on Suzaku's end, reminders of Zero nagging him, torturing him.

Like any other day, Suzaku took his seat in class next to Lelouch, waiting for the lecture to start.

Lelouch smiled when Suzaku sat down, nodding at him in greeting. Since Lelouch's memory was wiped, the blazing red of his left eye had faded back into his natural violet.

And his smiles felt a lot more genuine.

Suzaku smiled back but turned away after a moment. It was still hard not being able to forgive him, but also not being able to talk about it with anyone …

Suzaku sighed. _Just don't worry about it. Forget._ "Good morning," he said just as class was about to start.

"Good morning," Lelouch said. He leaned back in his chair, one hand playing with a pen on his desk. "How did the homework go? Were you able to solve that challenge problem?"

"Mm, not exactly. I guess they're called challenge problems for a reason." Suzaku shrugged with a chuckle, though he was pretty sure Lelouch was the better student between the two of them.

"I wasn't kidding when I said I'd help you if you ever want me to," Lelouch said. For as long as he could remember, Suzaku had been near him, living with him, supporting him as his closest friend. It was something about Suzaku's Knight of the Round contract that had them sharing the living complex at Ashford Academy.

Although they always were somewhat reserved around each other (and Suzaku was usually too independent to ask Lelouch for favors), Lelouch honestly admired Suzaku. As both a knight and a full-time student, Suzaku was quite the role model. _I just wish we had more time together._

Suzaku being a knight meant that he was sometimes called off for royal business. He was always busy, always doing something. In the end, it was Sir Suzaku Kururugi, a man of power and status, and Lelouch Lamperouge, just some lucky, regular guy who somehow got put in the same house as him.

Lelouch smirked as the rest of their classmates shuffled in the door.

Suzaku nodded with a grateful smile. He believed him, especially with that kind grin and the look in his eyes. Lelouch would always be there to help if he ever needed it. It was a nice feeling, having someone there, and even now, the offer warmed his chest.

Even so, Suzaku would not be able to tell Lelouch why he'd left some nights to cry … The order to live haunted him especially on those nights.

Suzaku wanted to confide in Lelouch, have someone to talk to about everything. But he held it in, bottled it up. He distracted himself with his job and his school life instead.

Shirley waved, walking towards them cheerfully. "Hi, Lulu! Hi, Suzaku."

Lelouch waved back at her, a small chuckle leaving his lips. Shirley had a crush on him, and it showed. But Lelouch appreciated her as a friend, so he played it off as though he were any other oblivious male. "Did you finish the challenge problem?" he asked casually, mostly as a playful jab to Suzaku.

"Which challenge problem?" Shirley asked, blushing when Lelouch lifted a brow. "Well, I um … No, I don't understand the homework. Maybe we can, uh … s-study together?"

Suzaku held in a laugh. Shirley always had a soft spot for Lelouch. It was endearing to watch.

 _I wish Suzaku would say that._ Lelouch put the pen down, leaning forward over the desk. "At this rate, we might as well invite the whole Student Council," he said. "Looks like Rivalz and Milly are about to try and throw the homework out entirely."

Milly and Rivalz were talking up front to their teacher. Rivalz was gesturing madly to the homework. Milly shook her head.

"But — but you actually expect us to _apply_ our knowledge?" Rivalz choked dramatically. Milly tugged him away from the teacher's desk by the ears. "Ow! _Ow!_ "

Shirley pouted, but her normal good mood was quick to return. "Well, at least we know everyone needs help!" she said. "We can all help each other."

Suzaku couldn't help but laugh at their usual antics; for a moment, it seemed everything was back to normal.

And then … "Ouch!" Suzaku cringed, feeling the familiar pain of Arthur biting his ankle. He smiled and picked up the cat. "Lelouch, we have a guest."

Lelouch barely suppressed his laugh, his eyebrows shooting up high. "Why is he here? Class is starting!"

"Moral support." Milly appeared over Suzaku's shoulder. Rivalz approached from the opposite side, putting some distance between them. His ear was red.

Suzaku felt better surrounded by his classmates and friends. "Moral support, indeed," he agreed. He let Arthur go, hoping he'd find his way out of the class without disrupting anything.

Arthur hissed, coming back for a second attack. Milly lunged for the cat, but Arthur dodged, darting towards Lelouch —

Lelouch caught him by the scruff before he could reach Suzaku. Arthur immediately pacified. "Get him under control. _Please,_ " Lelouch said with a sigh. He plopped Arthur down in Milly's waiting arms. "I'd like to get Suzaku home in one piece."

Milly winked at him, retreating with the others as the teacher ordered them to take their seats.

Another day. Another act. Another dream.

Suzaku took a deep breath just as Lelouch resumed tapping his pen.


	2. Chapter 2

**White Knight AU 2**

Before Suzaku knew it, the school day was over, and he was heading back to the dorm he shared with Lelouch.

Suzaku had the evening off from work. Instead of getting called for diplomatic meetings or battles, Suzaku could enjoy another night pretending to be a regular kid again.

He sighed and slumped onto the couch as soon as they got to the clubhouse. Suzaku rarely had time to relax.

Lelouch put his bag on the floor, but instead of getting out his homework folder like usual, he plopped down next to Suzaku. They had just come back from a Student Council study session, after all, so the night was looking relatively clear. _Maybe we can have some fun today._

Suzaku glanced at him but didn't say anything. Of course, the fewer distractions there were, the more his mind wandered to the past. _No. Not today. You had a good day …_ But Suzaku's eyes betrayed him, clearly pained even though he wasn't crying.

"Sayoko will want to make us dinner, but I was thinking I could take a shot at it for once," Lelouch said, hoping to relax Suzaku. He often appeared to be burdened by his duties. _I can only imagine the pain of watching people die … and having to fight others. It must be hard._

"That sounds nice," Suzaku said, nodding. "Want me to help you?" _Please, just give me something to do … Get my mind off things before I have to leave and —_

Well, it wasn't like he could do what he desperately wanted to. He'd probably just end up crying or punching a hole in the wall.

"Sure! Let's make something good," Lelouch agreed. But instead of getting up, he spread out on the couch, laying down with his legs over the armrest. Lelouch tilted his head back and smiled at Suzaku, who was upside-down. " _After_ I rest a bit. I'm exhausted."

Suzaku held in a laugh, shaking his head. Lelouch was pretty silly when he wanted to be. "Whatever you say." Besides, Suzaku really did want to rest.

The moments where Suzaku could forget all about Euphy's death and Zero were the best. He could pretend none of it had ever happened. That they were friends. Pretending was what kept him from falling apart on this mission, from quitting, from killing him.

_He's more tired than me._ Lelouch felt guilty sometimes for dancing around the issue, but it surely wasn't his business … and Suzaku had a lot of weight on his shoulders. _I want to help you._ The best Lelouch could do was be his friend.

"Suzaku, did you ever think as a kid it would have been fun to walk on the ceiling?" Lelouch said, his bangs falling out of his eyes as he shifted to give Suzaku more space.

"Huh?" His question caught Suzaku off-guard, especially with all the thoughts floating around his head.

Before Suzaku killed his father, he was a kid, just like Lelouch … But he'd grown up since then. A part of him wanted to still be that kid.

"I guess so." Suzaku flashed him a small smile. "To be hanging upside-down above everyone."

"For me, I thought it would be like another world. The ceiling feels so empty, you know? Whenever people kept bothering me, I thought: Hey, wouldn't it be nice to get a moment of quiet up there?" Lelouch said. He watched Suzaku's reaction, laughing softly. "Of course, I realized the flaw with that logic soon enough. If not because it's the same loud there, but also because it would get lonely without a friend."

_So that's what this is about._ Suzaku hummed. "Yes. Having friends like Shirley and Milly and Rivalz is important."

"Absolutely." Lelouch deflated, but he let his arms hang with the rest of his torso off the couch, pretending to be fine. _He's definitely holding something back._

The response Lelouch had been looking for was along the lines of _If you can still hear people, they can still see you too,_ but that would imply Suzaku was opening a hand to others.

Since he didn't respond how Lelouch wanted, the weight of Suzaku's loneliness hit him. _He doesn't want help. Whatever it is, he's fighting alone._ Lelouch shut his eyes. _He's fighting alone, and he doesn't trust me enough to reach out to me. Is it that bad? Something confidential?_

He had no right to ask, but he was disappointed anyway. _I want to be a worthy friend to you … but it seems I'm far from it no matter how hard I try._

Lelouch yawned, attempting to appear tired instead of sad, but inside, his heart was aching for his friend.

"I mean …" Suzaku trailed, unsure of what he was trying to say. _Lelouch wants me to share my feelings because I'm his friend in his eyes._ Though no matter how much he wanted to, Suzaku couldn't. "I'm sorry, Lelouch."

Suzaku stood from the couch after a moment, turning his tear-filled eyes away from him. _Shake it off already._

"Let's cook dinner together," Suzaku said. He still liked that idea, despite everything.

Lelouch rolled off the couch. Standing, he shook the invisible dust from his clothes and hair, fingering through the mess. His bed-head would never leave him alone, at least.

Lelouch chose not to mention the _sorry_ Suzaku gave him. It seemed pitiful, painful, and Lelouch preferred the distraction.

"Dinner, it is!" Lelouch said, walking into the kitchen. "Maybe if we make a large enough disaster, Sayoko will be too busy cleaning to finish cooking for us."

Suzaku laughed, smiling as he imagined that. "Maybe. What would you like to make?" He followed and opened the cabinets, checking for ingredients.

"Something … um, how about some traditional Area 11 cuisine? I eat so many of the same Britannian foods these days," Lelouch said. "I'm thinking pan-fried noodles or something. Does that sound good?"

"Pan-fried noodles sound great." Suzaku also ate Britannian food most of the time, even as a Knight of the Round. It would be nice to cook noodles again. And rice.

"Perfect." Lelouch found two aprons hanging from the wall. One of them was pink, the other white. _Were they always these colors?_ Maybe Sayoko just liked mixing things up every now and then. Lelouch took one look at Suzaku and wrapped the pink apron around himself.

Suzaku forced a smile and put on the white apron. It reminded him of his nickname as the Lancelot's pilot. _Lelouch probably doesn't want to make me wear pink. This doesn't mean anything. Calm down._

He set the ingredients they'd need on the counter. Noodles. Cooking oil. Vegetables. Rice. _Maybe this will help us._ Suzaku got out a frying pan. _Perhaps by working together, we can start to mend things between us. After all, Zero is gone._

Lelouch's grin returned while they started getting things going. _Suzaku is happier working in the kitchen._

So making dinner was a good idea.

"Are there any other ingredients I should grab?" Lelouch asked, washing his hands. He would start prepping the vegetables while Suzaku worked the stove.

Suzaku took a look at the ingredients and shook his head. "That should be everything." He filled a pot with water to make the noodles and readied the rice steamer. _Just think about cooking. With your friend._

At the counter, Lelouch chopped the green onions, working at a leisurely pace. His hands moved with precision, making clean, even cuts. Lelouch might not have been the most talented athlete or cook, but his hand-eye-coordination was beyond passable. He glanced curiously at Suzaku. "Don't forget to turn on the air vent. Sayoko will be mad if we make the place smell like food."

Suzaku pressed the switch to turn the vent on, glad Lelouch had asked him to do something else. Suzaku realized he'd been staring at him, watching him cut the veggies. But also staring at the knife and having some … Well, not so good thoughts.

While the water was beginning to boil, Lelouch finished chopping the ingredients and opened the window. Shadows bled across the grass, the sun setting in a flush of orange and red.

"It's nice," Lelouch said. "The sunset." He scraped the last bits of vegetables from his knife onto the chopping board.

Suzaku gazed at the sunset, his frame relaxing a bit. "Yes, it's beautiful." His hand found its way into his pocket, where he kept his pin from Euphy. Suzaku gave it a squeeze, feeling better. _Enjoy the sunset too, wherever you are._

There was something about Suzaku's calm expression that reminded Lelouch of the face of someone else he knew. _Shirley? Maybe?_ No, that didn't make much sense …

Lelouch shrugged to himself and carried the chopping board over to Suzaku. "Tell me when I should add these."

Suzaku pulled his hand out of his pocket and moved aside. "Go ahead." The noodles were almost finished boiling, they just needed to be added to the vegetables when he finished cooking them.

Suzaku felt better, and a clear thought ran through his head now. _It's time to heal …_ He needed to recognize Euphy's death, but he couldn't be so upset about her and Zero all the time. He had a duty he had to fulfill. As a Knight, but also as a student.

Lelouch poured the veggies into the pan. They crackled as they hit, sizzling and steaming from the high heat. A savory aroma carried into the air. Lelouch retreated quick enough not to get burned. His shoulder brushed against Suzaku's when he did, but Lelouch stepped away. "Oh, sorry."

Suzaku didn't seem to mind since they were both working in the same area. "It's fine." Suzaku stirred the vegetables in the pan. "Can you finish the rice for me?"

Lelouch went to check the steamer on the far side of the counter. They hardly ever used it, since Britannian cooking usually used the oven. "It's done," Lelouch said. "Are you planning on making fried rice with it? Or?"

"No, just steamed rice with the noodles," Suzaku said. "It's been a long time since I've had traditional Japanese food."

_Japanese._ Lelouch didn't recall Suzaku ever using the word. But … for some reason, it felt familiar. Right. _Why? Why does my head hurt?_

Lelouch forced a grin, fighting the throb of pain that passed through him. "Sounds … good." _Ah._ Really, his head hurt. Lelouch gripped the edge of the counter, but the pain seemed to have passed. _What_ was _that?_

Suzaku noticed Lelouch's stumble and frowned. "Are you okay?" Suzaku asked. "Did you accidentally cut your finger?" It was instinct to ask. He hated seeing people hurt, upset, or dying. Even if it was Zero.

Shaking his head made him dizzy, so Lelouch rubbed his eyes instead, taking even breaths. "No, I … felt a headache, but it passed. I'm fine now," he said. "Probably because I stayed up too late the other night. Don't worry about it."

_Weird. Maybe some food will help._ Suzaku decided as he finished cooking. "Go sit down. I'll serve you the food."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Suzaku said. "If you have a headache, you get some rest. I'll finish here. It's almost ready."

Lelouch cast him a grateful smile, warmth spreading in his chest. _Thank you._ He put up his apron and left the kitchen, catching sight of their maid Sayoko standing by the doorway.

"Master Lelouch," she said with a bow, "I see you aren't feeling well. Shall I take care of you?"

"No, thank you, but I'm fine. Suzaku and I were cooking noodles. It's nearly done."

"So I can tell." Sayoko pulled out a chair for Lelouch. "Master Suzaku, I recommend using a touch more salt!"

"Ah, thank you, Sayoko!" Suzaku added more salt, realizing she was correct by the smell. Since they didn't have soy sauce, it made a big difference.

Suzaku skillfully finished up and set the table for them. He served the noodles and rice, taking the pan back to the kitchen. Then he took a seat next to Lelouch.

Lelouch, having only sipped at his glass of water, waited until Suzaku started eating before he picked up his fork. The first bite struck him as particularly delicious. _Wow._

Sayoko, per usual, was hesitant about sharing the table with them, but she had learned to accept her welcome. Both of them would have told her to stay if she'd asked. After all, dinner was meant to be shared with everyone. They would always set her a plate. She sat at the end of the table, giving them plenty of space, and ate after Lelouch had started.

"This is great," Lelouch said after a moment. His headache was completely gone.

Suzaku ate slowly, savoring the taste. He'd missed Japanese food. "Ah, thanks." His cheeks heated at Lelouch's comment. He wasn't that great of a cook, but he tried his best.

Lelouch smiled at Suzaku's sheepishness. Whenever Suzaku got like that, Lelouch was tempted to shower him with compliments. It was fun to see his face go red, hear his voice soften, and, best of all, forget about his troubles for a while. _Also, it's nice to have the upper-hand for once._

"I agree," Sayoko said. "Although consider adding pepper flakes next time. I can buy some if you plan on making this in the near future."

Suzaku smiled sweetly. "Of course. It could probably use some more flavor. I'm still working on my cooking skills." Right now, he felt lighter, less burdened by his worries.

"I like it how it is!" Lelouch declared, taking another bite. In truth, the food was good because he hadn't had it in a long time, plus he helped Suzaku make it. It had a homemade flavor that probably wouldn't do in a restaurant but managed to fill Lelouch with happiness.

"I appreciate it," Suzaku said, pleasantly surprised. _He likes my food._

"Yeah, seriously." Lelouch wiped his mouth, grinning back at him. "You're really amazing, you know. Thanks for everything."

Lelouch realized that he was leaning towards him (for a hug?), but he straightened in time and hoped Suzaku didn't catch it. _Oh boy, that came out of nowhere. Embarrassing_ _…_

Suzaku had looked away, the compliments having made his face hot. Lelouch's violet eyes were so pure and full of friendship. "Y-you're welcome," Suzaku said softly. _You flatter me too much without knowing I've betrayed you …_

Lelouch continued eating, confused as to why his insides were so bothered by Suzaku's reaction. _He's going to think you're sick or something._ Lelouch took another drink of water. _Sayoko's already looking at me weird._ But it felt good to see Suzaku appreciating his words. Lelouch would be okay with embarrassing himself if it meant making his friend feel valued.

_Does Suzaku get treated alright as a knight?_ Lelouch knew he was the Knight of Seven. Such a high position demanded respect, but Suzaku was also the first honorary Britannian to ever join their ranks. He was a minority, a target of discrimination. Lelouch felt guilty that he didn't know the answer to the question.

"It'd … be nice if we could eat like this together more often," Lelouch said. "Can we do it again tomorrow?"

_You're not Zero. You're my childhood friend, Lelouch._ And Suzaku believed it. After all, the man in front of him had no memories of Zero. _So I shouldn't treat him like they're the same …_

Suzaku had to try to forget. And he knew it would be hard. So … "Lelouch, I'm sorry I've been distant. Things haven't been great at work. And I may lash out at you or yell at you. But it's not your fault."

_It's Zero's. He's gone. He's dead._

As for his request, well, Suzaku would agree to it. "I will try to eat dinner with you, yes. If I don't get called in. Serving Britannia comes first. I hope you understand."

"I understand." Lelouch put down his fork, noticing Sayoko had finished and had escaped soundlessly to the kitchen with her plate. Lelouch's voice rang steady, genuine understanding in his tone. "I'm happy you spend any of your time with a guy like me. And … I noticed you weren't feeling well earlier. For the past few weeks, actually. I wanted to let you have space in case it was something I shouldn't get involved in. Thanks for telling me it wasn't my fault, though … I couldn't help thinking I'd done something to upset you without knowing."

"It's a hard responsibility, being a Knight of the Round, and I thought I had to bear it alone." Suzaku paused. "Thank you for being concerned. For caring."

_I want_ this _Lelouch to stay. No more Zero. Ever._ Suzaku's mission was more important than ever. If he wanted to keep this … illusion of friendship, he'd have to be careful.

"I suppose I don't have to carry everything by myself," Suzaku said with a grin. "Thanks for helping me realize that."

Lelouch returned the smile. _Suzaku …_ Those were the words Lelouch had been waiting to hear for so long. It was hard going to bed each night, worrying about his friend, worrying about their relationship. Lelouch's ability to look ahead and predict the worst outcomes hadn't helped. _But this did._

"I wouldn't be your friend if I didn't support you," Lelouch said. "You're welcome to lay your burdens on me or use me for distractions or even yell at me if you need to. I'd rather that than you have to deal with your problems alone. Please don't bottle anything up or beat yourself down. I know you have a tendency to …"

Suzaku would try his best, but the heaviest burdens of Euphemia and Zero would be his to carry. He could release some of the weight of his job through Lelouch: the less severe stresses like the fighting and being discriminated against …

Suzaku was haunted by things he couldn't share or even hint at, just as he was when he killed his father. Especially if Suzaku wanted to keep this peaceful game of pretend with his friend. _It's better than letting him be used by the emperor._

"Thanks. I'll do my best not to be as upset, but no promises." Suzaku's eyes were beginning to water — he was happy to have someone there for him. Even if Lelouch wasn't aware of his own hatred.

_Maybe … one day you'll help me want to live again._

"It's okay to be upset. Just don't be upset without letting me know," Lelouch said. He rested a comforting hand on Suzaku's arm then pushed back from his chair. "Let me do dishes with Sayoko. You rest, okay? I'm feeling much better after eating."

_Warm. His hand is warm._ Wait, why was that all Suzaku could think of?

"Are you sure? I can do it," Suzaku protested, not wanting to make Lelouch and Sayoko clean up his mess.

"Positive!" Lelouch snatched Suzaku's empty rice bowl. "Allow me. I insist."

After a pause, Suzaku finally consented. "Alright. I'm glad you're feeling better."

"You too." Lelouch gave Suzaku's shoulder a pat as he left.

His touch lingered longer than Suzaku would have liked.


	3. Chapter 3

**White Knight AU 3**

The next week went by smoothly. Ever since their dinner together, Suzaku had a much easier time forgetting his anger around Lelouch. The Student Council study group grew in size to a full club, many of the other students gathering for their sessions. Homework got done quickly when people weren't goofing off, and with Suzaku around, Lelouch tried a lot harder to study.

Despite suspicions, the headache Lelouch had seemed to have been _just_ a headache — Lelouch showed no sign of regaining Zero's memories. He was just Lelouch Lamperouge, Suzaku's best friend, a normal schoolboy. Zero was still dead.

It was looking to be another good day for Suzaku, the school bell ringing to release class for the weekend. Lelouch was picking up his things off his desk when Suzaku got a call. The knight's phone vibrated with the rhythm he'd set for members of the OSI.

Suzaku answered, finding out they wanted him to come in for a meeting. He was curious what it could be about. After all, everything had been going so well. He hadn't made a mistake already, had he?

He bid Lelouch a brief goodbye, telling him it was official business and he might be back late. He knew his friend would understand. Suzaku smiled and waved at Lelouch before heading off to the meeting room.

The Office of Secret Intelligence was located underneath Ashford Academy. The entrance was hidden and protected by a password, which then led into a dim hallway that ended in a set of computer rooms. Their goal was to use Lelouch to lure out C.C. while also making sure Suzaku didn't work against them.

Villetta Nu, posing as a teacher, was the leader of the research team. She stood waiting with her arms crossed as Suzaku entered. Two men watched a screen behind her — it observed Lelouch on his way to the clubhouse. Another screen waited to watch him after he entered. Constant surveillance.

"Kururugi, anything to report?" Villetta asked.

"No, ma'am," Suzaku said. "If anything, Lelouch is deeper in the fantasy now that we've mended our friendship."

Villetta didn't seem surprised.

"At this point, I can safely say I'm confident Zero will not return," Suzaku continued. After spending more time with Lelouch, he was feeling better about the power of the memory Geass. "I have a request, ma'am."

Villetta pursed her lips, eyes strikingly severe in the low lighting. "A request?" She knew better than to outwardly deny him, but her hatred against Japanese people showed. "What is it?"

"Can we please lower the amount of surveillance you have on Lelouch and me?" Suzaku asked politely. "As the Knight of Seven, I shall take responsibility for suspicions of C.C or Zero returning. I will immediately report here. Can you trust me enough to do that?"

"We cannot afford any evidence of C.C.'s whereabouts to slide past us," Villetta said. She glanced once at the screen when Lelouch entered the house, set his backpack down, and moved to sit on the couch. "You should be grateful for the extra eyes. You're human, even if you're a Knight of the Round. You cannot watch everything yourself."

_Worth a try, I suppose …_ Suzaku didn't feel like arguing. It would only make things worse and heighten their suspicions. So he would request for something a bit more simple instead of arguing … _Maybe that'll help._ "Yes, ma'am. You're right. However, maybe just for the bathroom? I feel it's a bit excessive. An invasion of basic privacy …"

No matter her prejudices, the likelihood of C.C. appearing in Lelouch's bathroom while the OSI occupied the space underneath it was next to none. Villetta wasn't desperate enough to hate Suzaku that she'd make herself sound stupid.

"After his crimes, Zero is no longer considered entitled to basic privacy," Villetta said. She huffed, turning with the sharp clack of her high heels. "But it sickens me anyway, having to watch him. Fine. You three! Disable the cameras at E7 and E34. Also disable mic 618. I could live without hearing any of that ever again."

The men seated at the desks started punching at the keys. One of the screens turned to a different view, this one of Nunnally's old bedroom.

Villetta's attention returned to Suzaku. "For the record, your friendship with Zero brings up reason to be cautious. You may be compelled to sympathize with him …"

Suzaku couldn't help the blush on his cheeks for what she had implied they had seen and/or heard. Although he supposed he couldn't be surprised. After all, they were both adults now …

"Ah, thank you. And I understand. I shall be extra careful. He's not Zero anymore, and if Zero comes back, I will be prepared to kill him for his crimes against the empire." Suzaku stood straight, making sure the lie was believed.

He wasn't exactly sure if he could kill him … But for now, he wasn't going to worry about it. The power of Geass would keep Zero from returning.

"You are not to kill anyone unless ordered to by the emperor," Villetta said. "Like it or not, Zero's status is still above yours. We have orders to keep him alive."

She waved her hand in dismissal, her skin smooth for someone who fought as much as she did.

"You should work to gain his trust enough that he might tell you if he does eventually regain his memories," Villetta said. "I know you're _awfully_ fond of each other, but we're choosing to use that to the advantage of Britannia. This can also be a detriment to us, so. Be prepared if we watch you especially to be sure our decision was a sound one."

Suzaku nodded, wincing internally since he screwed up his words even though he was careful. _He was always better at talking than me._ "Alright. I believe I can get Zero to trust me enough for him to think I'm on his side. Is that all?"

"Yes, you can go back to your little fantasy."

"Thank you." He wasn't about to let her change her mind. Even if he wanted to snap at her.

Suzaku took his leave. It was hard not to cry on his way back.

* * *

Lelouch was still lazing on the couch when Suzaku returned. Hands behind his head and legs spread out, Lelouch smiled at him as he entered. _There you are._ He had been waiting.

"Decided you couldn't wait for dinner?" Lelouch teased.

Suzaku had been staring and averted his eyes a bit too late. _Why is he sitting like that?_ It was enough to briefly put him off his pace.

"Sorry, Lelouch. Business came up, it was pretty important. We can cook dinner together tomorrow," Suzaku offered. "Well, as long as I don't get called in." He ran his fingers through his hair.

That had been for the OSI, but not for the Britannian military, so Suzaku might have to leave again.

That wiped the grin from Lelouch's face. He straightened, pulling his knees to his chest before he let his feet touch the floor. _Of course._ Lelouch sighed, though it was a sigh of surrender instead of disappointment. "Alright then, Suzaku. I was mostly joking anyway. Sayoko already made dinner for us."

Suzaku hoped he hadn't made him upset. It was hard to read Lelouch sometimes. "Okay, we can still eat then," he said.

After his conversation with Villetta, Suzaku felt unsure about a lot of things and needed the evening to sort them out. Hopefully, dinner would help.

Lelouch gestured to the table, where the plates and cups had been set out. He had told Sayoko to wait until Suzaku got back before taking the food off the stove. Lelouch wouldn't have enjoyed eating without Suzaku anyway, so he had planned on waiting until bedtime if he had to.

"Did you know Shirley's birthday is coming up soon?" Lelouch said. "Milly told me after you left."

"Oh." Suzaku hadn't remembered, too busy with his work as a knight. Now that he was reminded, he'd have to remember to wish her a happy birthday.

"It must be why she's been so nervous around me lately," Lelouch said with a smirk. "She probably was worried I'd forget."

Suzaku knew Shirley had affections for Lelouch; everyone knew. But the idea of them together made his mouth sour and his chest hurt. _Why …? Because I couldn't be like that with Euphy?_

Suzaku sat at the table, staring at his glass of water and zoning out. Finally, Suzaku looked up but had no clue what to say, so he simply watched his friend tell Sayoko they were ready.

Lelouch joined him at the table, sitting across from him this time. Lelouch propped his head up on his elbows, casually smiling at Suzaku while Sayoko came from the kitchen with a steaming pot of food. Lelouch thought about some things he could say while she placed it and a large spoon in the center of the table.

"I also made dinner rolls, if you would like some," Sayoko said.

"Yes, that'd be great." Lelouch took a slice of lemon from a bowl and squeezed it into his water. "Thank you."

"Thank you, Sayoko." Suzaku didn't want to forget his manners, even with his head muddled.

His goal to start moving on and to peacefully remember Euphemia had been going well, so he'd been less upset about the whole ordeal. Yet, there were times the sense of hatred and utter loss returned.

Lelouch had been a huge part in helping him, at least with his kind words of friendship. Although they were a fragment of the truth, those little reassurances meant a lot. The knowledge that he had support was helpful, but at the same time, fell short of what Suzaku really needed.

"Can I tell you something?"

Lelouch was about to pick up his water, but he took his hand off of it. "Yeah, sure. What is it?"

Suzaku sighed and looked at the table. "Someone important to me died … and it's been really hard," he admitted. "I'm trying to move on. I just …" Tears pricked at the ends of his vision, and he gazed at a blurry Lelouch. "My emotions are a mess, and I don't know what to say or do …"

"You find a reason to live on without them," Lelouch said immediately. He looked at Suzaku steadily. His heart twisted at seeing him so upset, but the answer came out easily. "It's just the same as if they were alive. They would want the best for you, just as you want it for them. You don't have to forget them or stop missing them, but you _do_ have to find something or someone to keep you going. Because one day, you'll see that person again, and they'll want you to have led a happy life."

Maybe Lelouch's tone was a bit insensitive, but it was his natural response. He hoped Suzaku could tell that he was feeling emotional as well; the knowledge that someone important to Suzaku had died hurt his heart. _Was it maybe … a family member? A comrade? Or …_ Lelouch thought about it, remembered how Suzaku had gotten his position in the first place. He remembered the princess that saw Suzaku standing out among the others and how terrorists had killed her … Lelouch's head hurt again. _Euphemia?_

_He has a good point._ Suzaku blinked away the tears. He didn't want to cry in front of his friend. "Okay, I — you're right."

Suzaku nodded, deciding to distract himself by eating slowly. It worked, the painful pressure on his chest going away.

"Thank you, Lelouch. For being there for me." Suzaku felt that was the truth. Since he'd decided to forget about Zero and move on from Euphy, Lelouch had returned to being his friend.

_Friends help each other. Just like we did as kids._

"If you ever need any help, I'm here," Suzaku said. It was the least Suzaku could do to repay his kindness. A kindness Suzaku didn't deserve considering the blood on his hands as his father's murderer and for betraying Lelouch …

However, Lelouch was not able to fully enjoy Suzaku's support. The same strange headache pierced his head, the flash of — _Euphemia?_ No, it was someone, someone in a Knightmare — _Suzaku?_

Lelouch hissed, gripping his bangs. The headache grew worse by the second — another vision came to him, this time of Euphemia standing in a dark room. She looked happy, her hand held out for his, and Lelouch —

"Master Lelouch!" Sayoko gripped his shoulders, looking into his face.

_What?_ Lelouch shook, sweating from the pain, but the visions ended, and he was back at the table, Suzaku and Sayoko in front of him. Lelouch put a hand on one of Sayoko's to console her. "I-I'm fine. Another headache, is all."

Suzaku had an anxious expression and a terrible gut feeling. He was concerned about Lelouch; he seemed to have been in great pain. Suzaku searched his eyes for a moment and placed a gentle hand on Lelouch's head, checking for a fever.

_No. But …_ "Lelouch, try to eat something," Suzaku said. "Last time, that helped your headache."

Suzaku's mind screamed at him. _Why did I talk about Euphemia? What if that triggered something?_

Sayoko and Suzaku touching him helped a lot. Lelouch woke up after that, his eyes refocusing on the two people who cared for him most. It felt good compared to the unsettling feeling he got when he had the visions … _Were they memories? Did I … personally know Princess Euphemia before?_

Sayoko stepped away from him and proceeded to ladle a considerable serving of food onto Lelouch's plate.

"Oh — uh, thanks. Both of you …" Lelouch said. He took a bite, glad he wasn't feeling nauseous on top of the headache. "Really, thank you. I feel better now. Don't worry."

_Lelouch, please be alright._ Suzaku sat next to Lelouch instead, carefully moving over his plate and cup. He wanted to be near him in case he got another headache.

_I'll have to be more careful with what I say, just in case._ Suzaku wouldn't be able to open up to Lelouch like he wanted. He'd probably have to go back to hiding everything again. _Mission before my feelings. I can't be selfish._

"Try to relax and eat. Hopefully, that will help." Suzaku flashed him a small, worried smile.

"Good idea," Lelouch said. He was irritated at himself for having a headache in the first place, but he knew he couldn't help it. _I wish I didn't worry him like this …_ But Lelouch was also glad Suzaku cared enough to go out of his way for him. It was sweet.

Sayoko hesitated beside Lelouch to be sure he was okay and then resumed her meal on the far end of the table.

"Just uh … thanks again," Lelouch said. His cheeks flushed in gratitude. "You two are amazing friends."

Sayoko made a face at the word _friend_ but humbly bowed her head.

"Of course." Suzaku might have had reason not to care, but he still wanted to help his friend. _Plus, I'm worried about my mission. Please don't get your memories back …_

Suzaku quietly returned to his meal, as he didn't want to bother him and trigger any more headaches. Especially with people watching them …

Lelouch also ate quietly, thankful to have Suzaku there beside him. It helped remind Lelouch to focus on the present, as the memory of his vision threatened a worse headache each time he returned to it. Lelouch realized he was still trembling, the ice clinking loudly in his glass when he went to get a sip of water.

He nearly spilled it on Suzaku, and in an effort to prevent that, Lelouch accidentally inhaled some lemon water. He choked, coughing with his mouth closed until he put down his drink to get his napkin.

Sayoko snapped up out of her chair, but Lelouch waved her off.

"I — I'm fine! F-fine — don't w-worry." _I'm pathetic._

Suzaku gazed at Lelouch again, really concerned. He stood and moved the drink back so it wouldn't spill, placing his hand on Lelouch's.

_You're shaking,_ Suzaku noticed. _Probably from earlier._ Suzaku held Lelouch's hand tighter. "Are you sure you're alright?"

_Suzaku's warm. He's here._ Lelouch took a deep breath, focusing on the sensation of Suzaku's steady hand over his weak one. _Suzaku._ "I … I'll get over it, probably," he said. "I get headaches often … I just need to rest and maybe take a shower or something. Thanks."

"I'll draw up a bath for you and make you some tea before bed," Suzaku said.

A part of Suzaku felt like he owed Lelouch for being so friendly and understanding and helpful lately. And the other part of him was concerned about his headaches … and his memories. Maybe this would help clear his mind and forget.

Suzaku took away his hand after a moment, feeling warmer. He'd done that without thinking. Blushing, Suzaku went to clear his dish and get on the tasks he'd set out to do for him.

_You really don't have to do anything. You're tired._ I'm _supposed to be helping_ you _._ But Lelouch said none of those things. The truth was, he appreciated it … and he knew helping him was getting Suzaku's mind off of things. Lelouch didn't want to take that distraction away, and if he was entirely honest …

_Suzaku is about to make a bath for me._ Lelouch sensed that it was an honor beyond any. _I bet many girls would be jealous._ The thought had him chuckling even as he finished his food.

Sayoko must have come to the same conclusion because she did not offer to help Suzaku and instead started on the dishes. Lelouch pushed out of his chair, walking to the bathroom to wash his hands and face and see what Suzaku was up to.

True to his word, Suzaku had been making sure the bathwater was a good temperature and adding bubbles and bath salts to the mix. He paused when Lelouch entered.

"I hope this is alright. Do you need anything else?" Suzaku asked.

"A stroke of good luck," Lelouch responded with a soft grin. "Another headache like that, and I might pass out in the tub. Hope I don't drown." It was a joke — mostly — but Lelouch did still feel his headache throbbing faintly.

Suzaku frowned, worried. "Shall I come to check up on you then? Make sure you are okay?"

Lelouch might get another headache, so Suzaku felt it was part of his mission to do this. He also wanted to be a worthy friend to make up for all his sins.

"I'll return to check up on you in a few minutes, with fresh clothes and a towel," Suzaku decided before he could answer.

_I was joking._ "Ah, alright. Thanks so much, Suzaku," Lelouch said warmly. "I appreciate all of this."

"You're welcome. I'll leave you to it. Relax and try to forget about the headaches, and hopefully they'll go away." Suzaku left to make tea and fetch Lelouch a change of clothes.

While Suzaku was busy, Lelouch shut the door and decided he would get in the tub while it was hot. He stripped, aware of the danger of Suzaku popping in, but managed to get in the water before he did.

The bubbles smelled fresh but not overpowering, the water relaxing on Lelouch's skin. He sank into it comfortably, leaning on the edge with his elbows, and shut his eyes. It was lonely but peaceful. His headache was definitely going away.

_Suzaku's an incredible person._ Lelouch smiled with his eyes still closed, splashing water on his face. _He cares so much. I should stop doubting our friendship … He holds back because he's worried about hurting me. And his position._ Lelouch sighed again, eyes peeking to look at the door. Looking for Suzaku. _I'm so lucky, aren't I?_

Meanwhile, Suzaku prepared the tea and walked into Lelouch's bedroom to grab him some fresh clothes. He found the drawer for his nighttime clothes and folded them in his arms.

_He's my friend. And this is nice, taking care of him. Keeps my mind away from work, from responsibility._ It was a carefree feeling that reminded Suzaku of the summer they had met. _(The summer he doesn't remember.)_

Suzaku knocked on the bathroom door to let Lelouch know he was going to enter. He opened the door to the warm, humid air that smelled of soap and bath salts. "Your clothes, Lelouch," he said, placing the pile nicely down on the counter.

He didn't want to look at him, to respect his privacy, but Suzaku felt the urge rise until he could hold back no more. He briefly glanced over at his friend.

Lelouch sat in the same position, legs crossed, and his face flushed from the heat. His arms were spread confidently, an effort to show he was alright, but it made him feel more vulnerable than if he had just covered up. If not for the bubbles, Suzaku would have been able to see his lower body at the angle he was standing.

Lelouch smirked against his better judgment. Suzaku appeared obviously flustered. "I appreciate it," Lelouch said.

While it wasn't much, Suzaku noticed the intimacy between the two of them. Lelouch appeared comfortable with allowing him in the bathroom, a level of vulnerability there. Suzaku's eyes never wandered, despite a few thoughts he had to suppress, and he nodded, face burning. "You're welcome."

"Oh, Suzaku, I never did finish what I wanted to say about Shirley. I thought maybe when you get some free time, we could go looking for gifts together. We have a week or so to prepare."

At the mention of Shirley, Suzaku hesitated and flashed him a smile. "Shopping sounds great …"

But Suzaku's chest twisted once again, unsure what his offer meant. Maybe he'd just have to …

"Lelouch, do you like Shirley?" he blurted against his better judgment, but he needed to know.

Lelouch huffed a laugh, his blush deepening. He wasn't sure if being confronted by his best friend or if the question itself was more embarrassing. _What, do you have a crush on her?_ He didn't think that was why Suzaku asked, but Lelouch wasn't sure he wanted to entertain the thought.

"I see Shirley as a friend," Lelouch answered. He turned, leaning on one arm and facing Suzaku. "Everyone knows she has feelings for me, but I haven't been able to bring it up to her that I don't feel the same. I enjoy her friendship, and I feel like she may try to distance herself if I refuse her. So, yes, Suzaku. I like Shirley. Maybe enough to be a bit selfish and not tell her that I _only_ like her."

His answer was satisfying enough, and Suzaku relaxed a bit. _That's good._ He wasn't sure why that had been bothering him. Or he knew but banished the thought too quickly.

"I understand. Thank you. Sorry if that was rude." Suzaku paused before saying anything more. "We can still go shopping. I would like that. I need to buy a few things anyway."

_A few mundane household things. But maybe I'll buy you something. A gift for helping me._

"Rude? Not at all. You can always be open with me," Lelouch said, nodding at the mention of Suzaku's plan. The blush on Lelouch's cheeks faded, but the relief on Suzaku's face was unmistakable. If Suzaku didn't like Shirley, then … Lelouch cleared his throat. "Yeah. Anyway, that sounds good. But if you're asking out of curiosity, I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I'd rather work on myself and spend time with friends. Like you."

"Ah?" Suzaku paused, a strange joy filling him. "That's a great idea. I'm glad you're using your time in a healthy manner."

Suzaku wished he could be more open with Lelouch. Suzaku would speak more of his feelings and misdeeds if he could. Unfortunately, every time he tried, he triggered a headache, which could possibly lead to Zero regaining his memories. _For your sake and mine, I can't open up much to you, Lelouch._

Lelouch smiled back. "Well, it's partially thanks to you. You inspire me to keep improving every time I see you. Without you, I doubt I'd be able to try as hard with the things I do."

Suzaku was at a loss for words. _That was really sweet._ He gazed at his friend's beautiful violet eyes and grinned. "A-ah, thank you … You also inspire me. To be a better friend. Especially considering the mistakes I've made in the past."

_I do?_ Lelouch found that hard to believe, surprise tickling his insides. And … hope. Just a tiny bit of hope. "Guess I'm doing something right, then."

"Yes," Suzaku said and stepped back towards the door. "Feel better, Lelouch."

"Will do."

Suzaku closed the door behind him, feeling free of sorrow for the first time in a while.


	4. Chapter 4

**White Knight AU 4**

Four days passed before Suzaku finally had time to go shopping, which meant Lelouch had to finish his homework during the rowdy Student Council study session. Milly kept sneaking ways for Lelouch to interact with Shirley, but in the end, he got away without letting her figure out he was getting her a gift.

Lelouch packed his things, waiting for Suzaku to join him in the hall. Suzaku had been so busy with school and his Knight duties that this was the first and last chance they'd probably have to go together. Shirley's birthday was just around the corner.

"Hey," Lelouch said when Suzaku caught up to him. "Ready to go?"

Suzaku slung his bag over his shoulder, green eyes bright. "Yes. I need an afternoon off anyway."

"Good. I'll try to make the shopping as painless as possible," Lelouch said, walking ahead so he could grin to himself. The truth was … he was excited.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. Shopping's not so bad with friends," Suzaku said. _They'll be watching us. I'll have to be careful with what I say … No more headaches._

Lelouch continued to lead the way.

The shopping center was about three blocks down from Ashford Academy. Nearby, people went about their daily lives, Britannian citizens casually passing by Elevens trying to sell goods on the market-front. Above their heads was a giant flat-screen TV used for broadcast announcements. It played an advertisement for a new video game set.

Lelouch stopped at the entryway of the mall, turning back to see if Suzaku was still there. "I'd like to see about going to the bookstore if we have time," Lelouch said.

Suzaku, of course, was still there. He wouldn't have left his side unless it was necessary. "Alright," he said. "I would like to stop at the grocery store, especially if you want to keep making meals together."

Other than that, Suzaku would be looking for a gift for Shirley, but also Lelouch … If he could hide it from him. Or maybe he'd give it to him on the spot here. He wasn't sure what he would get him yet anyways.

_Grocery shopping?_ Lelouch couldn't say he was planning to spend more than two hours at the mall, including dinner, but he didn't mind preparing for more meals with Suzaku.

Lelouch walked beside Suzaku this time, starting clockwise around the complex. Ahead, people were gathered around a food court and the surrounding stores.

Lelouch glanced around. _I wonder if Shirley would be fine with just anything I get her …_

Suzaku enjoyed the company, even if it was silent. He looked at all the cool things in the windows, still trying to think of something, _anything_ , to get Lelouch or Shirley.

Lelouch noticed the women's clothing store ahead — but he figured it would be best to get Shirley something she didn't already have. He turned to Suzaku. "I want to get her something useful like a nice lamp or a journal set. What do you think?"

Suzaku was snapped from his own thoughts by Lelouch's question. "Sounds good. Maybe a journal. I've seen her writing in one before. Maybe she'd like another," Suzaku suggested.

"Yes, you're probably right." Lelouch passed a clothing shop, nearly breathing a sigh of relief that they wouldn't have to go in there. He slowed near the bookstore he had been hoping to visit, and they went inside.

The bookstore was moderately sized and stocked with many novels and trinkets. Lelouch went to the side where they kept the composition supplies. On the way, his eyes scanned the shelves for a particular book he'd been planning to purchase.

"Oh, they have a decent selection." Lelouch touched the cover of a decorated journal, embroidered flowers and designs woven into it. "I feel like I would like this if I were a girl."

Suzaku nodded in approval. "I think Shirley would like it. But it's also more about your friendship than the item itself."

"That's true."

"Yeah, you think about it. I'm going to look over there," Suzaku said. "Meet you at checkout."

"Sure." Lelouch pondered a few more journals, in deep thought, then went back to the flower one.

A glint from a small shelf of bookmarks and pins across the store had caught Suzaku's attention. He approached it, scanning the items there.

Two things stood out to him. A flower bookmark that would be a perfect match for the journal Lelouch looked at. And … a tiny chess pin. A black king.

_Zero was the king of his Black Knights._ Suzaku was no chess player, but he'd played against Lelouch for over a year now. Zero was a coward who hid behind his subjects, gave orders, made sacrifices all for himself.

It stirred something in Suzaku, but that was exactly why his hand moved towards it. Why his fingers caressed the piece, considered it.

Suzaku wanted to reclaim Zero's tainted image on Lelouch. He wanted to remind himself that he was in control now, that Zero didn't have to destroy the boy underneath the mask.

Suzaku wanted to remind himself that he had someone to protect.

It would be a representation of what Suzaku was fighting against … and also a step towards forgiveness.

_These are perfect._ Suzaku picked up the pin and bookmark and went to the checkout line.

Lelouch had gotten a glimpse of the shelf Suzaku looked at, but he instead tried to remember if Shirley had ever played chess. He thought about it, recalling one time Lelouch defeated Rivalz in a game, and Shirley clapped for him. When Lelouch asked if she wanted to play, she'd been called to help a classmate with something. Lelouch never did ask again.

Lelouch took the flower journal as well as a set of colorful pens off the shelf. He considered getting Shirley something else too, but he felt good about it.

At one point, Lelouch also found the book he was looking for and set that on the counter as well. Lelouch thanked the cashier after he purchased the items, then met Suzaku, who was waiting for him nearby.

"I hope this will be okay," Lelouch voiced. "Maybe I should buy something else too."

"I think she'll like it." Suzaku stepped in front of Lelouch, smiling softly. "Actually, I wanted to give you something too. For being a good friend and spending time with me."

"Oh?"

Suzaku had the chess pin in his hand. Carefully, he pinned it to Lelouch's collar. "I know you like chess, so …" _So maybe this way we can be close again someday soon._

Suzaku's fingers lingered at Lelouch's neck, the warmth between them feeling more real than before. Lelouch's adoring expression made Suzaku's cheeks burn, but even then, he stayed, making sure to secure the pin.

After a moment, Suzaku slowly backed away. "I hope you like it."

_Oh, so that —_ Lelouch glanced down at the chess pin: a king piece wrought in shining black. _This was for me._ Fitting. A wonderful gift. _Better than what I got Shirley._

Lelouch touched the pin, his gratitude overflowing. It wasn't Lelouch's birthday, yet Suzaku bought him something, even went as far as to put it on for him. The intimacy was undeniable. It sent Lelouch's insides in a frenzy of disbelief.

Despite the close quarters of the store, Lelouch closed the distance between them and pulled Suzaku into a hug, his bag hanging from his elbow. "I like it," Lelouch said. "Thanks."

Suzaku was surprised by the sudden contact, but he couldn't help but melt into the embrace. _He's so warm and close …_ "You're welcome, Lelouch."

Lelouch didn't want to pull away. Love for his friend engulfed him, but under all that, he wanted to cry. He squeezed Suzaku tighter for one short moment, memorizing the feeling. _I wish you didn't have to leave all the time. I wish we could stay together like this. I'm happy when I'm with you._ Lelouch held Suzaku for that moment, banished the desperation from his gaze, and let go.

Friends shouldn't hold each other for long unless something called for it, after all. Lelouch didn't want to worry him.

_Maybe he's as lonely as I am …_ Suzaku hadn't considered it before, but as Zero, Lelouch must have felt isolated without being able to confide in Suzaku. _If that's the case, maybe I do need to support him now as much as I can._

"Yeah. It's a thoughtful gift," Lelouch said, "considering you still haven't played me in chess."

Suzaku smiled, his insides warm after the hug. _He means the game. Now all Lelouch wants is my company, not revenge._ "Well, I'll have to take you up on that offer sometime."

"Really? I'd love to play you!" Lelouch's expression brightened. "I could even teach you some strategies if you want. You never seemed that interested in learning the game before, so I'm surprised."

Lelouch could gush on about chess for hours, and he would if Suzaku — or the crowd trying to check out — didn't stop him. They left the store, getting out of the way. _We might be able to go grocery shopping now that we've got some gifts._

Suzaku was still grinning as he walked back into the main hallway of the mall with him. "I would appreciate you teaching me to play," he said. "If playing chess means more time we can spend together, I'm more than willing."

While they walked through the mall, a familiar girl with a shopping bag was sitting on a bench nearby. _Kallen._

Suzaku noticed her first and politely waved at her, stopping next to the bench. "Hello, also decided to do some shopping?"

Kallen nodded and glanced between Suzaku and Lelouch. "Yes … There were a few things I needed to buy," she murmured with a small smile.

Lelouch was busy replaying Suzaku's blessed words in his mind. So busy, in fact, that he did not realize his classmate was there until Suzaku spoke to her. He — Lelouch remembered her from last year, but he didn't recall seeing her this year.

Also, something about her face … made his head start hurting. He averted his gaze and chose not to talk to her.

The people around the jewelry store nearby suddenly parted. A broad-shouldered man sauntered his way through, scowling and shoving through the crowd. Some passersby looked afraid, but he seemed to be just inherently unpleasant and not a robber or anything, as no one was particularly alarmed.

But the man certainly had a way of intimidating others, judging by the malevolent glare he was shooting Lelouch.

_Wait. Why is he —?_

"You good-for-nothing brat!" the man shouted, picking up his pace. "It _is_ you —"

Suzaku swiftly stepped in front of Lelouch. He'd made the move to protect him instinctively, and he was ready to fight if needed. He didn't want to cause a commotion in the mall, so Suzaku would hold back unless there was a real threat.

Kallen, on the other hand, had a much different idea than Suzaku. She stepped off the bench and approached the man with an innocent smile. "Is something wrong, sir?"

"E-er —" the man trailed off stupidly.

Suzaku immediately recognized her distraction and tried to lead Lelouch away from the scene.

Lelouch let Suzaku tug him into the crowd, but the man's gaze snapped to him in recognition, obvious by the way his grimace grew three sizes. Lelouch pressed closer to Suzaku, body trembling slightly in fear. _He knows me — He hates me; how can he —?_

The man said something to Kallen about boys who cheat at games, but his expression softened, and he made no move to follow.

_How does he know me?_ Lelouch bit his lip.

"I'm so sorry, sir. Maybe you should get some tea?" Kallen suggested, making sure he was still distracted while the boys left.

Suzaku hid Lelouch in another shop further down the hall. _I'll have to thank Kallen later, that was really kind and smart of her._ Once away from the door, Suzaku turned to his friend. "Are you okay?"

Lelouch was gripping Suzaku's arm tightly, but he didn't notice until Suzaku spoke to him. "He knew me," Lelouch muttered, letting go. "I don't think he was lying."

Suzaku didn't know who that man was, so he couldn't exactly answer him. After all, he'd spent more time trying to fight Zero than be Lelouch's classmate …

"Maybe. I don't know. Let's head back, alright?" Suzaku placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

_Who was he?_ Lelouch's fists clenched as they walked out, his head hurting from the thought. The man didn't work for Ashford Academy, and Lelouch wasn't very well acquainted with anyone outside of school …

Lelouch held his breath as pain flashed through him, another vision of — _a chessboard?_ — and then he was leaning against Suzaku without realizing it. "S-sorry. I — headache again."

_Another headache?_ Suzaku frowned. He hadn't said anything this time about anything he should keep hidden … Lelouch lurched, and Suzaku supported him so he wouldn't fall.

"It's okay. Do you need to sit down?" Suzaku asked. "Or go straight home?"

Suddenly, the TVs in the mall all changed to a news report. _"A year has passed since Zero, the terrorist leader of the Black Knights, died. The Britannian military—"_

Suzaku tensed. _Really? Now of all times?_ They needed to get out of the mall and fast.

Reports on Zero had never bothered Lelouch before. But as they left, he caught a glimpse of Kallen, the strange man, and the Zero report all at once, and Lelouch's mind exploded in pain.

Lelouch cried out. He would have fallen to his knees if Suzaku hadn't been supporting him.

_Everything burns._

_Why?_

_Why does this feel familiar?_

_It hurts._

"Su-zaku … i-it hurts," Lelouch choked, tears stinging his eyes.

Suzaku lifted Lelouch into his arms and hurried as fast as he could out of the mall. People stared, but Suzaku was the Knight of Seven — no one would get in his way. It wasn't difficult for Suzaku, given all his training, and how skinny and light his friend actually was. He ran straight back towards Ashford Academy, careful not to jostle Lelouch.

"Shh, it's okay. I'll get you some ice and medicine …" Suzaku murmured, trying not to panic.

They made it back without incident, Suzaku's breathing still steady. But Lelouch didn't seem any better … _He needs to rest._

Lelouch gazed at Shirley's gifts beside the door as they passed. It was much easier than looking at Suzaku or focusing on the throbbing torture in his head.

Even Suzaku's presence was burning him.

"You'll be okay," Suzaku repeated, this time not so sure. He let Lelouch down on his bed, carefully pulling the sheets aside.

Lelouch whimpered quietly.

The visions wouldn't stop.

_Kallen beside a Knightmare, her hair wild and free._

_Suzaku walking away from Lelouch in the dark of an underground shelter._

_A middle-aged man pacing the floor of a casino, Rivalz laughing and clapping Lelouch on the back._

_A woman with green hair and amber eyes, her lips pulling away from his, the rush of a storm in the air —_

Lelouch clutched the covers, turning his back to Suzaku, and curled into himself. The tears wouldn't stop either. He could barely breathe.

_Shirley on her knees, her hands bunched in Lelouch's jacket._

_A girl with a sweet face and gentle brown hair, folding paper cranes —_

Lelouch sucked in a breath. _It doesn't make sense! Nothing makes sense!_ What were those visions? _Why won't they stop?_

"G-go away …"

It hurt Suzaku to see his friend so upset and in so much pain. _He's really not doing well …_

Briefly, Suzaku left to get a wet towel for him. Sayoko was back, so Suzaku asked her to get medicine and help prepare some tea.

Suzaku returned with a box of tissues, placing the cool cloth on Lelouch's forehead. But other than that, Suzaku felt useless. There wasn't much he could do.

The cloth helped only a little bit. It grounded Lelouch in the moment, relieved the blistering sensation underneath his skin. _Something inside of me is breaking free._ Lelouch didn't know where the thought came from, but resignation settled in the pit of his stomach.

The visions continued, though they began to die off. They were random, unrelated images, none of which lined up with the real world. Lelouch dug his fingers into the sheets and waited it out.

"Sorry, Suzaku …" Lelouch huffed, panting against the pillows. "I was looking forward to grocery shopping with you …"

Suzaku sat on the edge of the bed, watching him. "It's okay … Save your breath." They could go grocery shopping another time.

Lelouch glanced at him, conflict raging in his gaze. _Don't leave me. Suzaku._

Suzaku placed his hand over his, giving him a squeeze. "Get some rest."

Lelouch was quiet after that, breathing heavily but feeling better. His brain decided to spare him the visions, muddying with drowsiness. Selfishly, he pulled Suzaku's hand closer to him, the contact helping him relax.

"Thanks," Lelouch whispered.

Suzaku blushed and didn't move for a long time as Lelouch fell asleep. At one point, Sayoko brought the tea, setting it on the desk. But even then, Suzaku didn't leave.

Not this time.

As his best friend's breathing slowly steadied, Lelouch's hand loosening in his, Suzaku managed a smile. The black chess pin glinted gently, a part of Zero, a part of him.

When Lelouch fell asleep, Suzaku took it off of him with a sigh, setting the pin on the desk with the tea.

Suzaku hesitated only a moment longer. "Goodnight, Lelouch."


	5. Chapter 5

**White Knight AU 5**

Shirley's birthday landed on a Saturday. Lelouch and Suzaku wrapped her presents the day before. Milly said that she would text Lelouch when to meet Shirley, but Suzaku was called off for knightly business fifteen minutes prior.

_**[Milly]:**_ _Shirley's waiting for you at the park by the cafe square~_

Lelouch picked up his gifts, leaving Suzaku's where it was, and texted him.

_**[Lelouch]:** _ _Hey, Milly said Shirley will be waiting at the park by the cafe. I'm going to meet her now if that's alright._

Suzaku had been called for an emergency meeting, so he had to rush off to the school instead. He briefly glanced at his messages and typed one back.

_**[Suzaku]:**_ _Okay, see you soon._

Suzaku stepped into the meeting room, forcing the worry from his face. The headaches were sure to come up.

Even worse.

"Headaches" was the first word to escape Villetta's mouth.

She was sitting this time, speaking into a wireless headpiece. Villetta hadn't been addressing him, but she turned away from the screens following Lelouch when Suzaku entered the room.

"Kururugi, you know why you're here."

"Yes, ma'am." Suzaku nodded, though he wasn't entirely sure how to phrase everything. "I'm worried about Lelouch's health. These migraines … Losing his memories may have a real cost to him." Still, he wasn't sure if it was because Lelouch had lost memories or regained them …

"This is not the first time he's been through this," Villetta said. "Worst case, we'll have to try another approach. But I sense we're getting closer to finding C.C."

_I don't think you are closer to finding her. We haven't seen her in months._ Suzaku didn't say anything of the sort aloud. It was the mission, so he wasn't going to argue or object. _And I'm not sure I want any changes._

"Our scout was intercepted by a taxi line!" one of the men said.

Villetta tapped on the keyboard, and the view shifted to the park where Shirley was waiting. Lelouch could be seen approaching in the distance. "Send the scout to route A100-X421," Villetta said. "Call in reinforcements to watch the point at J19."

"Understood!"

Villetta pushed away from the desk, spinning in her chair to face Suzaku. Her frown was disappointed. "I feel as though you're allowing your feelings to get in the way of the mission."

"I —" Suzaku started, closing his mouth. A rush of heat and embarrassment washed through him. _She has a point._ He had been.

And yet, there was no regret, no guilt. His friend was important to him.

"I feel that's irrelevant," Suzaku said. "I have been watching Lelouch and keeping an eye out for C.C. He may have headaches, but there are no signs of Zero returning. If anything, my feelings have allowed me to become closer to him."

Suzaku felt his insides flipping. Why? Why was he entertaining these thoughts?

_What other option do I have?_

"If C.C. had any attachment to Zero, she might even get jealous," he said. "I can lure her out."

Villetta's lip quirked. " _You_ lure her out? How do you intend to do that?"

Suzaku smiled, ignoring his nervousness. "As I said, my relationship with Lelouch may be enough. She's been called Zero's mistress before …"

Suzaku didn't want to think about what that meant. They were only rumors, but he wanted this to be a lie more than ever.

"That being said, it would be beneficial for me to monitor his headaches up close. And to do that … these feelings can only help." Suzaku's heart raced, images of losing Euphy flooding his mind, images of the regret on Lelouch's face, images of his best friend's hopeful smiles. _I can't lose you._

His next sentence made his knees feel weak, but Suzaku held strong. He had to go through with it. _I want to go through with this._

"And, well, if I'm going to become Zero's boyfriend, I highly doubt you want to hear or see anything in the bedroom."

Suzaku probably did not imagine the rigid stiffening of the OSI members in earshot while they "focused" on their task. Villetta seemed the stiffest, utterly repulsed — but she also did not seem surprised. No one should have been, not if they had truly been watching Lelouch and Suzaku.

If Villetta considered the possibility of his statement being a joke or a bluff, it did not show.

She shrugged. "A _fitting_ pair. I don't see why I should refuse, especially when you're so _perfect for each other_ ," Villetta spat. Her lip curled disdainfully, but she disabled their bedroom cameras anyway. "Why not? A little degeneracy makes the world go round. I expect results, or I'll have this reported directly to the emperor."

"Yes. Thank you, ma'am." Suzaku kept his voice steady. Most of that had been a play for more privacy, but it wasn't a complete lie.

Suzaku definitely felt _something_ for his friend, something that made it impossible to let go of him.

However, Suzaku had no intention of sleeping with him for the mission. If Suzaku did, it would be by his own choice and of his own feelings. _Nobody deserves to be used in that way._

Zero might have thought about his loved ones as pawns for his stupid game, but Suzaku wasn't like him. Suzaku wouldn't use his friend in a game to lure C.C. If she showed up, that would be her own fault, not his.

By now, Shirley and Lelouch had met up. On the screen, Lelouch said something to her, and she immediately went into a frenzy of awkwardness. Her blush was obvious even with the poor quality of the security camera.

"If you don't leave now, someone might steal your _beloved_ prince's heart," Villetta deadpanned.

Suzaku took that as his cue to leave. Despite his words earlier being hollow, he found himself hurrying to meet them.

After Lelouch's confession in the bathroom, Suzaku wasn't particularly worried about Shirley, though. And Lelouch probably thought the same of him …

Suzaku grabbed his present for Shirley on his way to the park. Thanks to the cameras and the text, he knew where they were and walked over.

Lelouch was standing uncomfortably beside the bench, doing his best to hide the annoyance boiling in his chest. Shirley was next to him, looking mortified, and hugged her gifts to her chest.

While Suzaku was at the meeting, Lelouch discovered the hard way that this was one of Milly's schemes. As it turned out, Shirley's birthday was actually in July. The entire get-together had been an attempt to set them up. _I feel guilty that she was hoping for a date with me. Now she'll feel bad for troubling us …_

"Hey," Suzaku said. "Happy birthday, Shirley!"

"Suzaku, there you are!" Lelouch said, looking over.

"Hey, Suzaku …" Shirley murmured.

"Hey. I got you a present too." Suzaku handed her the wrapped bookmarks he'd gotten her.

Shirley accepted it, smiling kindly. "Thank you."

"Sorry about um … interrupting this. Lelouch said you were here, so I figured when I could, I would bring you your present," Suzaku said. "I hope you like it."

Lelouch nodded at Suzaku, hoping to convince him it was okay. _But it's not about me._ "We went together to pick gifts for you," Lelouch explained.

"Thank you. It was very sweet of both of you," Shirley said. "Um … Suzaku, I hope you don't mind, but I really wanted to uh … tell Lelouch something. In private."

Suzaku hesitated, mostly because he'd wanted to break them apart, but he had to trust Lelouch. "Of course."

Stamping down his nervousness, Suzaku walked out of earshot. He'd take a stroll around the park … and hope everything goes well.

Lelouch's nerves spiked when Suzaku left. _But Shirley deserves to speak her mind._ As much as he didn't want to confront Shirley about her feelings, it was inevitable if he wanted to stay friends with her.

Lelouch ran a finger through his bangs and turned to her, sighing with a soft grin. "Yes?"

Shirley couldn't look at him. She shifted on her feet, flushing red to the tips of her ears. "I uh … Lulu, I really like you. I was hoping to um." She squeezed her gifts tighter to herself. "That we could um, go out to the movies one time? Just us. On a … On a date?"

_Here we go._ Lelouch paused, fumbling for words that refused to come. He opened his mouth, closed it, took a deep breath, then looked into Shirley's expectant — yet hopeless eyes. _She thinks I'll say no._

_Was_ he going to say no? After Shirley's father died, Lelouch pitied her too much to deny her, so he'd avoided it.

But was it fair to her to lead her on when his heart wasn't in it?

"Shirley," Lelouch said, taking her hand in his so she would look at him, "I have to be honest with you. I — I don't want a girlfriend right now. Please understand, Shirley. You're very special to me. I just …"

"O-oh …" Shirley's disappointment was clear in her eyes. She blinked away her tears. "I understand. Sorry that I assumed …"

"Shirley —" Lelouch cut himself off, holding in the sorry, holding back what he wanted to say. The last time Shirley had been sad, Lelouch … he had … _Headache. No. Not now._ "Shirley — we can go to the movies together some other time. But — now I —"

Lelouch released Shirley's hand, having been a second away from squeezing her too hard. Her sad face reminded him of — _Not now._

Shirley backed away from him. "Lulu, it's okay. I'll see you in class."

She smiled sadly before running off, wiping her tears.

Lelouch waited where he was, hanging his head. He sighed long and hard, tensing not only from stress but pain as well.

His headache had returned, a burning sensation at the back of his eyes. Though with Shirley running off, it seemed to be weakening. _I'm sorry, Shirley._

Suzaku had stopped on the other end of the park but approached Lelouch when he saw them part. _I hope she'll be okay …_

Immediately, Suzaku noticed he was in pain. "Are you okay?"

"I'm a jerk," Lelouch answered. His head snapped up; he ignored how dizzy it made him feel. "I've played with her feelings for so long, and I _still_ couldn't give her a straight answer."

"She should be fine. Shirley's an amazingly strong and upbeat girl," Suzaku reassured. "It's also hard to voice your feelings correctly." He was speaking from experience. He couldn't even say half of his feelings to Lelouch.

"This — I can't even blame Milly because this is _my_ fault!" Lelouch groaned, grumpily plopping down on the bench. He crossed his arms, sighing again. "Let me wallow, Suzaku. I need to take a moment to hate myself."

Suzaku hesitated. Part of him wanted to respect his wishes and give him space, but he wanted to support him anyway. He opted for a compromise. He took a seat next to him in silence.

Suzaku would be there for comfort if needed, but he wouldn't talk or do anything else. He would take the time to think.

_At least the meeting went well. But now I have no idea what I really want._

His feelings were confusing, so much so he ignored them most of the time. Suzaku knew he cared deeply about Lelouch, a bond of loyalty between friends. But he often wondered if it ran deeper than that.

Living together for so long brought them closer, and every day he'd help him. They'd make dinner together and study.

_Family?_ Maybe it was less friendship-love and more familial-love? Suzaku had no clue, but whatever it was, he felt love in his chest every time he thought about him.

Lelouch brooded for a good five to ten minutes, looking dark and tortured enough that a few passersby noticed. A group of girls gave Lelouch curious stares, recognized Suzaku, and then decided to keep walking.

Lelouch didn't care, internally beating himself up for not having double-checked Shirley's birthday, for not having planned his words more carefully, for not having it in him to like her back.

Because really, why _didn't_ Lelouch like Shirley back? She was kind, funny, loyal, a hard worker … Shirley above everyone _should_ have sparked an interest in Lelouch. _But I'm selfish. I want more. I want something else. I don't know what I want._

Lelouch didn't. Every time he thought about what his heart desired, he was met with confusion, mixed feelings, and a worsening headache. _And Suzaku._ Strangely, his mind kept returning to Suzaku. Whatever Lelouch wanted … had to do with Suzaku.

"I'm horrible," Lelouch said conclusively. "The very worst."

Suzaku looked over at him. "Don't say that, Lelouch. You're not horrible," Suzaku said. "You're brilliant. And kind. You support everyone. The Student Council study sessions are a success thanks to you. You help me. You care about your friends."

"And yet I manage to make Shirley cry," Lelouch said. "And yet I can't do anything but sit here and get angry while she's having what could be the second-worst day of her life."

"I still think Shirley will be okay. She's smart. She'll understand that things didn't work out, and you guys can still be friends."

"Ugh. Suzaku …" Lelouch let his arms hang limply from the back of the bench. He laughed mirthlessly. "You care about everyone. You're the Knight of Seven, but you're sitting on a park bench, reminding a schoolboy how foolish he is. You're naturally good-hearted. Who's to say I deserve this care?"

Suzaku put a hand on his shoulder. "But you're my best friend, so I care about you more than I do others. You're a great person and an even greater friend." He smiled. "So, yes, you deserve this. And more. Don't think so low of yourself."

Lelouch watched him without speaking. They were sitting so close, genuine affection in Suzaku's gaze, in the way his hand hugged Lelouch's shoulder. With a blush, Lelouch allowed himself to smile. "Alright," he consented.

_That's better. Now you're more like yourself._ Suzaku slowly pulled away. "Now, is your head alright?"

"Not really. It's not as bad this time, but I've been getting a lot of headaches lately. Every little thing seems to trigger them," Lelouch said. He missed Suzaku's touch but didn't mention it. "Also … I never told you, but I keep having these weird visions that don't make any sense."

Suzaku needed to stop him. He gave him a look. _Please … Not now._ He pleaded with Lelouch silently, green eyes burning. "You must be having really weird dreams." Suzaku chuckled. "Let's get you back to your room for some rest and studying okay?"

_Follow my lead …_

Lelouch did not understand what put Suzaku in such a state of urgency. Regardless, Lelouch went silent, realizing he should stop. "Okay." _Do the visions mean something to you? Is there something you know that I don't?_

Lelouch stood from the bench, holding in the questions. He hoped Suzaku would explain once they returned to the clubhouse.

Suzaku should be able to talk to him in the bedroom, but to make it seem less suspicious … "We really do need to study. And then we can do something _fun_ to ease your pain if you like." Suzaku winked at him. It would be clear to Villetta what they'd be doing in his room.

Lelouch's face flushed, but he wasn't sure why. _Huh? Did Suzaku …?_

In hindsight, that had been a very suggestive grin. Lelouch tried not to think about it too much.

Again, Lelouch took the lead to hide the fact that his face was burning.

Suzaku didn't seem to mind, his own cheeks burning as he walked behind him. _Just for the show. I wouldn't …_ He shook the thoughts away and followed Lelouch back to their place.

Lelouch said nothing until they got home.

Lelouch's mind was buzzing with questions that he kept clamped shut. He grabbed his backpack on the way, unconvinced Suzaku wanted to "study", but went to his room nonetheless.

Lelouch cast one confused glance back at Suzaku before he went in. _What is this all about?_

Suzaku picked up his bag and followed Lelouch into his bedroom. He shut the door and sighed.

"Sorry," Suzaku said. "There are a lot of things I won't be able to tell you for the sake of our safety. We can't have a serious conversation when people could be watching."

Suzaku stared down at his hands. _What am I doing? Do I really not care about the mission?_

He forced himself to look at his friend.

"Lelouch, you're important to me. I suppose now, more than my job." Suzaku shook his head. That didn't matter. "Can you explain what these visions are?"

Was Lelouch getting his memories back? Suzaku needed to know. _What will I do? If Zero returns, I …_

Lelouch sat on the bed, his backpack resting between his knees. _People were watching us? It's dangerous?_ He forced himself to relax, though his eyes briefly scanned the room and the windows. _People at the park? Outside here? The military? Or …?_

But Lelouch heard the tenderness of Suzaku's voice, a sort of transparency Lelouch hadn't heard from him before. _And he thinks I'm important._ Lelouch smiled tentatively.

"These visions are things that don't line up with what I know are facts. Things like me … being on a battlefield or interacting with people I know I've never had the chance to meet," Lelouch said. _Things like fighting you._

"A battlefield?" Suzaku echoed, but it made sense. _Zero fought a lot …_ His stomach churned with acid. _So … it's true? Some things have returned …_

Suzaku didn't want to hold back secrets, but he was afraid. Afraid of Zero. Afraid of what the OSI would say.

If he held back information from Lelouch and Zero came back, would he be mad at him for keeping secrets? For playing him?

_Why do I care if he's mad at me?_

Suzaku wasn't sure, but he wasn't happy in the slightest. "Did you see anything else? Anything specific?"

_Princess Euphemia. And a girl with brown hair that hurts to look at._ Lelouch pulled his legs onto the bed.

"There are a lot of things I saw. So many horrible things. And some good things too," Lelouch said. "A lot of visions had to do with the royals of Britannia. Hatred. And some good visions of a childhood with … a girl. Brown hair, blinded eyes, a sweet face. She was paralyzed, but I helped her. It was her, me, and … and you."

Suzaku gazed at him for a moment, and he felt tears well up. "Nunnally …" He missed her too. It was hard at first … when he was assigned to live with Lelouch … in her room. "I …" Suzaku looked away, trying to clear his vision. "I miss those days."

_Wait._ Lelouch sat straighter. He hesitated, watching Suzaku with a sinking feeling in his chest. _Nunnally._ That name was a bullet shooting into Lelouch's skull. He hissed, panting suddenly from the sheer torture of forcing himself to stay seated.

Lelouch collapsed onto the bed, unable to fight the pain. _Nunnally._

"I — I … h-headache —" Lelouch buried his face into the pillow. _It's real? All of that …?_

Suzaku knew he wasn't supposed to say anything, but he couldn't keep it in any longer. _Nunnally._ _And Euphy …_ Lelouch deserved to know what he'd done.

"I'm sorry," was all Suzaku could say. He wanted to leave but didn't let himself. Lelouch needed him; Suzaku owed him that at least. Even if he couldn't explain everything.

Lelouch gasped but found he was pressing too deeply into the pillow, so he attempted to turn around. The movement made the world spin, another wave of heat hitting him.

His head throbbed relentlessly. _Nunnally._

_Lelouch._

_Hello, Nunnally._

"St-stop —" Lelouch cried, letting out a whimper. His hands tugged at his hair, the visions closing in on him again —

Suzaku, worried about his friend's health, moved closer to him. He gently placed a hand on his forehead. "It's okay. Try to calm down …"

Suzaku thought about grabbing ice or medicine, but figured he'd try comfort first.

"Lelouch, I'm here. Focus on me," Suzaku tried again. It seemed to get worse. This time, he gave Lelouch a hug.

Lelouch wrapped his arms around Suzaku's middle. He nuzzled into Suzaku's chest, breathing heavily and listening to his pulse pounding in his head. _Suzaku is my best friend._ Lelouch squeezed his eyes shut. _We're not enemies. We're friends._

"Suzaku …" Lelouch whispered. He fought the onslaught of memories by focusing on the warmth and strength of his friend, the confused tingling in his core. He focused on how much he loved having Suzaku there holding him reassuringly — the disgrace of needing the hug at all — the joy coursing through him at being important — anything but the burning of Lelouch's eyes and head. _Anything but Nunnally._ "Suzaku …"

Suzaku blushed, his entire face red, matching the heat he felt between them. But he didn't dare pull away, not when his friend clearly needed him. He noticed Lelouch's grip tighten. _He's really not doing well. Please be okay._

The contact was helping. It was, but Lelouch found himself slipping, his grip failing him — _the thing trapped inside awakening —_

Lelouch tugged Suzaku flush to himself, shakily standing on his knees so he could touch him more. To ground himself in reality. "Suzaku, _please_ — the c-contact — it helps —"

His words sparked something in Suzaku, and before he realized it, his body had moved. Suzaku pushed Lelouch down on the bed, lying on top of him. Now he was cuddled flush against him, hoping the contact would help.

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, Lelouch," Suzaku murmured. He was worried, though he enjoyed the warmth.

Lelouch shuddered. Maybe from the pain, maybe from relief, maybe from something else altogether. The press of Suzaku's body held him against the bed and eased the thoughts running through his mind.

The stream of visions slowed. Lelouch hugged Suzaku, breathed in his scent, and waited.

Soon, the painful throbbing subsided. Lelouch's eyes burned like the rest of his body, but he no longer felt that he was being overtaken by an entity inside of him.

"Thank you." Lelouch turned, his nose gently bumping Suzaku's cheek. He didn't apologize, instead feeling a rush of pleasure and embarrassment. _He really cares._

If the visions were real memories or at least partially real, then Suzaku had more reason to hate Lelouch than to help him. But here Suzaku was, embracing him, giving him more of himself than Lelouch believed he deserved. _And I like it._

Lelouch smiled. _I like this a lot._

Suzaku held him closer, relaxing with him. This was comfortable. He didn't want to move. He felt Lelouch calming down underneath him and smiled. He was glad he could help him feel better.

And yet, there was a pinch of guilt in his chest for causing Lelouch pain in the first place. Erasing Zero had led to migraines for his friend, who had no idea what was going on. Not only that — to protect him, Suzaku couldn't explain anything else.

He banished the thoughts away, focusing on the present. Lelouch was here. With him. It was warm. _And these feelings …_

"You're welcome," Suzaku said. "I'll always be here for you."

_Don't make promises you can't keep,_ one voice said. _Prove to me you mean it._

Lelouch did not voice these thoughts. He might not have believed Suzaku, but his sincerity warmed him. Even if it wasn't true that he'd always be there for him, Suzaku would do his best.

Lelouch was fine with that. If they were together, that was enough.

"You know," Lelouch said, his smile softening. He spoke quietly, eyes searching his friend's deep green gaze. "When you said you missed those childhood days, did that mean my visions were real? Suzaku, have you ever hated me?"

Suzaku tensed, but he supposed it was his fault anyway. He owed him some answers.

"Yes. To both," Suzaku said. "My feelings for you are … complicated. There were times we disagreed on things about the world. And as we fought, my love became hate."

Suzaku sighed, being somewhat vague so he wouldn't trigger any more headaches. Nonetheless, he had to continue.

"Things changed over time. There are moments I believe you're my best friend, and the hate goes away," Suzaku said. "I wish I could explain more, but with your headaches and the risk of bringing back an evil … I can't."

_So I used to be Zero._ Lelouch knew it with certainty. It was obvious — disgustingly so — considering the visions coupled with Suzaku's behavior around him. It explained why Suzaku was reluctant to open up to him. Why Lelouch's emotions seized up whenever Suzaku turned away. Why Lelouch felt so close to a man who had no reason to be anything other than a roommate.

But they _were_ close. They were hugging. Suzaku was blushing, his expression understanding, his face centimeters away from Lelouch's.

But under that was fear, just a taste of it. _He wants me to explain myself. But I barely remember what I did._

_Nevertheless, he expects something. He wants closure._

"You're right. The man I used to be was evil," Lelouch said. "He did bad things. He killed people. He lied. But … everything he did, he did out of love. He loved you. Even when he fought you, he loved you, and he loved the people he was hurting. He did everything with good intentions, but things didn't always work out for him."

Suzaku listened, taking in his words, thinking about them while his own memories were pulled to the front of his mind.

_"Please, Suzaku …"_

Suzaku could see that … Especially during their confrontation on Kamine Island. Zero had been pleading with him. He hadn't wanted to hurt Suzaku, obvious by his tears and his statements.

Suzaku understood that Lelouch was right. Zero had loved him, and even if they disagreed on how to meet their ends, and even though he was violent, Zero had cared about him.

"Thank you," Suzaku said. "He and I disagreed, but he cared — cares about me. About Nunnally. About his classmates." Suzaku searched Lelouch's eyes, finding that he trusted him fully. "I may still hate him at times, but you have to believe me that I also work for love."

_Maybe … even if Zero comes back, he could change his ways._

Lelouch's headache returned, searing and viscous, but Suzaku's forgiveness eased it away. Their proximity, their earnest desire to reconnect, reminded Lelouch of the boy he really was.

Reminded him that even for the Lelouch he used to be, Zero was but a persona.

Lelouch did not know how to separate the truth from lies. Every memory jumbled in his head, a mystery. But he did know their love was the same. He knew Suzaku holding him was real.

Everything else … he could figure out later.

"I believe you," Lelouch murmured, his voice gentle and smooth, ringing low in the quiet. _I have Suzaku right here._

_He believes me …_ Suzaku's heart raced with love and hope. Maybe he didn't need to always hold back his feelings. They'd trusted each other enough in this moment to confide in one another.

They were still flush against each other, close enough to feel the other's breath. The contact and heat made Suzaku dizzy with all the emotions fogging up his head.

Suzaku cupped Lelouch's cheek, smiling down at him. _I want to show you the truth. I'm not lying to you about my love._

Suzaku leaned in closer. "I believe you too," he whispered against his lips before closing the distance between them.

Lelouch gasped when their lips touched, but all that accomplished was making Suzaku kiss him deeper. His headache disappeared. With their bodies pressed flush together, Suzaku's hand on his cheek and teasing his skin, Lelouch was burned by a different kind of fire altogether.

The contact sizzled with the most pleasurable and beautiful sensation imaginable. Suzaku's mind was too overwhelmed by bliss to register that he was _kissing_ Zero. All he wanted now was to forgive Lelouch, to reconcile with his best friend who he loved so much.

_Suzaku?_ Lelouch's eyes shut, his lips moving on their own to kiss him. Lelouch was underneath him, at Suzaku's mercy, with nowhere to go. And the feelings … all the feelings Lelouch had bottled up were begging to be recognized. All of his desire. _Stay with me. Love me back._ Words Zero had preached over and over again.

Lelouch felt the moment their lips parted, air rushing in cold and welcoming, and his violet eyes peeked open. Lelouch grinned in satisfaction — for he had never felt more at peace.

"Suzaku … you just kissed me."

Suzaku sucked in air when they pulled away. Lelouch's words made him pause. Had he really …? _I did._ Suzaku's face turned completely red, his ears burning too. _Maybe I shouldn't have? But, he doesn't seem upset._

"Oh … I suppose I did." Suzaku didn't have any other words. He _liked_ kissing him. A lot. It had opened the door to another world. A world where he could forget all his problems, all the fighting, all his self-hatred and guilt.

All of it disappeared whenever he kissed Lelouch.

Suzaku craved more, lips tingling with desire, but he never wanted to hurt or push Lelouch into anything he didn't want. "I hope you don't mind," Suzaku said. "I had to do that. It felt … it felt right."

_It made me whole._

"Yeah," Lelouch said. The usual comebacks and confident retorts weren't there, Lelouch's mind a haze of affection. He had no idea what to say other than _yes_.

Yes, he had liked it.

Yes, it was okay.

Yes, he felt right.

Lelouch leaned into the hand still cupping his face, kissing the strong line of Suzaku's wrist. _Warm, here, and mine._

Suzaku watched him, leaning into every tender touch and kiss. _This is nice. So warm and perfect._ His skin sizzled where Lelouch kissed him, and he loved the sensation.

Lelouch smiled against his skin, drinking in the way Suzaku's gaze followed him hungrily. He wanted more of it.

"Yeah," Lelouch repeated. "I don't mind you kissing me. You're my best friend, after all."

"Good." Suzaku hummed happily. Even though he wasn't quite sure if best friends acted like this. It didn't matter. Not now. He could worry about the implications later.

Instead, he kissed him again, more passionately. Now that they'd admitted to being comfortable, Suzaku felt better about going in for another kiss. _One more. Just please make me forget everything but you. I want you._

Lelouch responded, enjoying the insistence of Suzaku's mouth on his. _We want the same thing. We always did._

Lelouch arched his back and hips, not realizing until the softness of their kiss gave way to need that they couldn't get much closer. The fire spread from Lelouch's head down to his core, growing with the lack of oxygen instead of being put out.

Lelouch did not let it end at one kiss. He captured Suzaku's soft lips after giving him a second to breathe. The bed creaked when Lelouch adjusted further, leaning up off the pillows to get a better angle at Suzaku. _Kiss me._ Lelouch's smirk reappeared, laughter bubbling within him, high off joy and triumph. _I order you to kiss me._ Perhaps it wasn't his thoughts, but Zero's, yet he felt no shame.

He felt no shame towards Suzaku. Not towards his messy brown curls or rough eyebrows, not his full lips or flushed complexion. Lelouch, in fact, loved it all. He loved everything about Suzaku, his best friend, his companion.

Suzaku gave him what he wanted, knowing they were in sync for once. Desire sparked in his core, begging for more, but he would only go as far as Lelouch led him into. Every inch of his body felt extra sensitive. He felt alive, and above all, happy. _I want to be alive with you._

Lelouch gave his life meaning, and he knew now why Zero had ordered him to live. _Because he loves me …_

"It's _very_ … good," Lelouch corrected as soon as they broke for air, giggles escaping him in breathy bursts. _Suzaku. Mine._ "Th-though I'm tempted to be cheesy by saying how much I love this." _You._

Suzaku was panting when their kiss broke. He grinned and gazed into his friend's gorgeous eyes. "Me too. I really love this," Suzaku agreed. He chuckled as another thought spilled from his lips. "I actually wanted to kiss you ever since the bath …"

Seeing Lelouch that day, their intimacy had planted those thoughts into his mind and feelings into his heart. He couldn't stop thinking about it, and yet, he had to hide it for fear of messing up their friendship. _But now he accepts my feelings too …_

"That's it?" Lelouch asked, genuinely surprised. Maybe he was stuck-up from being the target of affections at school. Maybe he was too used to being Lelouch Lamperouge that he forgot Suzaku had reason to hate him. Or maybe he wanted to hear Suzaku had loved him as long as Lelouch loved Suzaku.

Lelouch ran his hand along Suzaku's back, tracing his muscles through his shirt. He huffed, looking at Suzaku with half-lidded eyes.

"I had my heart set on you for as long as I can remember," Lelouch said. "Maybe I didn't think about kissing you until more recently, though I wanted you all the same. This is going to sound funny, but I feel like you're my other half. Even … my memories of Nunnally weren't complete without you there with me. At least from what I remember."

"Oh. I … I mean, I guess it crossed my mind before that, but until recently, I only thought of you as my friend. And erm, well, an enemy too," Suzaku admitted, averting his gaze in embarrassment. "I didn't notice your affections until recently, either, sorry."

But things were different now. They'd spent enough time together for Suzaku's mind to change and for feelings to develop. Suzaku shivered at the way Lelouch gently touched and looked at him.

"The past is the past, and our feelings matter now," Suzaku said with a soft smile, eyes shifting back over to him. "I'm glad you feel the same. That this won't ruin our friendship."

"It's fine." Lelouch briefly pecked Suzaku on his cheek. _I always knew we were fools._ Zero again, maybe. Or maybe Lelouch was just like that. He wasn't quite sure anymore. "I'll have you know our friendship is the most important thing to me. You're that important, Suzaku."

It warmed Suzaku's heart to hear that. His fears and worries washed away. "Thank you. You're that important to me as well, Lelouch." He slowly put more space between them, Lelouch letting go with a smile. "I think it's time to study, don't you?"

Feeling like himself, Suzaku slowly got off the bed. He knew everything would work itself out just fine.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mewsy: This chapter is a short transition chapter. Sorry for the wait! But if it makes it any better, the next chapter is going to be five times this long, oops.

**White Knight AU 6**

Going back to school ended up being a lot harder than Lelouch thought. Ever since kissing Suzaku, he wasn't sure how he was supposed to act around him. A Britannian student and the Knight of Seven on kissing terms was bound to not only cause an uproar at school but the entire nation if they caught wind of it.

Not to mention that Britannian student also happened to be a young man who _also_ happened to be Zero, despite barely having memories of it.

Lelouch had more reason than ever to be cautious, but it seemed _he_ wasn't going to be their downfall. Suzaku would. _He blushes every time he looks at me!_

Suzaku knew that they probably should at least keep their relationship under wraps at school, but that proved to be difficult for him. It was hard not to stare or blush after kissing him.

"Heads up!" Lelouch shouted, forcefully tossing a volleyball in Suzaku's direction.

Plus, Suzaku was watching Lelouch do sports? It was strange since he was never the type to participate in P.E., yet here he was. Suzaku was distracted, but his peak physical condition kept him from embarrassing himself any further. He hit the ball perfectly back to Lelouch.

_Of course._ Lelouch should have known better. He had no time to dodge, but his reflexes allowed him to _punch_ the ball away from his face, where it was initially headed with a velocity comparable to the Lancelot's Harken Boosters.

An overstatement, but not really. Lelouch bit back a curse, his hand stinging, and was forced to watch as the ball barreled across the gym, ricocheting off the wall and into an unlucky classmate's leg. _They_ subsequently did not do as good of a job holding in their cuss, therefore receiving scalding looks from their coach while Lelouch shot a glare at Suzaku.

_Well, it was my fault anyway._ But no, not really, considering Suzaku was still blushing.

Suzaku forgot how strong he actually was most of the time. He stared at his feet then decided to approach Lelouch.

"Are you alright? I'm terribly sorry." Suzaku took his hand, gently inspecting it. Lelouch's hand was red, but nothing seemed wrong. "Really, I'm sorry. I forget my strength … and you aren't usually here."

Suzaku thought about kissing his hand to make it feel better like a parent would. But, considering they were in class, he didn't. _Maybe later, to make it up to him._

Lelouch let Suzaku worry over him until a similar blush threatened to appear on his face. Lelouch tugged his hand away, rubbing it himself. "I was _trying_ to get you to wake up," Lelouch hissed. "You keep blushing like you've never seen me before, Romeo. Don't forget we're at school."

Suzaku laughed. Lelouch was feeling better today; he could tell. "Alright, alright. Though it's not my fault that you look so good."

Lelouch turned away, scoffing. _Idiot._ He felt himself burning up to his ears, but only their unlucky victim seemed to notice in the commotion. Lelouch made it a point not to apologize, leaving that to Suzaku. Besides, he wasn't sure he could keep up the normal act much longer with memories of their kiss replaying in his head. _Suzaku looks better than me anyway. If people weren't so stuck on him being an honorary Britannian, I bet more people would realize that._

Suzaku apologized to their classmate, feeling responsible. Then he returned to his friend. "Let's continue where we left off, shall we?" The hint in his voice was suggestive, but he was only talking about practicing volleyball. Suzaku was still blushing; the joking wasn't without its consequences.

Lelouch sighed dramatically and passed Suzaku, though Lelouch's brain betrayed him with flashbacks of their shared kisses. It had been over two days since their first kiss, and it had decidedly not been their last, but Lelouch was nowhere near used to it. _He knows I'm having a hard time controlling myself._

It was probably payback for the volleyball incident.

Lelouch joined Rivalz on the court, where he was playing with a few boys in the class. Next to them, the girls were setting up for a game. Milly and a very awkward Shirley were deciding who would stand where. Lelouch fought a frown. _I still feel bad for letting her run off._

Suzaku pouted but followed anyway. Lelouch was right; they were still at school after all.

Shirley seemed to be doing better. She no longer looked upset and had her brightness back. Though, at times, she seemed like she was trying not to cry, likely about the whole thing a few days ago.

Lelouch figured he shouldn't say anything to Shirley until she approached him. It didn't make it any better that soon after denying her, he'd kissed Suzaku instead, but the less she knew, the less it would hurt … or at least the less Lelouch would have to deal with.

"Nice shot earlier, Lulu!" Rivalz snickered once the volleyball fell out of bounds.

"Don't call me Lulu."

Rivalz winked and smiled wider. "Whatever you say! So you're playing with us today?"

"Looks like it." Lelouch brushed his bangs out of his eyes, stepping onto the court. It was strange trying to participate in the games with everyone else, but it was another step towards bettering himself. And … it would be nice to impress Suzaku with some actual progress.

"Yo, Suzaku!" Rivalz called. "You playing too?"

Give it to Rivalz to be one of the few who treated Suzaku like anyone else.

"Yeah, sure!" Suzaku said. They could play a nice, friendly game and he could watch Lelouch. Or well, as discreetly as possible.

He joined Lelouch in the court, and they got the game started. Suzaku knew this was an excellent opportunity to improve on his teamwork, especially with Lelouch.

It was nice to play a game with his friends. Suzaku found himself relaxing. Only, he was a bit _too_ good … Every time, Suzaku spiked the ball so fast that nobody could hit it, winning them the points.

Suzaku backed off a bit after that, giving Lelouch more of a chance to shine.

Lelouch had gotten used to taking a backseat, standing on the edge of the court, and witnessing Suzaku's athletic prowess. Giving him room seemed to be both the safest and most pleasing option. Rivalz still managed to get in several hits, his aim decent but still producing a few difficult volleys from the other team that only Suzaku could return.

The girls had stopped playing to watch Suzaku. _That's how it's supposed to be._ Lelouch had never been the model athlete, especially not in P.E.

So when the ball came his way, and Suzaku let him have it, Lelouch underestimated the cheer that rose up when he managed to hit the ball over the net. _Ow._

"Way to go, Lulu!" Milly shouted, Shirley clapping beside her.

Lelouch had no time to look at Suzaku's either smug or awe-filled expression, already bracing for the return shot. Lelouch's heartbeat seemed to slow, hands sore from the hit, but ready to bump the ball back (because Suzaku would probably give it to him).

Suzaku liked watching Lelouch play. Lelouch might not have been fantastic at sports or P.E., but it was such a rarity to see him here that he found himself enjoying it.

Lelouch seemed to be enjoying the game too, which made his heart warm. He cheered for him with the others, clapping as his cheeks flushed lightly. _Suzaku's actually pretty good. He should stop doubting himself so much._

Their opponent, the same guy who got hit in the leg, whistled and smote the volleyball in a swift arch. Lelouch and Rivalz both lunged forward — Lelouch was closer. The ball smacked against his joined fists, echoed loudly against the pole of the net, and bounced back right into —

Suzaku darted in front of Lelouch with unmatched speed, arms up to block the ball. Direct hit. The ball bounced and rolled off the court.

He'd protected Lelouch from getting hit directly in the face. That would have ruined the whole game and warrant a visit to the nurse.

Suzaku smiled, turning to face him. "Are you alright?"

"Uh." Lelouch blinked. _Suzaku saved me._ He was unable to stop his blush, so he turned away and watched Rivalz retrieving the ball. "Yeah, I'm fine, but that wouldn't have happened if you just played like usual … You really don't have to hold back for me." Lelouch continued to rub at his hands. _I'm not cut out for this._

Suzaku's smile slowly fell. "It's alright, Lelouch. I'm proud of you for even trying today. It's really nice to have you participating with everyone." _With me._

Suzaku paused and found his grin again.

"I wanted to see you play, so of course I had to hold back. I'm kind of too good at it anyway and want others to have a chance at winning," Suzaku admitted.

He was quite the athletic god, and if he really tried, he'd smoke everyone with his knightly reflexes.

_I'm glad._ "Sure, but winning isn't everything," Lelouch said, only then returning Suzaku's grin. Mischief sparkled in Lelouch's eyes. "I'd be honored to get _beat_ by you sometime. I'm confident the others would agree."

That was not the reaction Suzaku was expecting. It made his stomach flip. "Oh."

_I like this side of you …_ Suzaku remembered it was the competitive and determined part of Lelouch that always got him to act more passionately. That made his insides burn and amplified his will to live and fight.

"Well, in that case, one day, I will. I can and will _roast_ you." Suzaku smirked, winking at Lelouch.

Lelouch choked on a mixture of laughter and a whimper, falling into a bow just in time before Suzaku could see his fluster. "I welcome it," Lelouch said, thankful for the level tone of his voice.

Rivalz yelled for them to join the game again, rescuing Lelouch from any further embarrassment at the hands of his friend. Lelouch stepped away, did his best to ignore the way his body burned — _roasted_ indeed — and took refuge in the back of the court.

Suzaku did notice his blush, but it made Lelouch cuter. He happily returned to the game, this time playing more and having fun.

The rest of P.E. went well; nobody else got hit with the ball, and before they knew it, it was over.

After P.E., it was time for the Student Council study session. Suzaku took a seat and felt the familiar sting of Arthur biting his foot. Suzaku smiled and picked up the cat, waiting for everyone else.

Lelouch entered with Rivalz and their unlucky classmate, having bonded over the wildness of their game. Some others also entered the room, but there was no sign of Milly or Shirley.

Rivalz glanced around in confusion. "Hey, where's the prez? She's always here first."

Before Lelouch could comment, Milly came up behind them, a broad smile on her face. _No Shirley._

Suzaku noticed that Shirley hadn't shown up, but he wasn't surprised. He hoped that she'd be fine after a few days, as she was usually so fun and bright. _I hope this doesn't make Lelouch feel terrible again …_

"Alright, everyone!" Milly said, raising her arms into the air. "We're going to have another productive meet today so we can get out of here, okay! Also, let's have a round of applause to Lulu for participating in gym!"

Clapping along, Suzaku winked at Lelouch for being a good sport and hanging out with him today. _Thank you._

Lelouch averted his gaze, finding it much harder to stay composed with so many eyes on him. _And Suzaku._ He appreciated Suzaku's support, but Lelouch knew Milly and the others just wanted to be a tease. _The only other person who would clap for real is Shirley, but she's not here._

Unable to stand the spotlight much longer, Lelouch sat beside Suzaku at the table. Lelouch's first thought was that he'd saved him a spot, but the seat next to him was empty. _People are still reluctant to get near Suzaku._

"I don't see why they won't clap for you instead," Lelouch muttered, his cheeks blazing. "You were more awesome than me."

Suzaku still had his eyes on him once he sat down. He didn't want to look away. "I appreciate it." Suzaku knew that he had the looks and the skills to blow them away, but Britannians weren't that close to him. Maybe it was his rank isolating him or the fact that he used to be an Eleven. Either way, people clapping for him would only happen at official ceremonies as the Knight of Seven.

Lelouch couldn't wait to get home with Suzaku. So far, this study session was the most uncomfortable yet, especially since all Lelouch wanted to do was kiss his friend and stop worrying over every little thing. However, Lelouch picked up the handout Milly had prepared, passed Suzaku another, and did his best to focus.

As usual, three-fourths of the group was joking around. Lelouch took out his pencil and began crossing off topics he already knew. It didn't amount to much. Lelouch's knowledge of history was fine, but current events were jumbled, and his concept of math and science was hugely lacking. His grades, even after studying to impress Suzaku, hovered barely above passing. _I can't remember anything from the last couple years of school._

Suzaku started on his homework, checking the handout to make sure he was comfortable with the topics. Only … Suzaku, too, felt his mind wandering to his friend. To their kisses, their conversation about Zero, and their flirting during gym. Suzaku tried to focus, but it was hard. He spared a glance at Lelouch.

"Do you need help?" Suzaku offered instead, noticing his confused expression. Suzaku wanted to be there for him, even for something as simple as schoolwork. _We'll do it together._

"I don't get why this is always so hard for me," Lelouch complained, opening a calculus textbook. He checked the handout, found the highlighted topic in the index, and realized it required previous knowledge from an advanced algebra class to understand. _I know I took that class last year! It's almost like I didn't learn anything at all._

But Lelouch's records were straight. He remembered going to class every day, even if he slept half the time … _But why was I sleeping?_

His mind answered him. Late nights out. Chess, walking through the ghettos, taking care of Nunnally. Lelouch had been bored and restless. _No, Zero. Zero did those things._ Lelouch took a deep breath, massaging his temples as a headache threatened to come on. _Fine, Zero. Ruin my school life too._

Suzaku sometimes struggled for similar reasons. He had missed classes since he'd been called in as the Lancelot's pilot and then as Princess Euphemia's knight. If anyone understood how hard it was to catch up on class, it was Suzaku.

Even now, he was occasionally requested as the Knight of Seven or for OSI meetings. Which meant having less time in class and less time for studying. Suzaku rested a hand on Lelouch's shoulder. _I know it's hard. I'm here._

"Aw, is Lulu okay?" Milly asked. She leaned over the table, smiling down at Suzaku.

"Nothing friends and studying can't fix," Suzaku said.

"Good answer," Milly said. Her blue eyes swept towards the hand on Lelouch's shoulder. A knowing smirk quirked at her lips. "So. I wasn't going to say anything to you boys, but I sense some love in the air."

Lelouch glanced up, eyebrows raised. _What now?_ With mortification, Lelouch realized half the group suddenly remembered how to listen. Rivalz looked extremely stiff.

Milly grinned wider.

Suzaku tensed, tempted to pull away. He didn't, mostly because Lelouch was warm, but also because denying it would probably earn them more teasing. "Yes. It's called friendship," he answered with a small smile. "You already knew this, Milly."

"Who said I was talking about you?" Milly said, chuckling. "But yes, friendship is love, isn't it?"

_Suzaku._ Lelouch wanted to admonish him on the spot for being so obvious. Even Rivalz the airhead caught on that Milly _was_ talking about Suzaku and Lelouch and not him and Milly. _She wanted confirmation._ But surely Milly was smart enough not to say anything else aloud.

Suzaku shrugged but didn't deny it. He simply smiled and moved his hand back to his homework. "I do believe we have more important things to be talking about, Prez." _That's enough of that, please._

Milly backed off, calling everyone's attention to the paper again. Though at one point, she did cast Lelouch a glance that seemed to say, _It's okay._

Lelouch definitely couldn't focus on his schoolwork after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mewsy: Did I forget to mention that the next chapter is smut...?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You waited, we delivered.

**White Knight AU 7**

The next few days passed by similarly with Lelouch participating in gym more often and Suzaku helping him review with the student council. Suzaku wasn't called in for anything, which was nice. It eased his mind off his worries. So did kissing Lelouch, but that was beside the point.

They'd fallen into a routine. Cooking, eating, cleaning, and then studying before bed. And a few stolen kisses when Sayoko wasn't looking.

Either way, it seemed the routine held up. Suzaku grabbed his books and sat on the couch, waiting for Lelouch.

"Guess what!" Lelouch said from behind the couch. He wrapped his arms around Suzaku and dangled his phone in front of him. On it were Lelouch's grades for the semester: all Bs except for a high C in calculus. "Thanks to you, I'm no longer looking like the biggest failure on campus."

Suzaku laughed at his silliness. "Good job, but that's not all me. You've put in a lot of hard work lately, Lulu," he said. "Though you're welcome. I'm glad you're doing better."

Lelouch gripped the phone properly and hugged Suzaku, resting his head on his shoulder. He nuzzled his cheek softly, mostly as a thank you. _But Lulu?_ Lelouch smirked curiously at the nickname he so-tolerated from the rest of his friends, but he didn't exactly hate it coming from Suzaku's mouth. It was bait to tease Lelouch, possibly. _Or maybe he just likes it._

"I'm thanking you anyway," Lelouch said. _I love you._ "Are your grades also okay?"

"Yes." Suzaku leaned into him, enjoying the warmth. "My grades are good. Mostly Bs." Suzaku was required to keep his grades pretty high, concerned with his reputation as a Knight and an Ashford student. _Things are going well for us school and relationship-wise._

Lelouch pecked his cheek then let go of Suzaku to join him on the couch. He let his hand trail over him as he did, already expecting the blush that would follow. _Sayoko won't check on us for the rest of the night unless we call for her._ It was the same every night.

If Sayoko had picked up on their chemistry, she had never given away that she did. She was a master at disguising her emotions. Lelouch believed she had played a similar role even when he was Zero — there for support and gone every time else.

Lelouch pocketed his phone, wearing only his chess pin, a black tank top, and his jeans, and sat beside Suzaku. "What are we studying today?"

Suzaku's gaze followed him, Lelouch's movements sending his thoughts spinning about kissing him. "Well …" Suzaku hummed. "I'm not sure. With our good grades, we deserve a break, don't you think? Or, if not, what's the subject you struggle the most in? We can work on that."

_A break._ What exactly did Suzaku have in mind? Lelouch tapped the calculus textbook gently with a finger. "Math is obviously the hardest for me, but I've managed to figure out the algebra portion. The only thing left is memorization and being careful not to make simple errors."

_Before the memory wipe, your math was dramatically better than mine._ Suzaku smiled. "That's good! A bit more practice and your grade should go up again!" he said. "I know what it's like to get stuck in classes. I missed a lot of days as a soldier …" Suzaku had to study extra hard this year to make up for all that.

"We can accomplish anything together," Lelouch said, reciting the phrase they used to say to each other, although in a more optimistic light than how Zero had said it. _There is nothing we cannot accomplish together._ Zero was right in the aspect that he'd been a match for Suzaku, but wrong in that accomplishments were to be seized and controlled. Lelouch knew they were not only happy victories but steps towards a brighter future. "Let's keep working like this, and maybe we can graduate with all As. Or …" Lelouch smirked. "Or we can take a break. You sounded like you wanted to."

The past few days, they'd both been pouring in tons of effort into school. "Yeah, a break for tonight sounds nice." Though Suzaku wasn't sure what they would do. Maybe just relax, read, cuddle. Something like that. "If you're alright with it."

"I'm alright with it." Lelouch picked up Suzaku's books and set them on the table. They might have a study session in the morning over breakfast, but he didn't care to think about it. _I'm studying to be worth it to you anyway. I want to be a good person._ "I can put on the TV. Might be something on that's half-decent. Or we could play a game. You still haven't played me in chess like you said you would."

_Right … the chess game._ Suzaku wasn't sure he wanted to, although he had promised him. "Maybe TV?" he suggested. "I um …" His reasoning was embarrassing. "I enjoy the hugs and cuddles …" Suzaku admitted. "I will play chess with you, but maybe another time?"

"Sure." Lelouch turned on the TV and tossed Suzaku the remote. It wasn't that Lelouch really wanted to play him. The appeal was in getting to share something he enjoyed with him. Lelouch could wait.

As Lelouch sat down again, he found his mind drifting to Suzaku's kisses. _Hugs and cuddles, you said?_

Suzaku idly flipped through the channels, finding nothing interesting. He sighed, stopping on a random news channel, only to find they were talking about landmark terrorist attacks (and, of course, Zero). _I should just turn it off. Especially if Lelouch will get more headaches about the whole thing._

Lelouch had been leaning on Suzaku in an effort to get comfortable, but the sight of Zero did trigger something — _it wasn't Zero, it was a woman_ — a woman Lelouch saw for the brief flicker of a second, her hair a luscious green, her expression pitiless as she ducked into the cockpit of the Gawain — _Why do I remember that name?_ — before Zero took off.

_The Battle of Tokyo Settlement._ Lelouch knew it as the day of Zero's death, but — the headache knew it as reason to return.

Lelouch squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in Suzaku's chest. _Go away. Go away._

Suzaku shut off the TV and held Lelouch close, pulling his arms around him. "Sorry," Suzaku murmured softly, gently running his fingers through Lelouch's hair. This reminded him of their first kiss after Lelouch's massive headache. _Maybe …_

"Suzaku …" Lelouch began, breathing in the scent of Suzaku's clothes — still somehow fresh after the busy day. It helped him relax, but Lelouch realized he couldn't say much more where they were. The other times he got close to speaking, Suzaku gave him that same glare that he'd given Lelouch at the park. _Not here._

Lelouch learned to only speak in the bathroom or his bedroom, although he wasn't sure why. _And all I ever tell him are things about my memories._

If he was getting surveyed because he was Zero, it didn't make sense why it would _ever_ be safe to speak. Especially if Suzaku was in on it and even more especially if Suzaku was choosing him over _them_. They were conclusions Lelouch came to on his own. It made him uncomfortable to live in his own house, but part of the act was looking comfortable. Doing things one wouldn't normally do in public. Not to mention, Suzaku appeared to always be fine with it.

Suzaku had intentionally taught Lelouch where it was safe to talk. Suzaku was worried Villetta would figure out the pattern; every time Lelouch got a headache, they would go into the bedroom or bathroom to talk. Hopefully she didn't, but he needed to make sure she didn't check.

Right now, Lelouch's headache was okay, but it was _that woman_ that Lelouch had yet to mention. Her face appeared in Lelouch's mind. Something about her needed asking.

_And I need to get Suzaku alone to do it._

Lelouch shivered for real, Suzaku's fingers threading through his hair giving him an idea. "Y-yeah. My head hurts," Lelouch said, leaning closer. "I think I _need_ you, Suzaku."

Stiffening, Suzaku briefly pulled away to gaze at him. _A talk? Or?_ Suzaku's face burned all the way through the tips of his ears. He had to make this believable … yet, a part of him knew it wasn't all for show … Suzaku really did want Lelouch like that.

Now that they were on kissing terms and loved each other, he felt nothing but desire and camaraderie for Lelouch. It wouldn't be a complete lie or manipulation. He wasn't like Zero.

"Lelouch … I _need_ you, too," Suzaku said, heart thrumming. _This is for show. Kind of. We're not going to do anything. It's for show._ "Will you … sleep with me?"

_Sleep —_ Lelouch barely contained his surprise, although his blush appeared full-force. He hadn't meant that with the word "need", since he'd believed Suzaku wanted to wait. Maybe because Suzaku should have been repulsed by the thought of having sex with Zero. _But I'm not Zero, and Suzaku is offering._ Offering as a cover-up, anyway …

_I can let him humor me._ It was one of Lelouch's guilty fantasies, after all. _Perhaps not so guilty._

Saying yes was too easy. Lelouch moved in for an eager kiss, pressing his lips passionately against Suzaku's, parting them so he could kiss him deeper. Lelouch felt the tangle of hands in his hair, the warm strength of Suzaku's body, and realized he was fooling himself too. _I really want this._

_Oh my, he actually …_ Suzaku could barely think once their lips met. He was surprised, figuring Lelouch would've laughed, believing he was joking, or at the very least, told him to wait, that he wasn't ready. But Lelouch kissed him as an answer. A sure sign he wanted Suzaku as well.

Suzaku's eyes closed as he gave in to the sensation of their lips moving together. The familiar warmth between them sparked, a feeling that left his lower body boiling with need.

Lelouch waited until Suzaku ran out of oxygen before he tried to speak. "I'll sleep with you," Lelouch said quickly, lust curling in his core. He had moved onto Suzaku's lap during their kiss. _Oh no._ Lelouch's blush reddened, his need starting to manifest. _My — Suzaku can probably feel that. Oh no._

Suzaku gazed at him, slowly realizing this was actually happening. _I do want you, Lelouch. Please …_ "Not here, silly." Suzaku chuckled breathlessly. He teased Lelouch for being so eager, but he picked him up anyway.

Suzaku carried him to the bedroom, smiling at how Lelouch hugged his neck, and gently placed him on the bed. He went to lock the door, just in case, and returned to Lelouch.

_Not a dream._ Lelouch sprawled across the bed, unable to take his eyes off Suzaku, hearing the very real door click, seeing his very real Suzaku very really walking towards him in their very real bedroom. _Really._

Lelouch panted quietly, becoming a whole new level of self-conscious. And then — just as Suzaku approached the bedside, he remembered what they were there to do.

But that didn't mean Lelouch couldn't have fun with it. He sat up and gripped Suzaku's collar, pulling him in for another kiss. Lelouch wasn't sure who moaned first, but it sent another wave of satisfaction through him. And something else.

Suzaku wasn't expecting that. He melted regardless, nearly falling over while trying to get into a more comfortable position. His fingers explored Lelouch's cheek and jaw as they kissed, moving further down to his neck and chest, but he didn't want to rush.

Lelouch was right here in front of him, accepting his offer. Suzaku only recently realized he'd wanted him like this. Now they were here. Doing _this_.

Suzaku broke away after a moment, face completely flushed, lips parted and slightly swollen. He gazed down at Lelouch, taking in the sight of him with a rush of longing. "I love you …" Suzaku murmured.

Suzaku told Lelouch he loved him before, always as a friend — but this time, Lelouch heard the difference. Zero would have died to hear these words from Suzaku. _And he did._

Because it was Lelouch Lamperouge that was making out with Suzaku, Lelouch Lamperouge who had the privilege of returning Suzaku's affections.

But even if Zero was dead, Lelouch knew the past-him and the present-him agreed completely. "I love you too."

Lelouch smiled with lips sore from ravishing Suzaku, tugged him ever closer, and peppered soft smooches near his ear. Suzaku's breath was hot on Lelouch's neck, sending an electric warmth through him, and Lelouch was careful to do the same.

"I love you," he murmured into Suzaku's ear, calling upon the deepest, most charming tone of voice he could. His hands groped at Suzaku's sides, hugging him flush against him. Lelouch fought the urge to do more — and also the urge to laugh. "And by the way, I had more visions. I saw a woman with green hair. Do you know who she is?"

Suzaku smiled upon hearing the confirmation of what he knew deep down to be true. Even Zero had loved him, despite having a weird way of showing it. So he knew Lelouch loved him too.

Suzaku leaned into him with a shudder. He wanted to move in and do more, but Lelouch had to bring _her_ up. "Really? Now?" Suzaku complained. He wasn't mad, but a twinge of jealousy ran through his chest.

"So you know who she is?" Lelouch traced circles into Suzaku's back.

"Yes. Strange girl, hung out with Zero a lot." Suzaku glanced away. "I don't want to trigger more headaches, so no more. Not now. Please."

_Is she not important?_ Lelouch frowned, though he gave up the conquest of knowledge so he could conquer Suzaku instead. Lelouch tipped his head, peppering kisses from the side of Suzaku's face to his collarbone. Fighting his nervousness, he paused to lick slowly at the nape of Suzaku's neck, teasing the skin above his collar. _I like this._

"You taste good, Suzaku," Lelouch said, looking up just long enough to press another kiss to his lips. _So good._ He pulled back, adoring the way Suzaku responded to the attention. _Even down there, he …_ Lelouch shivered, meeting Suzaku's emerald gaze. "I take it you were serious when you said you wanted to sleep with me?"

Suzaku hummed in response. Lelouch's kisses and the sensation of his warm, wet tongue on Suzaku's skin were driving him crazy. Suzaku returned the favor by gently kissing Lelouch's neck. Suzaku's fingers played with his collar, tracing designs on the skin underneath. He undid a few buttons on the front of Lelouch's shirt.

"I am serious. I hope it's not too sudden or too fast, but I …" Suzaku paused. "I couldn't help myself, especially after we've started kissing lately."

Lelouch kissed Suzaku again before replying. The heated sensation inside of him grew tighter, desperate. "Suzaku," he said, so close their lips were brushing, "I feel like I've been waiting for this forever."

"Me too," Suzaku said. Because he had been. All the suggestive moves Lelouch had ever made before this had caused Suzaku to want him more and more, and the pressure was building.

Blushing furiously, Lelouch shifted, the covers wrinkling beneath him. _This is real._ No one had ever gotten this far with him in his lifetime, not that he knew of. Suzaku's fingers revealing Lelouch's bare chest were excruciatingly foreign, exciting. _He wants me._ Lelouch's fingers slipped under Suzaku's shirt in turn, playing at the toned muscles of Suzaku's stomach, rubbing along the confident ridge of his ribs. _I want Suzaku._

Suzaku tried to stay relatively composed, but every single burning touch made him melt with desire. He'd promised himself not to rush this, to make it special, but a part of him was starting to cave. Suzaku bit his lip and pulled off his shirt. Lelouch had already been touching the bare skin anyway.

Suzaku moved in for another kiss, this time lips parted enough to let their tongues slide against each other. He couldn't help a soft moan that slipped between the hot kisses. He pulled back, panting as he gently tugged the rest of Lelouch's shirt off.

_This is nothing we haven't seen before._ Suzaku saw Lelouch in the bath recently; Lelouch saw Suzaku's bare chest sometimes when he worked out or when they had to do laundry and ran out of clean clothes. It was nothing _new_ , but the sight of Suzaku panting, his tan skin alight with passion, his eyes drinking in Lelouch like he was beyond precious … _Yes._

Lelouch arched into Suzaku, pressing their bare middles together, and bumped his pelvis on his, rocking into him. Pleasure instantly shot into Lelouch, rich and demanding. He made a noise akin to a muffled scream, falling back onto the bed. He almost laughed, but the expression on Suzaku's face made him reconsider. Lelouch's tentative joy melted into anticipation. _Suzaku …_

Suzaku gripped Lelouch's sides, pulling him closer. The movement elicited a deeper moan that Suzaku couldn't muffle, despite his efforts. Pure heat and pleasure pulsed through his lower body, intense and insistent. He gasped. "A-ah … oh my … _Lelouch …_ " Suzaku murmured, voice thick with lust.

_I really want you. Now._ Suzaku was a bit nervous, but it melted away from how much he loved Lelouch. _I do. I wouldn't lie to you about that._ Suzaku hesitated for a brief moment, gazing between their pants and Lelouch, silently asking permission to go further.

Lelouch nodded a little too eagerly, Suzaku's noises weakening what resistance he had left. Lelouch's hands, once trailing Suzaku's skin, fell to the belt of his pants. He hooked his thumbs beneath Suzaku's buckle, fumbling to undo it while his knuckles brushed the smooth and warm curvature of Suzaku's hips. _Yes._

Lelouch unlatched his belt and began to pull it out, mesmerized by the purpose his hands suddenly had, no longer worried — _Okay. A little bit worried …_

Suzaku let him. He could tell Lelouch was nervous. Suzaku tried to ease his fears by gifting kisses to his neck, trailing down his chest. He used his tongue, licking gently, fingertips tracing designs along his hips. _Lelouch, oh gosh. Yes._

Suzaku then went to work on Lelouch's pants, although slowly, because he wanted to make sure he was still comfortable with this. There was always time to back out if he didn't want to. Suzaku tugged them down when he got no complaints or signs to stop.

_It's real._ Lelouch, violet eyes glazed over with desire. He was so near vulnerable, all Suzaku's, at his mercy. _I'm yours._

Suzaku could practically see his thoughts in his expression. He gripped onto Lelouch's hips a bit tighter. _You're mine. I love you._

Lelouch wasn't sure where he was supposed to look, but since it was dim in the room, he ended up watching Suzaku's shoulders tilt closer, ready to claim him — _soon, so soon._ Lelouch finished pulling out Suzaku's belt and tossed it aside. It fell onto the floor, though he hadn't meant to throw it so hard. _I want him._ Lelouch started on Suzaku's pants.

Suzaku helped him, wiggling out of his pants because they were way too constricting to have on.

He leaned in for another deep kiss. Suzaku couldn't get enough of the heat that always sparked, hotter, hotter. Their hips rubbed together and Suzaku rolled his down, shuddering and holding in a pleasured whimper. Without their pants, he felt way more sensitive, and everything was hot. "Lelouch …"

"T-too slow," Lelouch complained, a smile splitting his features. He underestimated the whine that would escape him the next time their hips connected. "Suzaku — _Suzaku …_ " _Good. Amazing. Suzaku._

"S-sorry …" Suzaku panted, but he could hear the need in Lelouch's voice and _oh boy_ , did he want to give it to him. Only now he wished they had a certain something in the bedside drawer. _Next time …_

"Lelouch, I want you … I need you. I love you." Suzaku gazed down at him, making sure Lelouch really wanted to go through with this before he started anything serious.

" _Please,_ " Lelouch said, his usually calm voice coming out with a desperate edge to it. It was a mistake; he knew immediately Suzaku would take advantage of his begging — _It's not begging. I just said pl—_

His words got to him. Suzaku pressed down hard, the friction just right to make them both moan.

Lelouch barely held in his pleasure, his breath shaking, his body useless already. Every movement of Suzaku's was both bliss and torture. And they still had clothes between them down there …

"Suza-suzaku —"

The way Lelouch said his name broke something inside of him. Suzaku couldn't hold back much longer. He, too, was that needy. " _Lelouch_ ," he said back, panting.

Suzaku yanked off the last of their clothes, too desperate to take it slow or worry about exposing himself. After all, that was the point of this.

Lelouch woke up from the exposure, enjoying a rush of cold and honest expectation. His eyes widened, embarrassment flooding his system long enough to realize Suzaku could see his excited erection — but Lelouch couldn't help but glance at Suzaku's too. Instantly, Lelouch felt confident again. _He wants me._

"I'm a lucky man," Lelouch said breathlessly. His hands moved on their own to touch Suzaku's skin, tracing his thighs.

Suzaku's face was bright red, but he didn't try to hide anything, not himself, and not his stare. He felt comfortable enough to be this vulnerable with Lelouch. "I'm lucky too."

Lelouch's arm pulled him into another hug, his other still rubbing the inside of Suzaku's thigh. The contact was searingly pleasing. _I'm enjoying this too much._

Suzaku leaned into him, shivering with lust, although his fingers did the same to Lelouch. He wanted to memorize the feel of Lelouch's skin on his. _I can't hold back much longer. Not with you touching me like this …_

"I-I umm …" Suzaku chuckled breathlessly. "I don't wish to hurt you … But warning that it will a bit." Suzaku turned his head away, embarrassed.

Lelouch was a virgin, but he had learned enough about what men did in bed that he wasn't shocked to hear it. _Out of Suzaku's mouth, though …_ Lelouch moaned out a laugh. Suzaku's fingers teasing and rubbing the sensitive underside of Lelouch's thigh sent a million fantasies flashing through Lelouch's head. It was objectively worse than the visions he'd had before. Because this time … " _Suzaku._ I — I don't care what you do to me, so long as I _have_ you. I need to have you."

"Alright." Suzaku softly kissed his cheek, his touch gentle, fingers sliding up and down his thighs.

Only for him to take his hand away.

Watching Lelouch, Suzaku licked his fingers, coating them in saliva. He leaned into Lelouch as he touched himself, making sure he was slick so it'd lessen the pain. "Lelouch …" Suzaku murmured. "Y-you will have me."

_Yes._ Lelouch adjusted underneath him, breathing heavily and growing harder by the second. Seeing Suzaku touch himself made Lelouch want to —

"Let me do it," Lelouch said quickly. He tried to sit up, but the pressure was too much, and he soon fell back to his previous position, both of his hands slipping lower on Suzaku in desire. Lelouch got ahold of one of Suzaku's wrists, and without giving him much opportunity to respond, Lelouch started licking his fingers.

The taste of Suzaku's saliva mixed with precum caused Lelouch's core to clench with heat. _Slightly salty._ Lelouch sucked on Suzaku's fingers one by one, his eyes fluttering closed while he licked every inch, savoring the knowledge that he was tasting Suzaku, about to give him a part of himself. _All_ of himself. _Good. Really good._

Suzaku didn't mind; in fact, he let out a few muffled moans just watching him. Suzaku's lower body grew tighter with lust, and he couldn't wait to start already. Lelouch's warm, wet tongue on his fingers made his legs start to shake. "A-ah …"

Suzaku whimpered softly, ready for more. _More. So good. Please._

"Lelouch …" Suzaku bit his lip as he slowly pulled his hand back. He finished what he'd started, holding in another whine as he coated himself. He hesitated for a second, but they were past the awkwardness and shyness, and they really wanted each other. So he carefully worked a slick finger inside Lelouch.

Lelouch had touched himself like this before. Quite recently too, ever since they began kissing and Lelouch wanted to experiment by himself — but even so, he had forgotten the discomfort of being entered. Suzaku's finger was wet and easy at Lelouch's opening, but Lelouch was so _tight,_ and Suzaku was pushing _in,_ and it _hurt_ — Lelouch couldn't enjoy it. His body rejected the attention. His whimpers escaped with a different kind of pleading, tension headache throbbing, his eyes shut so he wouldn't feel the need to cry. Lelouch hissed, legs opening wide anyway, trying to focus on Suzaku entering him, on _Suzaku_ …

"I-it's — h-how much …?" Lelouch bit out, squeezing Suzaku's hips a little too hard.

Suzaku bit his lip. He'd warned him, knowing it wouldn't be the best part of the night. But if they wanted this, and _oh boy_ did they, Lelouch would have to briefly endure the pain. Suzaku gave light kisses to his stomach to help distract him. "S-sorry … A little bit more, Lelouch …"

_I don't like hurting you …_ Suzaku wasn't going to stop, not when Lelouch was practically begging to pledge his body to him. Suzaku was slow, moving his finger.

"Try to relax," Suzaku said. "It's ok. I love you …" He smiled, trying to get him to focus on their love. Suzaku slipped in a second wet finger, tentative and controlled, knowing that it would still hurt.

_One more step … A little more pain, and then it'll be fine from there._

Lelouch arched his back, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. He shuddered as Suzaku scissored his insides. _Suzaku is inside me._ The kisses and Suzaku's warm breath tickled his belly, sent cravings to his core and mind, caused Lelouch's legs to stretch out, more, more. _Pain. Suzaku. Mine. It hurts._

Lelouch let go of Suzaku, accidentally scratching him as he pulled away and clutched at the sheets for purchase.

Suzaku let out a gasp when Lelouch scratched him, but it didn't bother him much. It hurt, but that mixed with his growing need and want at seeing his Lelouch beneath him. He wiggled and scissored his fingers inside him. _So tight._

Lelouch gasped, the pain amplified through his body. But it was good, too. Wasn't it good? _Suzaku. Suzaku._

The pain wasn't getting any better.

Lelouch stopped himself from curling up and making things awkward, forcing his legs to stay open. _I need to — something, I want —_ Lelouch felt his fingers brush Suzaku's length. At one point, he'd let go of the bedspread. Lelouch tried to distract himself by running his hands over Suzaku's erection, being as careful as possible, but unable to help squeezing just a bit.

"H-hope you don't mind …" Lelouch said, smiling at him.

Soft fingers caressed Suzaku's member, and he nearly lost focus, a moan slipping from his lips. _Lelouch is …_ His legs shook, and his hips bucked involuntarily. _He's touching me. Yes, please._ Suzaku gazed at him. "I-I … ahh, I don't mind." That was the truth. He loved it.

"Let — let me keep doing it, then," Lelouch said, gasping louder when Suzaku stretched him. Lelouch clutched Suzaku then, stroking him all the way to his tip. Still panting and squirming, Lelouch pressed his thumb over Suzaku's slit. Lelouch grinned when the blush brightened on Suzaku's face, his steady posture dipping in response. "Y-you like this, don't y-you? Why don't you take more …?" _I'm really saying this._

"O-oh …" Suzaku was melting, quite literally falling apart in pleasure at his touch. _Lelouch … Yes!_ He let out a muffled noise, leaning forward into him. "L-Lelouch … Ngh, I d-do like … _Your hands._ " Suzaku huffed, struggling to speak correctly. His head felt foggy and warm combined with the heat curling in his navel.

"I — I can do more. I — I can use my _lips_ if you want," Lelouch said, the pain giving way to hunger. For Suzaku, for another taste … Since Lelouch couldn't act on his offer in this position, he continued to touch Suzaku, finding the confidence to steal a kiss instead. _His fingers are still inside of me._ It hurt a lot less when Suzaku stopped moving, but when Lelouch pulled back for air, he saw that the relief would be short-lived.

Lelouch's words put visions in Suzaku's head, but he'd already promised to claim all of him. And he wanted and _needed_ all of him. So another time, he'd get to _taste_ as much as he wanted.

Suzaku kissed Lelouch hungrily in turn, groaning into his lips before he pulled back. He panted heavily, but he was ready. Suzaku slowly took his fingers out of him. "I-I appreciate … the offer." Suzaku smiled and leaned next to his ear. "But don't you think I need to _claim_ you now?"

Lelouch moaned, wanton, the sound rising from some deep, desperate part of him — _I want you. Suzaku, I need you. I love you._ Suzaku's voice was intoxicating. Everything Lelouch had dreamed of hearing. If Lelouch was supposed to feel guilty for loving him, lust had claimed him already. _I'm too far gone._ "Yes, Suzaku — _yes_."

Suzaku shivered. Hearing Lelouch keen in ecstasy affected something deep in his core. Suzaku shifted, lining himself up with Lelouch's entrance.

Suzaku smiled. "I love you …" He kissed him softly as he carefully pushed inside. He took Lelouch's hand, squeezing it to comfort him. _A little more pain. You're strong, Lelouch._ Suzaku knew that even if it hurt, Lelouch wouldn't want him to stop now.

"G-gah! S-suza— _Suza-k-ku!_ " Lelouch couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't function with the pain erupting from his core. It rippled through his body, sent warm electricity up his spine, throbbing through his head.

Lelouch dug his fingers into Suzaku's hand, anchored his heels into the bed — it creaked, and Lelouch whimpered again, finding no energy to arch closer or pull away, _pain, pain,_ but a thought broke the surface of his daze. _I'm having sex with Suzaku._

It was worth it. All of the pain. The torture, the lies, the tension, the _betrayals_. All of it. _Worth it._

"A-ah … L-Lelouch …" Suzaku said. Everything was so tight, so hot. He kept pressing kisses down his neck and chest, watching Lelouch squirm underneath him. _We … We're actually having sex._ Suzaku wanted it fully, and so did Lelouch, so he supposed he shouldn't be surprised. Yet there was something surreal about this moment.

Suzaku had pushed in completely by now, filling Lelouch all the way. Lelouch hissed — the pain was so _good_. _Excruciatingly_ good. Lelouch's erection throbbed, a fire beyond his wildest expectations ravaging his internals, his mind, his everything. _Suzaku is mine. He's_ mine _._

"You're _mine_ now," Lelouch said, a low rumble, tapering into a purr. His hands, which had been gripping Suzaku's thighs, groped their way to Suzaku's face and caressed his cheeks with rough insistence. The burning wouldn't cease, roaring in Lelouch's veins, his heartbeat preaching for non-stop action.

Images flashed of all the things Lelouch could do to him. All the things they've done. All the possibilities.

Tears ran down Lelouch's face until he could taste them — _salty like Suzaku_ — but the joy was indescribable — _blistering, invigorating, perfect._ "Y-you, Suzaku Kururugi, _are all mine._ "

Suzaku let out a moan at the way he started talking to him; he couldn't help it. They had barely started, and his mind was a whirl of pleasure, lust, and heat. _Yes. Perfect. More._ He groaned, gripping onto Lelouch's sides. "Yours," he murmured lowly. Because it was true. Now he really was Lelouch's and vice versa.

Lelouch smirked, his next gasp transforming into a scream, his legs suddenly wrapping around Suzaku's hips and driving him _deeper_ — holding him there, slamming him up against Lelouch's willing prostate. "M-mine!"

Lelouch made a simple movement, but he had pulled Suzaku _closer_ and so _deep_. Suzaku's eyes shut tightly. _I'm inside you._ Suzaku tilted his head back, letting loose a scream of pleasure. The heat coiled in his gut and pulsed in his length. _So tight._

Suzaku leaned into Lelouch's skin, enjoying the way it sparked everywhere they touched. His face burned hotter, heart pounding in his throat. _More. Lelouch, please._ He panted heavily, feeling sweat drip down his face. It was so _hot._ "A-ah … Y-yes, I'm yours …"

Lelouch took pleasure in Suzaku's scream, his confession, in watching Suzaku's utter _submission_ , the blush that spread from his handsome features and swelled inside of him — _Mine! You're finally mine!_

Laughter, dark and triumphant escaped Lelouch's lips, his handle on Suzaku tightening, their mouths nearly touching. The burning intensified. Lelouch knew what had happened, knew Suzaku might be afraid, but was confident he wouldn't pull away. _Because he's mine._

Lelouch vi Britannia smiled at Suzaku. His left eye blazed with the Geass sigil, a ruby of passion in the darkness.

Suzaku opened his eyes and stared down at Lelouch, but he didn't panic or pull out. _He …_ It was unbelievable … _No._ No, it wasn't. Lelouch had been having headaches, visions, spoke about his old memories. Suzaku knew Zero would eventually come back. There were so many signs before this.

_But now?_

"Y-your eye …" Suzaku breathed. But after their conversations and time together, he no longer hated or feared Zero. _He's still Lelouch. He's still my friend. My love._ He shook his head. "Wonderful timing, Zero," Suzaku teased with a chuckle. "I suppose now we should wrestle, considering how much I hate you?"

_Wonderful timing, indeed._ To be back in his own body — and to have his special somebody in it too — was both the biggest frustration and brightest relief. Suzaku was _his_ , they were sharing a moment of unrestrained intimacy, and Lelouch got his Geass back in relative seclusion. Aside from Nunnally and C.C. still being missing and a thousand obstacles ahead, Lelouch couldn't have asked for anything better. _What will Nunnally say when she hears I gave my virginity to Suzaku?_ His smirk grew.

"I love you too much to fight you now," Lelouch spoke in a low hum, his chin tilting up so he could capture Suzaku's mouth in his. _A taste._ He dragged his teeth gently across Suzaku's lower lip, suckling on it briefly. _A tease._ Lelouch's hands dropped to Suzaku's bare chest, feeling his heartbeat, the beading sweat, trailing his fingertips in tender patterns around his nipples. Lelouch flicked them softly, grinning wider. "However, I couldn't deny you the satisfaction of _punishing me_ some more —" Lelouch pinched Suzaku's nipples with a smirk, drinking in the sight of him, "— so please feel free to pound me into hell."

Lelouch's movements made him eager, excitement filling his veins. Suzaku shuddered, leaning against him with each sizzling touch.

Suzaku was a little afraid, somewhere deep down, but it was mostly about Zero killing more people close to him. But he wasn't going to let that ruin anything. Not now, not when he loved Lelouch too much to care whether or not he was Zero. _He's still Lelouch, and he's still mine._

Suzaku smirked back, looking into his eyes. The scarlet red made him feel vulnerable, submissive. But it was hot, and he wouldn't want it any other way.

"Oh, you want me to punish you?" Suzaku paused, moving his hips. "In that case, then …" He began to thrust, letting out a soft moan at the friction. " _Yes_ , Your Highness," Suzaku purred, starting to get into a pace and making love to Lelouch.

Truthfully, it still hurt. Lelouch's stamina was pitiful, the little bit of thrusting attacking his sore insides, his body feeling exhausted even in the midst of his high. There was so much blood in Lelouch's erection, and his body felt beyond hot and bothered by Suzaku, each smash against his prostate causing Lelouch's insides to burst with pleasure again, _again, harder._

"Y-yes!" Lelouch choked out. He craned his neck into the pillow, eyes shutting and rolling to the back of his head. _Suzaku. Yes, Suzaku …_ Lelouch's limbs went limp, his legs no longer helping Suzaku along, his arms resting on the mattress, fingers and toes twitching with the intensity of each thrust.

Suzaku wasn't going that fast or that hard yet, but Lelouch was unused to the sensation, his breath becoming ragged, his heartbeat pounding in his ears, his length begging already for attention so he could release the building pressure. And _pleasure_.

Suzaku leaned forward, loving every second, every moan and gasp that left Lelouch's lips. He gave Lelouch what he wanted and more, kissing his jaw and neck, panting heavily. Suzaku picked up the pace, but with how tight he was, and hot, and the sounds, _oh, the sounds_ Lelouch was making, Suzaku wasn't going to last very long. Already, he could feel the pressure building in his lower body, compounded by the need and love he felt for Lelouch. _Oh damn, so amazing …_ "Ngh … L-Lelouch! I-I ah! I love you so much."

"Su-suzaku! I — I love y-you … T-tou—" _Touch me down there._ Lelouch whined, blush reddening, his eyes just barely opening enough to look at him. _Suzaku, touch me._

Suzaku gazed at Lelouch, their eyes meeting again, and he understood his silent plea. He moved his hand, reaching between them and rubbed Lelouch's length. _Yes, I will. Anything for you._

" _A-ah_ —" Lelouch keened happily, stimulated everywhere.

Lelouch would have made Suzaku pull out if he didn't touch him then. Or perhaps it was just a thought, a fleeting indulgence. He liked being in control. But Suzaku made him want to give his power all up, hand it over on his knees and beg to be stepped on.

It wasn't like Lelouch could have actually _acted_ upon the ideas he had, especially if it meant getting in the way of something Suzaku wanted.

But right now, Lelouch was all Suzaku's.

He wasn't sure which part of him was more on fire. Lelouch's member felt incredibly sensitive — even more than the rawness of his insides — and the barest touches sent Lelouch into heaven. He shivered, the chills lighting every part of him aflame. Suzaku's pounding, coupled with the way he was stroking him, made his body sing. More. More. " _Yes._ Suza-ku …"

Suzaku let out a loud, breathy moan. He wasn't going to last much longer with Lelouch saying his name like that … _Yes!_ He had to focus extremely hard on his movements, continuing to touch Lelouch to the rhythm. He'd found a solid pace, rocking Lelouch into the bed, the mattress creaking with each thrust.

Suzaku's hand sped up, pumping up and down Lelouch's whole length, giving him exactly what he wanted. "A-ah … Lelouch!" Suzaku almost collapsed with the next wave of heat. Suzaku's fingers determinedly brushed Lelouch's shaft a few times, trying to get him closer.

Suzaku felt his legs tense, toes curling. He groaned louder, head getting foggy. "Ngh … Damn … Lelouch, I-I'm a-ah … getting close!"

Lelouch keened, muffling the sound in the pillow so Sayoko wouldn't feel the need to barge in — by now, if she entered the house, she'd probably already realized what they were doing. But Lelouch was mortified by the evidence of the _agony_ that was holding on any longer. _Spill inside me; I don't care._ Lelouch couldn't form the words, gasping loudly. The only noises he could make were broken moans of _love_ and _Suzaku_ and _yes_.

Suzaku's hand moved with near expert skill. Lelouch vaguely registered feeling impressed by him, but ecstasy had already overridden the thoughts in Lelouch's mind.

Lelouch's erection gave one last shudder, full — _Suzaku made him feel full_ — Lelouch did not move his head in time. His scream of bliss was unrestrained, a sigh and a laugh, the world made all for Suzaku. The static sizzling of his nerves exploded, uncoiled, _Suzaku_ breathing in _life_ to Lelouch, and Lelouch giving back — giving _so much_ back —

" _Suzaku —!_ " Lelouch cried, body arching into him. Cum shot into Suzaku's waiting hand, splattered warm and wet across Suzaku's stomach and Lelouch's thighs, getting the bed dirty as well. _Good._

Lelouch whimpered again, sleepiness shrouding his vision, but he realized Suzaku still had a bit more to go. Lelouch opened his legs wider, ignoring the wince of pain at having to keep going, and smiled at Suzaku to finish.

_So … So hot, Lelouch. Yes._ Suzaku drank in his cries, loving each of them. He, too, felt the pressure building and curling, his own length throbbing inside Lelouch. "L-Lelo-Lelouch, _ah …_ " Suzaku didn't care about the noise they were making. It was too wonderful to be embarrassed about. Too much lust. Too much love.

Suzaku panted heavily, replaying the memory of Lelouch quite literally coming undone underneath him. The way he looked during his climax made Suzaku shudder and twitch in pleasure. He felt Lelouch tighten around his member. That was all he needed to push him over the edge. Suzaku thrust twice more after Lelouch came before he climaxed.

Suzaku threw back his head with a scream of delight, squeezing his eyes shut. "Lelouch!" He moaned his name loudly, cumming deep inside him. His toes curled and his legs shook, the waves of pleasure spilling throughout his body.

Suzaku panted heavier than ever, body shaking as the exhaustion hit. He had good stamina for his first time, but now he was spent. Suzaku slowly pulled out, smiling when Lelouch gasped. Suzaku opened his eyes, looking at Lelouch and the wonderful mess they'd made together. "I … I love you."

"I love you," Lelouch echoed, grin watery, his red eye glowing with joy. He shivered when Suzaku finished pulling out, feeling so _raw_ and empty, yet filled all the same. He sensed he was still leaking Suzaku's gift to him, but Lelouch was more concerned with what they were about to do. _Not only about the mess, but also my Geass … and Suzaku's loyalties._ "A-allow me to help you clean up …"

Lelouch turned to his side with some difficulty, noting with a blush the haphazard way they'd scattered their clothes on the ground, the backpacks still sitting where they were before, unopened. It was dark, but Lelouch made out the shape of the bedside table and the tissue box on top. When he tried to reach for it, he hissed, the strain causing him to flop face-first on the bed. _Damn, Suzaku …_

Suzaku blushed and gently grabbed Lelouch's hand, telling him to stop. "I've got it …" Suzaku smiled, knowing that Lelouch was too tired and sore to move much. He grabbed some tissues, cleaning up the mess, but purposefully got some cum on his fingers. Suzaku licked it off, humming at the oh-so-good taste of Lelouch. "You taste wonderful, Lulu."

Suzaku grinned, finishing cleaning them up. After he tossed the papers, he pressed his lips on Lelouch's, soft and caring. He was tired too; nevermind how sticky and sweaty they were. Suzaku laid down next to Lelouch, cuddling into him.

"That was fun. Sorry you won't be able to walk well tomorrow," Suzaku teased, but he found he wasn't that sorry. He would love to see Lelouch stumble, knowing it was because he had claimed him as his.

Lelouch took a moment to bask in Suzaku's embrace, relishing the easy peace between them. _It's as if our problems have melted away._ He felt no worry, no hatred, and no sorrow when he hugged Suzaku like this — their naked forms melding together, soothing and warm. Lelouch kissed Suzaku once more, slow and sweet and deep. _Mine._ He could faintly taste his cum on Suzaku's lips, slightly bitter, but the first thing Lelouch did was compare it to the delicate saltiness of Suzaku's own — _Suzaku tastes better._

"I welcome the thought of being reminded of you every time I take a step," Lelouch said. He nuzzled Suzaku softly, happy butterflies tickling his insides. He could sleep here in his arms for the rest of time and be okay with it. _If I ever die, I want to die in your embrace._ Lelouch's past was too tainted for such a merciful end … especially if tomorrow actually intended to come.

Suzaku, too, felt warm and cozy. The soothing touch of skin on skin relaxed him. It lulled him into a peace that made him forget everything else. _I wish this could last forever._ Suzaku knew that he needed to treasure this, especially with the reckless and violent Zero returning to ruin things once again …

"Suzaku … thank you. But … I need to ask you something. Where is Nunnally right now?"

And then Lelouch brought up Nunnally, which didn't surprise Suzaku, but the answer would probably make Lelouch leave his arms or at least get mad … Suzaku sighed. _But he deserves to know._

"Nunnally is with the Britannian royals in Pendragon. Charles has her. She's being taken care of by them." Suzaku paused. He only knew this from being the Knight of Seven. "I'm sorry … If I hadn't been so angry with you, we probably could have saved her then."

_So she's alive._ Lelouch's body relaxed. He gave Suzaku another kiss, running his hand along his side. _A reward for being so good._

"That's fine. As long as she's alive, we can get her back …" Lelouch said. _It just makes it easier for me to get my revenge._ "So … does this mean you trust me? The fact that we're together like this?"

Suzaku hesitated at the question, not because he didn't trust him, but because his feelings still confused him. "I trust you. I just worry you'll return to killing those who don't deserve it, especially those close to us."

_Euphemia …_ Suzaku swallowed, thinking through his words. He couldn't allow his grief to rise up again.

"I just wish you wouldn't use cruel methods to attain peace. To me, you're a hypocrite in that regard. Blowing up buildings, destroying people's homes, killing innocents …" Suzaku trailed off, still nuzzled into Lelouch anyway. _It's why I fought you. Got so angry._

"You're a good man, Suzaku. Much better than me," Lelouch said. The sacrifices Lelouch made were in Nunnally's name, but he knew the hypocrisy of it. In truth, Zero's crimes were unforgivable but necessary for the fall of the Britannian Empire. If not for Nunnally, Lelouch might just break from the weight of it. _And Suzaku isn't much different._ "Those who kill others must be prepared to die themselves. I never once ignored the consequences, Suzaku. When this is over, I'm sure the world will have their justice. At a high cost, yes, but justice will be had."

Suzaku smiled weakly, his cheeks burning. In truth, Suzaku didn't feel that great of a person either. He tried his best, but Suzaku always fell short. "Thank you, but we both have sinned. We've both done things that can't be redeemed." _My father … My hands._ Suzaku gazed at Lelouch, still afraid somewhere in his heart, but he knew it was the truth. "If you can promise the world justice and peace, I will follow you. Anything you want." He kissed Lelouch's cheek.

_This easy?_ Lelouch's composure cracked, tears blurring his vision. _It must be his hormones from sex. He doesn't really mean that._ Too good to be true.

But Lelouch wanted this so badly. Those words, Suzaku's allegiance, Suzaku's forgiveness. Suzaku by his side. _Forever._

"I promise you," Lelouch said. Even if he was simply humoring himself, he took great satisfaction in saying it. He continued to pet Suzaku, feeling him, memorizing him, marking his presence for the moment. He spoke firmly but tenderly, as if not to break the quiet of Suzaku's breathing. "I will do everything in my power to end Britannia's tyranny. With you beside me, I know we can accomplish any task. You may even keep me in check, an honor I would bestow upon no one else."

Suzaku needed to be by his friend's side. He loved him too much to leave, not after everything. Even if he still disagreed with him about his methods or the way Zero used people as pawns, Suzaku couldn't bring himself to hate him. _We've been working for the same thing the whole time … just differently._

Still, he was surprised Lelouch would take his offer after Suzaku betrayed him. "Really? Lelouch, I'm sorry about that day. I'm the reason you lost your memories … and you still want me by your side?" Tears filled Suzaku's eyes, but he couldn't wipe his smile. "Thank you …"

Lelouch smiled in turn.

Suzaku leaned into his gentle touches. "I would be honored to be your knight." He kissed him again, running his fingers through Lelouch's hair. "Yes, Your Highness."

Lelouch moaned again despite being tuckered out, his body aching, but his heart overjoyed. He kissed Suzaku, pressed closer, hummed into his mouth. _Happy. So happy._ "I — I love you. And — I am honored to have you. The best knight in all the world."

Suzaku held him tightly, petting his hair and keeping Lelouch close. "I love you too." The compliments stirred joyfully within Suzaku, giving him strength. "I promise to protect you. For our love and for the world."

In thanks, Lelouch kissed him, licked and tasted the inside of Suzaku's mouth, the perfect, plump curve of his lip. Maybe Lelouch was selfish for making him say all this.

Considering Lelouch already had an order for his knight, one he was still unsure about. _Yet there is no other way if we are to continue together._ From what Suzaku had let known, Britannia was watching. Listening. _Hidden cameras? Tapped phones? Sayoko? Could Suzaku be lying to trick me?_ Lelouch sucked gently on Suzaku's tongue, breaking away for a single breath of air. They were both growing sleepy with love. _No. He's not lying. Not to me._

_So sweet._ Suzaku moaned happily into his mouth. They'd be together for real now, a king and his knight. He was tired, and Lelouch's warmth was slowly relaxing him.

"I don't know how much you know," Lelouch murmured after the kiss, "but I cannot control my power anymore. As soon as anyone sees me, they'll know that I've regained my memories. Also, there is a danger I may accidentally harm others with my power if I am not one-hundred-percent careful."

Suzaku looked at Lelouch, more specifically, his Geass eye with a worried frown. "Yes. We'll have to hide it …" Suzaku agreed, thinking of Villetta and her surveillance. "As you know, the bedrooms and bathroom are safe. I um …" Suzaku blushed, embarrassed. "I was actually working for them … and I managed to get them to turn off the cameras and mics in here." He laughed. "I said I was sure nobody wanted to see us having sex. At the moment, it was a play to get you privacy, but I guess it ended up true. As for tomorrow, I can get you colored contacts. But if you're worried about hurting others with Geass, you just need to be careful of what you say."

"Okay. Sounds like a plan," Lelouch agreed. _He seems prepared. How long has he been expecting to join me?_ "The issue is that I don't believe Britannia would hold off on the footage and recordings just to appease you, not if they're going through all this trouble. They may be listening to see if you're colluding with me and have held off on telling you they know. Or … perhaps they have the footage stored somewhere where they can access it if they have cause to. In that case, we will want to get rid of it before they see it."

They were possibilities. Suzaku didn't have a way of knowing other than that he was pretty sure that if Villetta had looked, she'd know he wasn't lying about the sex part.

"Yes. Unfortunately, I don't know details since I haven't talked to them in a few days, and I don't know all the workings of their systems," Suzaku admitted. "It also depends on how you want to proceed, Lelouch. Will you keep pretending to be a student? Or will you strike them down now before word spreads?"

"Excuse me? Suzaku? Are you serious?" Lelouch frowned, brows furrowing. _Why is he suggesting that? Is he okay?_ The Suzaku from before would never suggest such a thing — definitely not if he wanted to keep his position. _Has he given up on changing Britannia from within?_

Suzaku shrugged. His mind wasn't working correctly anyway. Not after their session. "I'm tired. I figured that's what you'd want to do. You're the man with the plan." Suzaku yawned, still cuddled into him. "I'm simply the knight, my king. I will follow you anywhere." Suzaku lovingly smooched Lelouch's jaw and neck, mind foggy with warmth.

_I was right._ Lelouch smiled through the disappointment, extending his neck and letting Suzaku kiss him there. _He isn't like me. He doesn't want to think about politics in bed._ Lelouch supposed that was fine; he loved Suzaku anyway, but that also meant everything he'd said up until then should be taken with a grain of salt. _Except his love. He loves me._

"I'm going to continue playing the part of a student until we can figure out how to drive suspicions off of me," Lelouch said, mostly for himself. He touched Suzaku's fluffy brown curls and ran his thumb along his handsome face. _I love you. My knight._ "I'll talk to you again in the morning when you're awake. The best-case scenario would be to get some colored contacts now, confirm if Sayoko is related to this, and permanently block at least one camera so I can change my contacts later … but if they can hear me now, there's a chance they may have been waiting for my Geass to reappear and will come to get me tonight —"

_Keep me warm, company._ Suzaku loved on him as he talked. He could barely focus on what he was saying. _I like your voice …_ Even if he didn't understand all the strategy.

Suzaku shut him up with a kiss, nibbling on his bottom lip. He pulled back for air.

"Just shut up and sleep with me. You need rest after tonight," Suzaku said. "All your problems can be dealt with in the morning."

Lelouch paused, remembering his exhaustion, his own desire to rest with Suzaku, to enjoy the night in his arms. Yes, if Nunnally wasn't a concern, Lelouch would do just that.

"Suzaku, you know very well I can't waste time," Lelouch protested, beginning to get up, when — _ah._ Right. Lelouch cursed and collapsed back into Suzaku's hold, not that he'd moved much in the first place. _Suzaku's in a daze, and I'm not fit to walk around. I — I suppose I have no choice._

"It's your night off. You deserve it," Suzaku said, grinning when Lelouch fell back into his arms. "Don't think you're getting away from me for a while. You're mine, love." _Stay with me. Please._ Suzaku wrapped his arms around him tighter, not wanting to lose him.

Lelouch melted, his mind dozing in Suzaku's warmth. He hugged him, relaxing. _You're right._ "Okay …" Lelouch put his head in the crook of Suzaku's neck, breathing in their mingling scent and the comforting musk of sex. _Yes._

Lelouch found he no longer had the will to leave. If he could stay and sleep with Suzaku forever, he would be happy with that … _Or maybe I'm a bit delirious too._

As he held him, Suzaku's breathing evened out. "Thank you … for everything. I love you," Suzaku whispered. _You fit perfectly in my arms._

Their shared warmth combined with the exhaustion from sex made Suzaku fall asleep, cuddled close to Lelouch.


	8. Chapter 8

**White Knight AU 8**

_Suzaku._ Lelouch stirred, his eyelids heavy, the covers pulled around his naked body. He ached, yet the warmth that surrounded him made up for it. Lelouch allowed himself to doze. His black hair was plastered to his cheek from pressing his face into the pillow.

Thanks to the curtains, it was dark. In a few minutes, his alarm would sound to get ready for school. But the comforting body next to him made Lelouch want to stay and enjoy the peace.

_Suzaku …_ Because soon they would have to talk. And Lelouch couldn't promise the outcome would be a good one. _Let me enjoy it a little longer …_

Reluctantly, Lelouch pried his eyes open. Suzaku had rolled unceremoniously onto his back during the night, an arm still outstretched for Lelouch. Carefully, Lelouch scooted over to him, curling as closely as he dared, and shut his eyes. _I really do love you … so much. Suzaku._

The first thing Suzaku felt was warmth. _So warm._ He was comfortable. So comfortable he never wanted to move. Yet Suzaku slowly gained consciousness, his memories returning to the surface as someone stirred next to him. _Lelouch._

Suzaku opened his eyes after a moment, his vision blurry and heavy with drowsiness. Sure enough, Lelouch's familiar bed-head rested against his chest. _He's really here with me._ Suzaku smiled.

After a few minutes, Suzaku moved a hand to Lelouch's hair, petting him. "Good morning," Suzaku said softly, voice deep from sleep.

_It's over._ Lelouch kept his eyes closed. He leaned into Suzaku's touch and ignored the alarm when it sounded. But Lelouch had a duty to Nunnally … and he'd already wasted too much time. He could not be selfish anymore.

Lelouch opened his eyes. "Good morning, Suzaku."

Suzaku yawned, hearing the alarm go off and being reminded of school. He let out a soft groan of protest. He'd enjoyed his time with Lelouch, annoyed it had to end. "I hope you slept well." Suzaku had slept great. There was something soothing about another person in bed. _Not just anyone, but Lelouch._

"Yes, I slept well," Lelouch said. He frowned when Suzaku finally turned the alarm off, bracing for what would happen next. _Suzaku doesn't seem upset … but he's also barely awake._

Suzaku took a while to fully wake up, and slowly his memories came back into focus. _Lelouch is Zero. He's back! This isn't good … What if he kills so many more people? Euphy, I'm sorry …_ Suzaku felt a twinge of disgust at himself. _I was too busy having sex with someone I love to understand._

But Suzaku had also been prepared for this. Ever since Lelouch's headaches, Suzaku knew there was a chance of Zero's Geass returning. He never said anything to protect what their relationship had blossomed into. Suzaku had thought that maybe if he pretended like nothing was going to happen, then it wouldn't. He had wanted to protect their school life from getting disrupted. He had wanted Lelouch to live a normal, happy life without supernatural powers, war, and crime.

Suzaku glared at Lelouch, unable to hide his turmoil. "Give me a reason why I shouldn't turn you in this morning."

_Welcome back._ Lelouch pushed himself up, considering Suzaku while trying to stamp down the fear budding in his chest. He recognized that he was completely at Suzaku's mercy and had been for the past year. It was nothing new, nothing he couldn't handle. Not if what Suzaku was looking for was the truth.

Normally, Lelouch would resort to clever remarks to protect himself. But he did not have time for that, nor did shielding his heart with the false confidence of banter seem the right thing to do.

"Because if you turn me in, you'll be playing into the hands of Britannia," Lelouch said. "You've seen what the emperor works for with your own eyes. You've seen how he rules his people, and you know that as soon as I'm captured, I'll have my memory wiped and you'll lose me to be used for his purposes. I am a threat to you if I'm found out, but I'm also your greatest asset. Currently … judging by the fact that I'm still here, you are the only one who knows my memories have returned."

Still … Suzaku needed Zero to swear something if he wanted Suzaku to truly be his knight. _Can I trust you and your words?_ Suzaku was angry at himself for being too dazed last night to understand, but he knew it was probably for the best that they spoke now. That and his desire for Lelouch had overpowered his hate back then.

Suzaku took Lelouch's every word into account. He had good points but … "And what if you're manipulating me to save your own skin?" Suzaku said. "Are you going to use me like a pawn too? Kill me when you're done? Toss me aside?" _Zero always sacrificed others in battles … Who's to say he won't do the same to me when he doesn't need me?_

Suzaku couldn't kill himself anymore. But he didn't want to give his life to someone who didn't deserve it.

_But … if Lelouch loves me, he won't do that._ Suzaku sighed, trying to calm down. "I need you to swear to me a few things before I will officially follow you. And swear on your love for me and your life," Suzaku said. "Because if you break these promises, I _will_ kill you … no matter how much you mean to me. The safety of the world comes first."

"I swear I am speaking the truth to you. It's not like I can stop you, should you ever choose to kill me," Lelouch said. He was not hurt that Suzaku suggested being betrayed by him. He expected it, although the ferocity in Suzaku's tone twisted Lelouch's heart. Lelouch held his gaze, hands resting atop the covers between his legs. "You have no reason to trust me, but I'll say it anyway. I love you too much to hurt you. Zero may have a motive to lie to regain his freedom, but what value does that freedom hold if you're dead or hate me again? You are also valuable, Suzaku. Not only to Zero as an ally, but to me as my best friend, and to your people as their advocator and protector. You are irreplaceable, so I swear to you I will never try to harm you."

Suzaku relaxed a little at his words. He couldn't fully trust him at the moment, but if Lelouch made efforts to prove to him that was the truth, Suzaku would help him. _I still love you too … even when I'm angry with you._

"Fine," Suzaku said. "But I want you to make sure you prove that to me. I won't tolerate you lying to me. This is the only second chance you get." Suzaku paused. _I'm actually glad he can't use Geass on me again right now …_ "One more thing. I want you to swear that you'll stop treating people as pawns and try not to kill them. I understand that we're fighting a war, but if you truly stand for peace, then only kill those who are guilty."

_There are other pieces on the board, and I have my knight. I don't need to sacrifice pawns to win._ Lelouch didn't enjoy killing innocents anyway. It was a bargain deal. _Fair enough._

"I swear. I'll do my best not to kill innocents," Lelouch said. "If you ever doubt my word, you have permission to punish me how you see fit. I do not make sacrifices lightly, but I see now how I should have avoided making them at all. Every innocent death weighs upon me. I can never atone for them, but hopefully I can find a more peaceful path to a gentle world. With you by my side, I have no doubt it's possible."

_Good._ Suzaku could settle for this. "I will punish you if you do hurt someone who doesn't deserve it. Hopefully, that alone will keep you in line, Zero." He made his tone harsh, serious about that. Especially when things got rough, Suzaku had to pull Lelouch back.

"I'll behave." Lelouch had to physically bite back his smirk.

Suzaku sighed and then gave him a sweet smile. "I believe you. And I want to trust you. So for now, I will," Suzaku said. _I really care about you, even after everything you've done._ "I love you, and I will help you. As your knight." He smirked. "Anything for you, Your Highness."

* * *

_Pounded into hell, indeed._ Lelouch could not move, could not speak. Quite literally. He got seated just before the bell. Sitting proved to be more of a pain than he'd anticipated. Suzaku _continued_ to exceed expectations.

Not only was he able to procure violet contact lenses for Lelouch, having bought them days before — _he chose me all along_ — but Suzaku also filled Lelouch in in record time. (In both senses of the word.)

Lelouch knew Villetta's true purpose. He knew the location of the OSI's hide-out, and he knew about the emperor's memory wipe on the students of Ashford Academy. Sayoko's memory had been wiped from what Suzaku had heard, but she was cleared of suspicion and appeared to prioritize Lelouch. And Lelouch also knew for a fact that Suzaku had been serious when he'd pledged to be Lelouch's knight. Perhaps not in name, but in spirit, though Lelouch didn't mind quite at all.

Suzaku cast the occasional glance at Lelouch to see if he was alright. So far, so good. _Seeing him limp to class today was the best._ Suzaku hid his smirk. Even though his friend was in pain, it had been worth it. Every second.

Suzaku was surprised to see a familiar red-haired girl step into the classroom. _Kallen._ She had been gone for a while, but it looked like she was returning to school. Ever since the memory wipe, Kallen had been made to believe she really was sickly. Because she was a Black Knight and didn't know Zero's true identity, she was useful to the search for C.C.

All of the others had been captured and waited for execution. As far as Suzaku knew, they would only be safe until Zero revealed himself. Not that he cared about what happened to terrorists. Same for the Kyoto House and his cousin Kaguya.

But … if Suzaku was Lelouch's knight now, it might be okay to save them. If they could share a goal, it might be okay.

He didn't have to hate them for their violence. Or for being stronger than himself.

Suzaku smiled at Kallen, excitement in his chest. _I still have to thank her for the mall that day. It was quick thinking. But it's funny how much this whole thing revolves around people at this school._

Kallen took a seat a few rows away from them, covering a cough. She looked healthier. It was as if Kallen was back at Ashford Academy to stay.

Lelouch also noticed her, but he forced himself to appear indifferent. He also tried not to look anyone in the eye — _If someone sees my contacts up close, they'll probably be able to tell I'm wearing them._ But apart from that, Lelouch knew his best bet to reach the Black Knights was through Kallen Stadtfeld. A classmate. _But also one of Zero's most trusted. If her memories are intact at all … then she's the key._

Kallen probably had an incredible amount of surveillance on her too. She was undoubtedly dangerous to Britannia. Enough to kill in other circumstances. Lelouch had to be careful.

Lelouch winced when he shifted so he could watch Kallen in his periphery. He glanced at Suzaku, smiled sheepishly, and slowly adjusted the cuff of his sleeve. A new signal that meant _I'll need a distraction_.

To the OSI, they might see Lelouch as shy or awkward after his night with Suzaku. To their classmates, perhaps Lelouch was just self-conscious as usual.

The only way Lelouch would know if she was an ally was to catch her alone. The sooner, the better.

Suzaku noticed the signal, but also Lelouch's pained shifting. Suzaku smirked, holding in a chuckle. He was still happy about yesterday. _Alright, my king._ Suzaku would be able to think of something.

Class began without anyone pointing out Kallen's return. Milly stood up front and took role, Rivalz helped ready the board, and everyone got to their seats. Overall, it was looking to be a typical, boring day — and yet Lelouch was anything but bored.

Lelouch tried not to let that show, however. It was easy after being exhausted from last night. He played his tiredness off as disinterest, rolling his pencil between his fingers. _We have a long day ahead._

Once class began, Suzaku was tempted to lean on Lelouch, but he didn't, leaning back in his chair instead. They both watched Kallen every now and then, but it looked like she was still sickly and tired as usual.

That was until Rivalz did what he did best. Halfway through class, Rivalz got the bright idea of playing paper basketball into the backs of people's seats.

Some of the guys thought it would be funny to play along until the teacher caught them or someone snitched.

Or until Kallen got hit in the head. Lelouch noticed her shoulders twitch, her hand strangling her knee underneath the table. She played innocent and gently set the paper ball on her desk, but it was too late.

_Kallen still has her rebellious personality._ Lelouch was able to deduce that much during class. He discreetly scribbled a note on a scrap of paper — _thanks, Rivalz_ — and tucked it away. The bell rang, announcing lunch break.

Lelouch was thankful that Suzaku was cautious enough not to interrupt the lecture. (At least not any more than Rivalz already did.) Lelouch _would_ need a distraction to get anything out of Kallen, but it would be risky no matter what. Lunch break was a solid opportunity.

"Oh." Lelouch turned to Suzaku. "I think Milly mentioned we only have two weeks of study left before finals. We should take advantage of our time during lunch."

Suzaku nodded. "Studying sounds perfect. Oh! As long as you don't mind some fluffy stress relief. I was thinking about feeding Arthur too." A statement that would come off as normal to the OSI, but he hoped Lelouch would know.

_A perfect distraction. That cat always goes crazy around me._ Suzaku chuckled, thinking of the chaos such a cute animal could cause. _Kinda like Lelouch._

"You masochist. You know that cat hates you," Lelouch said, unable to help it.

Suzaku laughed, shaking his head. "Oh, you have no idea," he murmured. Not that they had gotten to try much last night, but he was.

Lelouch almost looked when Rivalz threw a pencil across the classroom for Milly. Kallen had already left with the others for lunch, but she had to play off being the weakling, so Lelouch was confident he could catch up. "We should at least ask someone else to help in case things go badly."

Suzaku hummed. "Who do you suggest?"

Lelouch stood with difficulty, attempting to stretch the stiffness from his legs — _ouch_. Suzaku got him good. "The first person willing, I guess. Preferably someone in the student council."

"Well, that's where we'll go." Suzaku started heading towards the student council room. "Think you can walk?" he teased, voice quiet so only he could hear him.

Villetta conveniently finished cleaning up her desk about that time and left the classroom a few steps behind them. Lelouch didn't glance back, instead catching sight of Kallen turning the corner. It was true Lelouch was having trouble walking, but he could probably run if he had to … albeit with a limp. "Yeah, yeah. I can walk," Lelouch said. "Uh, there's that girl Kallen over there. Why don't we ask her?"

"Sure." Suzaku smiled, catching up with her. "Hey, you saved us at the mall that one day, didn't you? Thanks for that."

Kallen turned around, looking between Suzaku and Lelouch. "Oh, yeah. Um, you're welcome." She smiled shyly.

Lelouch didn't have to worry about accidentally using Geass on Kallen, but there was a chance she might notice his contacts. Or worse — notice a change in his behavior. Kallen knew him too well.

"We appreciate it," Lelouch said as he approached. "Do you want to study with us today? We need one more person to go with us to the student council room."

Kallen looked at him strangely, so Lelouch pretended to be interested in notices posted on the wall. He saw something about the school having a pizza festival coming up. _Again?_ If the OSI really wanted to find C.C., a pizza festival actually was their best bet. He smiled a little at the thought. _Don't worry, Nunnally. It won't be much longer._

Kallen frowned. "Are you —"

"We have to get started soon. Are you going to study with us? We can help you catch up," Suzaku offered sweetly.

"Uh, sure." Kallen wasn't going to tell Suzaku no. She was just as afraid of him for being the Knight of Seven as Lelouch was afraid of being found out.

Villetta had no excuse to linger around them. She passed with her clipboard in hand and cast Lelouch a strange look that he narrowly avoided returning. "Don't loiter in the hallway," she said. "Get where you need to be."

Lelouch bowed his head. "Yes, ma'am. We're going to the student council room." _I've used my Geass on Villetta before. She should be safe to talk to if I have to resort to that._

"Then go quickly."

"Yes, ma'am. See you later," Suzaku said nicely. He gestured for Lelouch to follow and headed towards the student council room.

Kallen slowly came with them, pretending to cough a few times on the way.

Lelouch couldn't hide his limp. _Doubtless, Kallen's noticed and is laughing at me right now …_ He sighed and closed the door behind them. "Kallen, could you help me feed Arthur? I would much rather Suzaku keep all his fingers."

"Uh … Sure." Kallen smiled and got the cat food out of the closet, making a show of shuffling around.

Suzaku winced and let out a yelp of pain. " _Ouch!_ There you are, Arthur!" He picked up the cat. "I hope you're ready for lunch too."

Of course, in response, Arthur bit his hand, harder this time for being picked up. And Suzaku made a louder whine of pain. _This is your distraction …_

" _Ow!_ Arthur, you know that's bad! Silly cat."

Lelouch was ready — although he wished Suzaku didn't have to hurt himself for the cause.

Lelouch's hand, previously at his side, slipped the note he'd written during class into a loose pocket on Kallen's purse. He didn't touch her, knowing her ability. In the same motion, Lelouch rushed to Suzaku's side. The cameras would see him trying to help his friend and nothing else.

"I thought I told you not to handle him!" Lelouch grabbed Arthur's scruff and pulled the cat away.

Suzaku didn't mind the bites. After all, Arthur was adorable, and this was for Lelouch. He could handle the pain. _I deserve it, anyway._ Suzaku smiled. "Ah, sorry! Couldn't help myself. Arthur's so cute, you know?"

Involuntarily, Lelouch's eyes roved over Suzaku's hand, checking to see if he was actually hurt. _Honestly …_

Suzaku was bleeding a little from the cat's claws and teeth, but there were some bandages in the closet. _I'll be fine, Lelouch. You're more important, after all._

Lelouch sighed, putting Arthur down after Suzaku went to take care of himself. Kallen went back to looking for cat food. _She didn't notice me slip the note. Good._

Hopefully, she wouldn't see it until she got home since the pocket had been on the side of her bag. If she did happen to see it next class, Lelouch figured he could divert her suspicions. Though he hadn't written Zero's name or even mentioned the Black Knights.

All Lelouch wrote was: _Someone owes you and your friends an apology. If they're still around, tell them to expect one soon._

Kallen was smart; if she had her memories, the first thing she would think of was to contact the closest of Zero's followers. The ones who escaped or evaded capture. If any of them had contact, Kallen could find out for him.

_They still believe Zero's dead and they have no idea who I am. Won't they be in for a surprise._

Tamaki would be irked for sure. Ohgi might take one look and frown. Nagata might get into an argument with Tamaki, and the others would join in until Ohgi took charge. _My knights._

Soon Suzaku might be there with them. The Black Knights could have disbanded entirely without their symbol, but Lelouch didn't believe that. _They wanted to fight to the death, and they'll keep fighting._

Kallen returned with the cat food once Arthur got settled and poured it into his bowl.

Lelouch watched Arthur gobble up the bits. "I still don't see why we need a cat at school. He's too much trouble."

Suzaku pouted. "He's great, even if he doesn't like me. Plus, he's the Student Council mascot now!" He grinned, noticing Lelouch seemed calmer. _He must have done what he needed to._

"You're too kind, Suzaku," Lelouch said. "Anyways, we fed Arthur. Let's get set up to study. Kallen, thanks for helping us. If you're hungry, I can pick up lunch for you. Otherwise, there should be snacks in storage."

Kallen smiled softly, taking a seat. "It's fine. Let's get started?"

"Let's." Lelouch slid a textbook over to Kallen, then another for himself and Suzaku. He lifted an eyebrow at Suzaku's bandages. "As long as you can focus with those grave injuries? I can't believe you still try to handle that cat."

Suzaku laughed. "What can I say? Arthur won a place in my heart." _As did you._

o-o-o-o

After school let out for the day, Suzaku decided to take his chances with searching the OSI. Villetta had to coach swim practice for another hour, so Suzaku had time to find out how much they actually knew about last night.

He told Lelouch to go home without him and went to the library. Suzaku found the entrance to the security room, going inside as soon as the coast was cleared.

There were only three men in the room. One of them was sleeping with his eyes open. Another was idly banging his head to music while staring at Lelouch walking across the courtyard. The third man was typing something on the keyboard. He looked up at Suzaku.

Suzaku smiled awkwardly. "Hey. I might have to adjust my schedule, so I figured I'd leave my report here on the computer since Villetta's busy."

"Oh, it's you," the OSI member said. "Good afternoon." He continued typing.

Suzaku hesitated. _These guys are barely focused._ He bit back a comment, deciding not to test his luck. _You have a mission._

Suzaku took a seat adjacent to the sleeping OSI member and opened up a new file. He started typing until the guard he spoke to looked away. The one who was listening to music and watching Lelouch on the screen didn't even glance over.

Suzaku actually was writing a report, just in case. Basic things like how their grades improved, how they studied and cooked together, how nothing strange had happened.

Once the guards seemed occupied with their own activities (plus sleeping), Suzaku poked around the other reports, checking if they knew anything.

This, Suzaku discovered, backfired when the third guard frowned and said, "I hope you know I can see your activity from here. The general doesn't keep anything of interest to us in that thing. If you're worried we can still see you pissing, we haven't taken any footage of the bathrooms since you requested us not to."

"No, I'm … more worried about last night's events getting spread around. I kinda … It was personal." Suzaku blushed bright red, closing the programs he'd opened. "Um … you guys didn't see anything, right …?" _How embarrassing. But Lelouch and I need to know …_

This caught the attention of both OSI members. The guard who had been listening to music took his headpiece off one ear.

The typing guard lifted an eyebrow, his cheeks reddening. "I … only work first and half of second shift. I haven't seen or heard anything that's happened at night since it's classified. This idiot next to me hasn't either, since we work together."

_The guards don't know … But it doesn't mean anything if Villetta does. How can I get into classified files?_ Suzaku glanced away. "I um … Well, I was serious. And oh, thank goodness you guys didn't, um, see all that." It was a small relief.

At this, the other guard took off his headset completely, even turning off his music. His jaw dropped in disbelief. "Wait. _Wait._ You were — you were _serious_ when you said you do sexy things with Zero? I thought like … Is — is he a good kisser?"

_Huh?_ These guys definitely weren't professional. But … Suzaku supposed he could humor him. "Uh, yeah," he answered with a smirk. " _Really_ good, actually."

The guard who asked shifted, his gaze flickering to Lelouch on the cameras. "A-ah …"

Suzaku paused, considering his next move. He looked over the screens, figuring it was okay to press on. "Has there been any news of C.C.?" He was genuinely curious, although for a different reason than them.

"Nothing." The third guard went back to typing. "We've been working on other measures to bring her in. Your … thing with Zero isn't exactly getting to her as far as we know."

The guard next to him appeared a bit starstruck. He leaned back in his seat, resting his cheek on his fist dreamily. "So. Do you think —"

The third guard glared at him and he shut up. The typing guard sighed. "Sorry. Don't mind him. He's got some weird cabin fever or something."

Suzaku nodded. "I see … Well, I thought it was worth asking." He fought the emotions in his chest, trying to appear indifferent. _Thank goodness she's alright, but Zero needs her …_

Suzaku returned to typing his report while his brain went on overdrive.

_Classified_ meant that the average guards didn't have access, only Villetta and the higher-ups. He would need to talk to her after all. _Sorry, Lelouch. I'm not a great strategist like you are._ Suzaku had a feeling his friend would be better at this.

The only direction Lelouch had given Suzaku was to leave if he couldn't access the system without being tracked. He wasn't supposed to delete anything, just to check if it was there, and then later he could have Lelouch use his Geass on a guard to delete it instead.

If Suzaku didn't want to frame a guard, he could also get rid of the files himself and take the blame — the excuse being that it was non-consensual porn. But it appeared Suzaku couldn't even do that. Perhaps they really didn't record anything …?

Suzaku wasn't sure since he couldn't access anything without raising any alarms. He decided he'd leave after he finished his report and have Lelouch help him plan a way to talk to Villetta later.

For now, he'd just have to let Lelouch know what he found out.


	9. Chapter 9

**White Knight AU 9**

Suzaku didn't have an opportunity to question Villetta for the next few days. Meanwhile, Lelouch seemed to be getting the hang of safely talking to people. So far, no one had commented on his contacts, and they didn't seem to show on camera. Villetta had no reason to suspect them since they played the good students at school and, of course, the inseparable lovers at home.

And so, Suzaku left his latest mission with the Knights to go grab some groceries and other things before coming home for dinner. It would be a quick trip to the mall and hopefully a welcome surprise to Lelouch when he returned.

Suzaku started shopping for food, deciding on certain meals they could make. He even found ingredients to bake cookies. _I bet Lelouch will enjoy making sweets with me._

Then Suzaku went to another section of the store. He grabbed some pain medicine and more bandages just in case, and then he searched for the last item he needed.

Ever since _that_ night, Suzaku knew he'd need to buy some lube. It would make their lives a lot easier. They were busy boys, but their relationship was blossoming by the day. It was only a matter of time until they had another night like that.

Only … Suzaku froze in the health and lotion area where he was choosing one when he saw a familiar face approaching.

"Suzaku! I did _not_ expect to see you here!" It was Gino, a Knight of the Round who considered Suzaku cool for whatever reason. Gino waved, a basket in his other hand. He glanced at the shelf and back at Suzaku, a flirtatious smirk crossing his features. "Looking at lubes, now? Who's the lucky gal? Or is it a guy you're enjoying without me?"

"I um …" Suzaku had no idea what to say, his face burning bright red. "Nice to uh, see you again, Gino. The mission today … went well."

"A guy then?" Gino grinned brightly, ignoring his pleasantries. Suzaku's reaction must have given it away. " _Wow,_ Suzaku Kururugi isn't straight after all."

"I guess I'm not."

Gino's arm playfully snaked around Suzaku's shoulders. "So, who's the man who won over your immovable, stone heart? Or is it more than one?" Gino leaned closer, smirk widening. "Oh, does this mean you'll _finally_ take me up on my offer? I'll have you know I don't disappoint …"

_Oh my gosh. Why?_ Suzaku's face turned even redder. He really felt tongue-tied now. "U-um, a classmate of mine. He's really special to me," Suzaku said. "So, no. I'd rather not do anything like that with you, thank you." He slowly shrugged Gino off of him. _I love Lelouch too much to do that with you …_

Gino let go before Suzaku could fully step away. Instead of pouting, he grinned wider. "A classmate! _Scandalous_ , Suzaku. I never would have thought!" The knight scanned the shelf, chose a bottle for himself, and then offered the same one to Suzaku. "Here. This is my favorite one. Results in _easy_ penetration, unless your lovely classmate isn't into that."

Suzaku hesitated but took the bottle anyway. He wasn't entirely sure what Lelouch liked. And Suzaku definitely didn't have enough experience to know what was best. But judging from the memory of that night, he thought Lelouch might have liked the pain.

"Thanks." Suzaku looked away from Gino, flustered. _I really should ask Lelouch what he likes next time …_

"I'm known to provide the hottest Britannian man-on-man action for a reason!" Gino winked, flashing a beaming smile when Suzaku looked at him in mortification. "Or man-on-woman. Or man-on-man-on-woman- _oh-man_. The possibilities are _endless_. Well, you know who to call if you change your mind! Your classmate is welcome too."

Suzaku nearly choked on air. "I — I did _not_ need to hear that!" he sputtered, although he felt a giggle rising. _You're such a character._ Suzaku sighed and gave him an awkward smile. "Anyway, thanks for your help." Suzaku appreciated it, even with all his jokes and flirts. "But next time, would you please keep your pornstar life to yourself?"

Gino gasped and shook his head. He clutched at his chest, feigning injury. "My poor heart; how could you _not_ be interested, oh Suzaku? But alright." He stood tall, laughing. "You're welcome. And by the way, your blush is adorable. Kudos to your classmate for bringing out the best in you. You've seemed happier lately."

_Happier?_ Suzaku didn't realize it until now, but he had been a lot better. Able to let go of Euphemia more and more and wish her a happy afterlife. Suzaku had mended his feelings about Zero, although he knew they'd still occasionally disagree given their conflicting morals. But he'd been generally a lot better. Of course the other Knights of the Round would notice.

"Yeah. He's really amazing, and I feel good," Suzaku agreed. "I'll definitely have to thank him." _With some kisses and cookies, of course._

"I should thank him too someday. Maybe then I'll learn his name. Good luck," Gino said. He turned to leave, but he stopped suddenly. "Actually. Maybe sooner than I thought. I've heard talk that me and Anya might join you at Ashford to help watch over Zero. I'll let you know how that goes."

"Oh?" Suzaku was surprised to hear that. _Villetta must be worried if she called in the other Knights of the Round to help._ He smiled anyway. "Wow, well, I can't wait to see you there."

"If not, see ya' on the battlefield, love," Gino said. "I have a date to get to, so I'll be going. Later!"

"Bye. Have fun on your date." Suzaku winked at him, teasing him after all those jokes he'd made.

_I hope we don't have to fight each other in the future._ Suzaku thought Gino was a nice friend, but he had to protect Lelouch. If it came down to it, Lelouch had Suzaku's loyalty. _Maybe Gino would understand …_

Then he too left the section of the store, finishing his shopping list.

o-o-o-o

As soon as Suzaku checked out and started heading home, he saw a fleet of Knightmares heading towards a tall building a few blocks away. They flew quickly, advanced military models, and didn't seem to be doing a drill.

People stopped in the streets to take pictures. Some of them ran in the opposite direction, trying to evacuate.

Suzaku knew something was up. _An emergency? Did I miss a call?_ He had groceries … But maybe they could wait. He pulled out his phone and ran towards the commotion anyway.

There were no messages waiting for him. Whatever was happening, he wasn't requested to be a part of it.

Suzaku frowned, debating whether or not to get involved without orders. _I should at least get closer to see what's going on. Hopefully, people won't get hurt._ He hurried across the street with his groceries in his hands, looking around.

Knightmares were starting to circle the building ahead. Two of them landed somewhere out of sight. More commotion erupted near the building, and although he couldn't see it, it sounded like something _exploding_ …

The quickest route to the skyscraper was the old subway line. The subway had been closed not too long ago for maintenance. Some people still walked through it despite the safety warnings. The subway was located a street down from where Suzaku was at, versus the longer winding path Suzaku would have to take above ground …

While he was deciding, someone appeared at the subway's entryway, wearing the uniform of a Britannian soldier — but they glanced suspiciously in Suzaku's direction and rushed back down the stairs.

Suzaku did a double-take even though she was gone. He swore he knew that gait. That expression. He hesitated to follow. _It's C.C._

He knew his entire mission was to bring her in, but he _hesitated_. Suzaku wasn't a fan of C.C., especially now that he was in a relationship with Lelouch. He was concerned about what her previous relationship with Zero was like …

Suzaku _could_ go and capture her. Bring her in. Get rewarded big time. Prove to Britannia that he could be trusted. Suzaku could finally fix things from within.

_But._ Suzaku understood if he did that, Lelouch would probably no longer be needed at school … And they could get separated. Lelouch would be pissed at him for doing such a thing. It'd ruin their chance to work things out together. They'd be back at square one. Hating each other.

Suzaku sighed and let her go, figuring she could save herself. Hopefully. He thought about fighting anyone who tried to go in after her. To protect her. But then the OSI would know he was against them.

Instead, he could try to talk to her, let her know what was happening and warn her to stay hidden. Before Suzaku knew it, he was running down the street, clutching his groceries close to his body. He knew where the next subway exit was. And in this panicking crowd, his actions wouldn't be too suspicious.

He made it to the nearest exit and went down the stairs, looking for her.

Suzaku heard the distant tap of footsteps on his right. It was dark and secluded, illuminated by the occasional lamp. But sure enough, that same Britannian-dressed person appeared at the far end of the tunnel, her eyes glinting amber and strands of green hair falling out of her cap.

Her footsteps halted.

"Hello, C.C.," Suzaku said, flashing a disarming smile. "Look, I won't try to turn you in or let them know where you are. But you _need_ to stay away from Lelouch and Ashford. They've been looking for you everywhere. Cameras are spread around the school, and they have scouts tracking Lelouch and me. You have to stay hidden."

C.C. frowned, her gaze sweeping past him. No one else was around, though there was still chaos outside. The boarding station advertised the subway stop being closed until further notice.

"I find it hard to believe you'd let me go," C.C. said. "I thought you were appointed a Knight of the Round last year for turning Zero into the emperor. Don't tell me you regret your choice?"

"I don't regret it," Suzaku told her. "Thanks to my choices, I've been protecting Lelouch lately. He's … gotten his memories and Geass back as a result. I realized Zero and I want the same thing: world peace. If he could promise me that, I would help him." Suzaku paused. "So helping you is helping him. You can't be seen at the school. If you need somewhere to go, I suggest finding the remaining Black Knights. Kallen might be able to help you as long as you can avoid the OSI."

C.C. considered him for a moment, her lips quirking into a smile. "I see," she said. "You've fallen in love with him. I can't blame you; he has charm. It's pathetic how we sympathize with our dark hero, isn't it. He aided in his half-sister's death, who was once your lover, and yet you still are infatuated with him. Funny how things change."

Suzaku wasn't sure how she knew all that. _Damn witch._ Either way, he supposed he couldn't deny anything she already knew. "Yes, and if you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from him." Suzaku's stomach churned with jealousy. "I don't care who you were to him in the past, but he's _mine_ now. And I'm going to protect him," he said. "So I'm letting you go."

"How kind of you," C.C. said. She tipped her head, thinking. "But as long as he has the Geass I've cursed him with, he will always be tied to me, regardless if he likes it or not. And you are incredibly lenient to allow me to escape. Especially since it was really _me_ who you should have been hating. My power has killed many, including Euphemia, and it will eventually drive Lelouch to madness."

_Euphemia?_ Suzaku knew Lelouch had killed her with Geass. But C.C. was making it sound like it wasn't Lelouch's fault.

_"I can't control my Geass."_ Hadn't Lelouch said something like that before?

"What do you mean about Princess Euphemia?" Suzaku asked. "Did Zero mean to kill her or not?"

"I wonder," C.C. said unhelpfully. She adjusted her gloves, glaring up at Suzaku with eyes like honey covered in bees. "My point is that you can't get rid of me. You'll see me again sooner or later, and if Lelouch's power continues to grow, you'll want me around for it."

"What's done is done," Suzaku said bitterly, fighting the emotions welling in his chest. "I can't change that he has Geass, but … Thanks for the warning." Suzaku would just have to be there for Lelouch as long as possible. Suzaku didn't think he hated C.C., but he definitely didn't like her, that was for sure. "Stay hidden the best you can. And don't come to Ashford for _anything_ until Lelouch reaches you. It's too dangerous."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. You forget I don't want your kindness," she said. C.C. turned and continued walking along the subway line towards Ashford Academy. "He still has to fulfill his end of the promise we made. And only he can do it."

"At least wait till we can get it settled! There are too many people looking for you." Suzaku rushed ahead, stepping in her path. He was tempted to throw his grocery bags at her, but he held back. "Lelouch is doing his best, but they have non-stop surveillance on him. To draw _you_ out. They know about his Geass, and they're suspicious of me. One wrong move, and it's over. Wait until we get rid of the cameras at least."

She smirked. "You must _really_ love him."

Suzaku blushed, but even as she said so, he realized he'd missed Lelouch after being away for so long. "Yes."

"Fine. I'll look for the escaped Black Knights." C.C. tucked the loose strand of her hair into her cap. "Tell him I'm not waiting long, though. If he doesn't get in contact with me in a week, I'm coming to see him myself."

"Understood." Suzaku could leave it to Lelouch to figure something out. "Thank you."

With one last look, Suzaku left the subway, the clacking of C.C.'s shoes echoing in the opposite direction.


	10. Chapter 10

**White Knight AU 10**

Suzaku made it back to the clubhouse, thinking of what he found out about C.C. and the Knights of the Round. He put away the groceries first, and when he pulled out the lube, he used it as an excuse to get his boyfriend into the bedroom.

From there, Suzaku told Lelouch everything, summarizing his crazy encounters, and warning Lelouch about what C.C. had said.

"I'm not sure who to be worried about," Lelouch said finally, "the OSI capturing C.C., Britannia finding out about your loyalty to me, or Gino stealing my boyfriend."

Suzaku laughed. "Well, Gino's not taking me from you, my king. I'm not interested, and I told him so. Secondly, I want to keep my position as a knight to gather information and influence. So I won't be compromising that." Suzaku sighed, leaning on the bed.

Lelouch hugged Suzaku's waist as he did. At some point after having sex, they must have decided independently that they were boyfriends. Judging by Suzaku's lack of surprise, Lelouch was probably in the clear. _It feels nice to say._

"I told C.C. to stay far away, but she probably won't listen," Suzaku added.

"Chances are, she'll find a way to show up before the week is over," Lelouch said. "Even she isn't stupid enough to make a move before my safety can be guaranteed, but — no, she's _exactly_ that stupid."

Lelouch rested his shoulder on the pillow next to Suzaku, adjusting his hug.

"We have about four days," Lelouch continued. "There will be a school festival on the fifth day dedicated to flaunting her favorite food, so you bet she'll try and stick a thorn in my side by then."

"If only I had a lifetime's supply of pizza stashed far away from Ashford." Suzaku cuddled closer, finding that Lelouch was warm and comfortable. Suzaku gently kissed his forehead.

"If you mean the Pizza Huts on the other side of the world, I have no doubt she's already sucked their inventories dry," Lelouch said. He gave Suzaku's cheek a return kiss. _I love you._ "Regardless … I believe we can work our way to freedom in four days. The other Knights being called to enroll here shows the emperor is getting impatient. Perhaps they also fear me. Whichever way, it proves that the OSI doesn't have as much intelligence as we thought. If we can upend Villetta's focus, we should also be able to take control of the unit."

Suzaku was still smiling from the kiss. _I love you too._ "Sounds like a plan. I'm sure we can work something out. Considering Villetta's working as a teacher and a swim coach, there should be lots of opportunities."

"How good are the hidden cameras the OSI uses?" Lelouch found Suzaku's hand and threaded their fingers together. "It's a stretch, but if we do it just right, maybe you or Sayoko could switch places with me while I infiltrate the OSI. Of course, it would be after we determine how much of a threat Villetta poses. And whether or not Sayoko can be trusted."

Suzaku thought about it but shook his head. "They're good cameras. They don't pick up on small things like your contacts, but we wouldn't be able to pull off a swap like that. You'd need really good disguises." He squeezed Lelouch's hand supportively.

"I have no doubt I could get us some wigs and more contacts, but … you're right that it'll take a lot to match your perfect good-looks." Lelouch said it with a smirk, but he wasn't kidding. Suzaku's handsomeness was unmatched. "We'll have to do something else. Get Kallen to bring back info on the Black Knights, maybe."

"I'm sure you'll come up with some good ideas." Suzaku held Lelouch close, warmth spreading through him. "Thank you for the compliment, though. But you're not bad yourself. You're gorgeous. And your eye-colors, violet and red, go together well." _Especially in bed._

Lelouch wasn't wearing his contacts. He took them off whenever they were getting ready to sleep, as well as during their bedroom snuggle sessions. It wasn't because he couldn't sleep with them — Suzaku, for some reason, vastly preferred to see Lelouch's real eyes in bed.

"I have sex with you one time and suddenly you can stomach Geass," Lelouch said. "I must have claimed your mind as well as your heart and soul."

"Well, technically you claimed my mind with your first order to live." Suzaku meant it as a tease. Surprisingly, his bitterness at the thought faded. Mostly. "I know you don't want to hurt anyone. You have too much love in you." Suzaku kissed him sweetly. "No, I don't fear your Geass anymore … As long as you don't kill innocents with it."

"I wholeheartedly wish to avoid hurting anyone who doesn't deserve it. With you at my side, I have nothing to worry about," Lelouch said against his lips. It felt surreal to be kissing Suzaku and speaking as Zero at the same time. _Well … Zero is technically dead. Until I'm free again._

"Glad we're on the same page." Suzaku would follow Lelouch as long as he respected that promise.

"Suzaku … could you humor me for a moment?" Lelouch pulled away and leaned on Suzaku's shoulder.

"Hmm?" Suzaku held him close. "What is it?"

"Do you think Zero should exist?"

Suzaku hesitated. Part of him wanted to say no. Zero was a symbol that stood for violence and reckless sacrifice. But … _He fights for the right thing. A peaceful world._ Suzaku sighed. "I think the idea of Zero is good, but the way he used his symbol to kill so many isn't good," Suzaku said. "He shouldn't exist in that light. If Zero becomes a symbol for peace instead of terrorism, he should exist."

"You're not wrong to hate him, Suzaku. Even _I_ hate Zero," Lelouch said. "He masquerades as a hero to the weak, despite him being arguably the weakest of all. However, Japan honors him. He's respected even as he's despised and challenged. You could say … a necessary evil. A hypocritical sinner leading the hopes of other hypocritical sinners."

Suzaku listened to Lelouch. After everything, he had come to understand both Zero and Lelouch better. _You're trying to change._ Suzaku softly kissed his cheek. "Yes. Don't get rid of him, but maybe change his meaning a little bit."

"It strikes me as ironic that I was born a worthless young Britannian prince, and yet I managed to accomplish this much as a nobody … Though I managed it with Geass," Lelouch admitted. " _You_ , on the other hand, have claimed your position without supernatural powers to aid you. You were born into a minority but still found a spot of influence that others can only dream of. And even now, I am nothing compared to you. Nothing without you."

"I only managed my position through betrayal," Suzaku confessed. "I'm not that much better than you." _I killed my father, you know._

Lelouch sighed, his other hand tracing Suzaku's muscles through his shirt. Warm. Strong. Comfortable. _You make me wish I could be simpler. You make me want to be just a schoolboy again, your boyfriend, or maybe even a real prince with you as my knight._

Suzaku smiled, leaning into his touch. "I think you could have done things without Geass, you just needed the self-confidence and support. But thank you, I'll be here as long as you need me." _You're still amazing. Don't ever forget that._

Lelouch's insides heated in appreciation. He hugged Suzaku closer, tempted to imagine a happy future for them … one that might allow them both to live.

"I don't deserve you. You're too kind," Lelouch said. "Anyone who knows what I've done can agree that I should be punished. Your betrayal only hurt me because I wanted to save Nunnally. Otherwise, I understand why you did what you did."

"I still feel kinda bad about it, though," Suzaku said. "Using my best friend — well, also enemy at the time … to gain rank. It was selfish of me. For a while, I thought you'd be really angry with me if you got your memories back." Suzaku was glad that wasn't the case, especially with how things had played out.

Lelouch _had_ been angry with Suzaku, but he had regained his memories in the midst of feverish desire — after that, Suzaku had pledged himself to Lelouch, and there had been no reason to hold a grudge. It was not only less convenient to be angry, but also against the love he felt for Suzaku. So he'd dropped it. _If not for us having sex, it may have turned out entirely different. I wouldn't know this happiness._

Lelouch glanced at the window, though they had pulled the curtains taut for privacy. He ran his thumb over Suzaku's, his blush rising. "Actually, I've forgotten how easy it is to be myself around you. I'm always having to act, even around Nunnally. But when I'm with you, I feel like I don't have to hide who I am. Only one other person has come close to that."

Suzaku gently ran his fingers through Lelouch's hair. "It's good that you don't feel like you have to hide with me. We trust each other. And I like this version of you. Both Lelouch and Zero at once."

Lelouch arched into Suzaku's touches, his body alight with joy. "I'm glad," Lelouch said. "I really do wish I didn't have so many personas … but I suppose we all have our own masks."

"Yes, we do." Even Suzaku did. He had to be his lover, a student, a knight, a spy.

"Also — if you ever think I'm talking too much about plans or politics, let me know. I don't want to overwhelm you," Lelouch said. "You probably get enough of that already."

Suzaku laughed. He appreciated the sentiment. "Alright, I will. I do my best to understand everything, but you know that's not how I work," he replied. "But I want you to be able to talk about it if it helps you, so you don't have to hold back."

_Oh, you'll eventually regret that._ Lelouch smirked. "Excellent. I want to say that while on the topic of C.C., I was able to determine Kallen probably wasn't able to take her in. My guess is that she's currently with Kaname Ohgi, previously Zero's second-in-command. He's generous and has the resources to attend to her; he also lives alone."

"Alright." Suzaku had already offered to see the Black Knights sometime, so it was good to know.

"If so, that also reduces the chance Kallen will misinterpret my message. They can cross-reference their intel and get back to me with C.C. when she returns. Therefore, we can anticipate news within four days as well." Lelouch hummed, thinking. _Four days doesn't seem that bad._ "I have one more question. Are there any cameras _in_ the OSI base that feed into another live surveillance system? If there isn't an active team, we could possibly use other means to prevent the guards there from doing their jobs. Incapacitate them, allow me to Geass them into compliance, distract Villetta from realizing what I've done. There are options."

Suzaku let Lelouch think all this through, he didn't mind that much, leaning into him and listening carefully. Everything so far made sense. As for the question … "I don't think so. They mostly focus on you. The OSI base is below the library. They do have security near the entrance, but inside, no."

"Perfect," Lelouch said. "If you could tie them up or knock them out, I can take care of the situation while you speak with Villetta. We would be best to do this soon if you're up for it."

Suzaku hesitated slightly but nodded. "As long as they don't know I'm working with you. I still … would like to keep my ranking for as long as possible." He smiled significantly. Hopefully Lelouch would know what he meant.

"I'll make sure they join our cause. As it turns out, I'm quite persuasive." Lelouch snuggled closer to Suzaku, decided their position wouldn't do anymore, and laid his head in Suzaku's lap. He kept holding Suzaku's hand, playing with his fingers. Lelouch really wouldn't have minded living a normal life with him …

Suzaku held his hand and pet his hair. "You are." Even without using Geass, Lelouch had a way with people that even Suzaku couldn't resist.

Lelouch pecked Suzaku's wrist the next time it moved towards his face. Distantly, Lelouch wondered if his affection shone in his red eye as much as his violet one. _This is highly improper._ Lelouch brought Suzaku's hand to his lips, gracing it with another kiss.

_You're so sweet._ The kisses made Suzaku's skin tingle. "I love you too."

Lelouch would never tire of the words. Suzaku could tell him every day a hundred times, and still Lelouch would feel akin to a boy catching a glimpse of his childhood crush. It wasn't that much off the mark anyway.

"Hey … Suzaku …" Lelouch murmured, growing sleepy and comfortable. He was so vulnerable, so warm, so cozy, that Lelouch felt the need to say something stupid. "Do you have any hopes for your future?"

Suzaku relaxed with Lelouch in his lap. It was such a nice feeling he almost didn't register his question. _What do I want?_ A few answers came to mind, most of them consisting of his job and Lelouch. "Hopes …" Suzaku echoed. "I hope that we can achieve world peace, and that I may help carry that peace as your knight, solving problems. I hope … that you'll stay with me. That we can be together, without the worry of racism of a Britannian prince with a Japanese …"

Lelouch remembered the pride Euphemia displayed at being Suzaku's, standing hand-in-hand with him. But even then, they had put up with discrimination. Their smiles had been mainly for show. Lelouch did not believe a utopia without prejudice could ever fully exist, but he wanted to set the foundation for a world that would come close to it.

_Have you found something to live for? Have you forgiven yourself?_ Lelouch knew the answer, knew Suzaku knew the answer, but he said nothing. In time, perhaps Suzaku would be able to love himself as much as Lelouch loved him. "All fantastic aspirations." Lelouch smiled. "Do you know what I wish for?"

"No. What is it?" Suzaku smiled back.

Lelouch didn't view himself as a romantic, yet the sweet nothings of a fantasy filed in his mind. But he wasn't bothered by it, not then.

"I want to end Britannia's rule, relinquish my Geass, forget my role as prince. I want to save Nunnally and whisk us away to live together — regular lives by the riverside, cooking meals from the market, inviting friends to share in our joy. A ring on your finger, nights of just you and me …" Lelouch kissed Suzaku's hand again, a nostalgic sadness settling in his chest. "These are the things I think of when I'm feeling extra diabolical. When I could forsake humanity for a few seconds just to indulge myself. They're impossible things. I would never deserve them."

Suzaku blushed as he imagined what that would be like. Lelouch just wanted a normal life, something that had been stolen from them as kids. Suzaku pet Lelouch's hair then traced the shape of his cheek, touching the skin there. "That sounds beautiful," Suzaku said. "I would love that fantasy." It was so sweet. _We've had pretty bad lives so far, huh … I understand your wish._

_Am I … crying?_ Lelouch swallowed, blinking the wetness from his eyes. He felt so small, so vulnerable. He wasn't crying anymore, but his heart ached.

Ached for that future that would forever be out of their grasp.

_It's easier to hate. Hating is so much easier than loving._ Lelouch realized how Suzaku had felt. Hating was how Suzaku had coped. Lelouch had been starting to do the same, and he would have, if not for Suzaku's assignment to him. Borne out of love. _Hope. Do I have the right to hope?_

_Is he alright?_ Suzaku noticed the shift in his behavior. _He needs my support._ Suzaku lifted Lelouch up so he could properly hug him. Suzaku would be there for as long as he could. _As long as you want me to be._

"It's alright." Suzaku understood why he'd be upset. Their future couldn't possibly turn out that way. It was merely a fantasy, but Lelouch seemed to really want it to be real. _I do too._

Lelouch returned the embrace. He no longer felt the need to cry, but his emotions were burning inside of him. Lelouch focused on the hug, on the proof that as of now, he had at least one of the things he wanted. _Suzaku. I promise I will always be by your side. Even if we part, I am forever yours._

Lelouch savored the hug for a while longer. Until his tumbling emotions started to settle. He was not fool enough to try and reject his need for comfort. Lelouch didn't have to be strong because Suzaku was his strength. For those numbered seconds, Lelouch was appeased. _Thank you._

"Alright," Lelouch said, and his voice was steady once more. "That's enough nonsensical wallowing on my part. But … know that I envision myself always by your side from now on. You're not only my best friend, but also my love, so of course I'll do everything I can to keep us together."

Suzaku softly kissed the top of his head. _I'm here. I'll always be here for you when you need me._ He smiled, feeling Lelouch relax in his arms. Suzaku hoped that made him feel better.

"Sounds perfect," Suzaku said. "I will follow you anywhere forever, my king."

o-o-o-o

Suzaku's next order from Lelouch was to go into the OSI base and let Lelouch in. Suzaku was a bit hesitant, as it would be the first time he used deceptive tactics against Britannia, but he felt no guilt. Suzaku promised Lelouch that he would follow him as long as Zero didn't kill innocents.

_I hope he keeps his word. For his sake and mine._

Suzaku easily snuck in and knocked out the guards before they could call back-up. He cleared the path for Lelouch so that they'd be able to get their business done.

Lelouch would be arriving at six-o'clock, under the guise of going to the library to study. He had insisted for fifteen minutes to search the premises and Geass the guards into submission. Suzaku would have to stall Villetta for that long if she wasn't already preoccupied with coaching the swim team.

The metal door separating the OSI surveillance room and the hallway opened, Lelouch stepping inside. "Couldn't bother to leave one of them conscious for me?" Lelouch teased.

Suzaku shrugged with a grin. "They could wake up any minute. I didn't hit them that hard." Compared to the amount of damage he was capable of dealing, Suzaku hadn't hurt the guards that badly. _Even if they work for Britannia, they're fairly innocent._

Suzaku went back to the entrance so he could stall Villetta should she return when Lelouch was still inside.

Once Suzaku left, Lelouch glanced over the screens, taking note of which angles could be seen from which perspectives. The guards had already unlocked the computers, so Lelouch had an easy time flipping through the channels. _I don't see any cameras in the school stairways, a few of the halls, or the classrooms I don't attend. No cameras in the bathrooms except mine, but the feed has been cut. I can't find recordings of the bedrooms here, but there are cameras on the outside windows and the courtyard leading to the clubhouse._

As for the audio input, Lelouch put on a headpiece and began sliding through the active feeds. He only could hear things in the clubhouse and the student council room. It seemed that there were other inputs, but they were disconnected. Lelouch smirked. _Convenient they should place all their trust in the staff and Suzaku to watch me._

That made for twelve more minutes to devote to deleting information and using Geass on the guards. Lelouch walked over to where Suzaku left guards knocked out and disarmed in the corner of the room. Lelouch noticed one man was breathing a little more erratically than the others. _Pretending._

The past few days, Lelouch had practiced using his Geass with his contacts on. Small orders worked perfectly. Longer-term orders worked if Lelouch was specific enough, otherwise the wording would confuse them. It was manageable, but Lelouch removed his left contact anyway, dropping it into his pocket.

"You there," Lelouch said. "I know you're awake."

The guard stiffened but didn't dare look up, probably knowing this was a coup. "So?" the guard said. "That just means I can report you and Kururugi as soon as the general gets back."

"I don't believe you're in a position to argue with me." Lelouch stepped forward, aware of the short distance between them. Thankfully, Suzaku had already done him the favor of tying up the guard's wrists. "Besides, I have your weapons and your communication devices. If you wish to live, you'll cooperate."

"You won't kill me. You need me." The guard kept his eyes shut, but his voice wavered.

"You being alive makes it easier for me, but I can do without. I have the passwords, and I know everything you do," Lelouch said. He turned, glancing across the room. "For example: there is an emergency self-destruction mechanism that only General Villetta Nu can activate. She didn't tell you about it, did she? I can tell by your expression. It was installed in case one of you turned against Britannia and compromised the mission's success. And I have the password. If you help me, I won't activate it."

The guard paled. "H-how …?" He finally looked at Lelouch. "Fine. What do you want?"

Lelouch smiled, his eye blazing scarlet. _Excellent._ He activated his Geass in that second of contact, synapses sizzling, his will being directed into the man's mind. The demon parasite, blistering its way to recognition. " _You will work for me from now on._ "

The guard's eyes glazed over, rimmed with red. "Yes."

The self-destruct mechanism had been a bluff, although Lelouch wouldn't be surprised if such a thing really existed. He pulled a pocket knife from a tossed-aside coat, undoing the guard's bonds. Afterwards, Lelouch slipped the knife into his dress pants. _Just in case._

"Alright. I want you to first show me where the recordings are stored, especially those of the clubhouse bedrooms," Lelouch said. "Let me see the feed when you do. I also want you to alter any reports that have to do with my Geass returning so that we'll be free of suspicion."

"Okay." The guard moved to the computer and pulled up the files. "We were instructed to stop recording in the bedrooms."

True enough, there were no files after the date Suzaku told the OSI to stop. Likely due to what they had done.

_Interesting. Does Villetta fear Suzaku's position after a—_

The headset Lelouch was wearing pinged all of a sudden, Villetta's voice traveling through the speakers. Lelouch quickly snatched up another headset.

_"OSI commander Villetta Nu speaking. Status report of the past three hours requested."_

Lelouch took his headset off to whisper orders into the guard's ear. "Tell her I'm studying in the library. Everything's fine."

Lelouch slipped the extra headset over the guard's head, but as he did, he noticed the other two guards stirring. _This is bad._

The guard responded to Villetta, reporting that Lelouch was studying. He continued with the previous orders on the computer.

Lelouch put his headset back on to listen for further orders, but it seemed like the guard's report had been enough. Villetta ended the line as soon as a second guard opened his eyes.

"Wha—?" the second guard began, his jaw dropping. His eyes squinted with the beginnings of a smile. "It's — _Lelouch_ , oh, _hey_ there, I heard you're a good k—"

" _You work for me. Follow my orders._ " Lelouch ignored the harsh burn as their minds connected, but then it was over.

The second guard's face pacified, but he was smiling.

_What?_ Lelouch shook it off. "Uh, once you're released, I want you to search for any evidence of Suzaku helping me hide my Geass."

"Gladly. I am _much_ obliged, Your Highness," the second guard said. He struggled against his bindings, accidentally knocking into the third guard. "Outta my way! I have to follow orders!"

The third guard knocked his shoulder backwards into the second guard's chest. "Idiot! What are you _doing?_ We're tied up!"

"Well, get _un_ tied up!"

"You're a pea-brain!" The third guard grunted and rolled over, his eyes catching Lelouch's — "Huh?"

" _You work for me; follow my orders._ " Another flash of electricity, then Lelouch was done.

The third guard's eyes went red. "Yes, master."

The second guard roared in protest and began struggling again. "What do you _mean_ , _'yes, master'_? Lelouch is _my_ master!"

"Bonehead!"

Lelouch blinked and cleared his throat. "I have a boyfriend. Anyways, let's make this easy. Stay still while I release you."

o-o-o-o

Suzaku heard footsteps. He prayed they weren't Villetta's. Turned out, it was just the librarian. Suzaku quickly picked up a book and pretended to read as she walked past.

_Yeesh._ Suzaku sighed. He had to stay vigilant. Villetta was bound to return soon. _Lelouch, hurry up …_

Sure enough, Villetta appeared in the windows not a second later, wearing a button-down shirt. She glared into the library from the hall, her eyes catching on Suzaku sitting alone. She sped up towards the doors.

_Uh oh. Time to distract her._

"Oh, hey! I was looking for you. Can we walk and talk?" Suzaku asked when she entered. "I'll buy you a coffee at the front."

"I don't want coffee right now." Villetta's piercing gaze swept the library. "Where's Lamperouge? I thought he was here with you."

"In the restroom," Suzaku lied. He grinned, getting an idea. "Probably … because I said a few _things_ while we studied."

Villetta's expression stayed the same. "Perhaps it would be wise of you to go in there and ask him to see me, then. I have something to discuss with him before I can make other plans."

"You don't want me to do that. I guarantee you that we won't be out for a while," Suzaku said quickly. "I wanted to talk to you anyway. Lelouch shouldn't be much longer."

A girl sitting nearby glanced up from her book and blushed. She made a valiant effort to keep her face hidden after that.

"I can also have you both doing detention for PDA, Kururugi. I don't care if you're a knight. The rules are the same." Villetta stepped into the library and turned in the direction of the secret entrance. She hummed. "How about we talk here while I wait for him?"

Detention didn't faze Suzaku that much. In the face of war, something so mundane wasn't really a threat. If only to his school record, maybe.

Suzaku shrugged, beginning to panic while he tried to think of another plan, and then his eyes lit up. "Actually! You have to come with me. There's something I found that you should see."

This time, Suzaku pulled her arm like an excited kid and took her into another row, where he had seen a swimming book before. "I figured you could use some tips, maybe. As a thank you for being such a great teacher and swim coach!"

Villetta snatched up the book as if barely restraining herself from hitting him. "These are all _basic_ tips, Kururugi. It sounds to me like you're stalling for something —"

"Suzaku?" Lelouch peeked around the corner, his eyes violet, head tipping in confusion. "There you are. I thought you had to leave."

Suzaku smiled at Villetta. "I guess I'll have to talk to you later. I do think you are a wonderful teacher and coach, ma'am."

Villetta ground her teeth, huffing, but whatever she had to say didn't come out.

Suzaku turned towards his boyfriend. "Eh, I was just talking with our teacher. We have to work on math still, right? I wouldn't leave. But … did you get your business in the bathroom taken care of?" He winked.

Lelouch blushed for real. His imagination was spinning about the diversion Suzaku chose for Villetta. It was the perfect excuse to avert his gaze. "I … did, yes. Um … actually, I'm tired now. I just wanted to see if you wanted to walk home with me."

Villetta slammed the book back onto the shelf. "Lelouch. I wanted to remind you that you have finals coming up next week. I expect you to stay focused."

"Yes, ma'am," Lelouch said. "Suzaku's helped a lot, so I'm feeling good about them."

"Great." Villetta didn't sound very happy, but she walked past them.

_That's a relief._ "Of course I'll walk home with you!" Suzaku said, still playing along. "Let's get our things." Suzaku walked with him out of the aisle. He felt a lot better now that Villetta didn't find out about Lelouch. _Even if she suspects me, I'll take the blame, I suppose._ Suzaku gazed significantly at Lelouch, but he wouldn't say anything without being in the safety of their bedroom.

When Villetta was out of sight, Lelouch leaned close to Suzaku at their table, murmuring in his ear. "Good news. The plan was a success. There aren't any audio feeds in Ashford except in the student council room, and no audio outside. They use scouts whenever we leave the school grounds. Scouts have audio recording with them, but we should be able to talk in more places if we're careful."

That was indeed good news. Suzaku nodded. "Got it. Are the guards … okay?" He wanted to make sure Lelouch didn't kill them. Suzaku was still unsure how he felt about Geass, but as long as no one was harmed …

"Mentally, I'm not quite sure. One guy wouldn't shut up about how he wanted to kiss me, and the other one just wouldn't shut up." Lelouch smirked. "Physically, they're fine. They'll do anything I tell them to and will listen to you as well, so if you beat them up, it's on you, love."

Suzaku laughed at that. He couldn't help it. Lelouch's story sounded entertaining, at least. More than Suzaku's nerve-racking stalling session was. Suzaku almost wished he'd been there to see it.

"Looks like someone has a crush," Suzaku teased. "Maybe he's spent too many hours working there. But he couldn't have been as bad as Gino. That flirty knight."

Lelouch grinned, unable to resist dangling his phone over Suzaku's shoulder like he did the night when they had sex. "Oh. He also gave me his phone number."

"Oh no, should I be scared?" Suzaku chuckled, rolling his eyes. "That I'm gonna lose my boyfriend to a Britannian?"

"That makes two of us." Lelouch pulled back and sent the guard's number to Suzaku. "We can issue orders this way in case there's an emergency. I told him to use a code for updates that might concern us."

"Oh." Suzaku hadn't thought about that. He realized Lelouch's orders didn't have to be verbal after the initial Geass. "Nice! Sounds great."

Lelouch gave Suzaku's arm a pat. "Yes, great." Lelouch pulled on his backpack and turned to smirk at him. "Now, what's this about me in the bathroom?"


	11. Chapter 11

**White Knight AU 11**

The pizza festival was coming up fast, and Lelouch had a problem. Namely, as soon as they were back in class after the OSI infiltration, Kallen resumed her absence streak. Ever since Lelouch passed her Zero's note, she had become more stiff and antisocial. And after Suzaku bumped into C.C., she must have found more pressing matters with the rest of the Black Knights. It _could_ have been a coincidence, but Lelouch sensed too much tension in her body language to believe that.

_I could try calling her as Zero, but that would also reveal my identity to her … and I won't be able to call her from a working payphone or use a business phone without suspicion._ Lelouch wasn't sure why he was so against her knowing who he was. Perhaps because she held a grudge on Zero for abandoning them … or perhaps it was something else. _My Zero costume and extra flip-phone were confiscated when my memory was wiped._

A messy meeting with C.C. at the school festival was seeming more likely than ever. _And it's tomorrow._

Lelouch swallowed the last of his meal then pushed up from his chair, fork clattering on his plate. "Excuse me. I'm feeling stressed out by finals. I'll go to my room for a bit."

Sayoko nodded and started collecting the dishes. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

Suzaku watched Lelouch leave, concerned that he was upset by more than just finals. Suzaku followed Lelouch to his room, hoping to be there for support, if anything.

"Are you alright?" Suzaku asked once they were in the bedroom.

Lelouch slumped into the chair at his computer desk. He sighed into his hands, glancing through his fingers at Suzaku. "Not exactly. The festival is tomorrow. It's going to be a disaster."

"Do you say that because of C.C.?" Suzaku asked, stepping closer. He took Lelouch's hand to comfort him. "If there's anything I can do …" _Within reason, of course._

Lelouch almost pulled away, but although Suzaku's actions bordered on pity, he appreciated the affection. Lelouch let his other hand drop to the armrest. "C.C. worries me, but I doubt there's anything you can do about that. I need to if the Black Knights are reachable, but I don't have the phone I used to get in touch with them, and it's too late to find a new one without revealing my identity." Lelouch deflated, his hand going limp in Suzaku's. "We'll just have to wait."

_I took his stuff._ Suzaku hadn't told him because even after their conversations, he doubted Zero's word. He wanted to make sure things would be different. A lot different.

Suzaku had his own worries about Zero's return. He didn't want him to be a terrorist. Zero's symbol needed to be used for peace. And Suzaku needed to find a way to use his earned status to make it possible.

Suzaku averted his gaze, sighing. "I can help you, but I have a few conditions for Zero before I give you his things back," he said, glaring at Lelouch. "I refuse to give you what you need until you promise me." _I won't let the old Zero return._

Lelouch straightened, squeezing Suzaku's hand in surprise. _Really, now?_ Although he felt a little betrayed that Suzaku had been keeping secrets, Lelouch was pleased he stuck to his beliefs. He met Suzaku's gaze. "Alright. I'll hear it."

"I want Zero to change," Suzaku said. "Right now, he represents a terrorist. I need him to be a symbol of peace and hope. Which means you've got to do something to prove that. Not to me, but to the people."

Suzaku wasn't sure what Lelouch would have to do to accomplish that, but he trusted that he'd figure it out.

"If you promise to do that, I'll give you your costume and phone back."

_But how can a pacifist accomplish anything in this twisted world? Is avoiding innocent casualties not enough?_ Lelouch couldn't agree that shying from violence in a war would be effective. But he'd already decided to give up being Zero if it meant Suzaku and Nunnally were with him in the end. So Lelouch wouldn't argue. "I'll do my best," Lelouch said. "If the Zero we once knew needs to stay dead to create a better world, then so be it. I promise, Suzaku."

Suzaku knew he was pressuring Lelouch, but if they could minimize the death and damage, they could change the world without a huge war. "I know it's not easy, and I don't expect a hundred percent. I just want you to keep that in mind. Otherwise, I will remind you of the other promise you made," Suzaku said. "Your things are in my bedroom."

Lelouch stood, hugging Suzaku's hand to his chest. "Thank you. If you hadn't offered that, I would have said, 'I need kisses', but …" He leaned forward, nose an inch from Suzaku's. "You have some _lube_ in your bedroom too, don't you?"

Suzaku blushed, leaning into Lelouch's gentle touch. "Yes. And I can still give you kisses," Suzaku teased before delivering on his words, kissing his boyfriend.

Lelouch lingered at his lips. His frustration melted as long as Suzaku was loving him. At this moment, Lelouch didn't care about Zero. He stayed close until Suzaku broke the kiss, then Lelouch tugged Suzaku towards the door with a smile. "Shall we, then?"

_An excuse to get his things or an actual request for …?_ Either way, Suzaku would be happy to help Lelouch. "Of course."

Suzaku held his hand tightly and led Lelouch to his bedroom, holding him close.

Lelouch had said that to divert suspicion, but his heart pounded anyway when they went into Nunnally's bedroom. _I won't have sex with Suzaku here, but … it's tempting._

It looked different in the room. Nunnally's covers were changed, the pictures on her dresser were replaced, the small decorations she'd had were missing. All that remained was the furniture and a few of Suzaku's belongings.

As soon as the door was shut, Lelouch gave Suzaku an apologetic kiss. "I'd like to see about contacting the Black Knights now, if that's okay. Sorry for leading you on. I know I must have excited you …"

Suzaku laughed. "You weren't quite clear, but I suspected you just wanted your things." _Although I don't think I'd mind much if you wanted to do something else too._

Suzaku opened the closet. True enough, hiding in a locked box was the Zero costume, mask, and Lelouch's cell phone.

"Here."

"Suzaku, I'd give you a promotion, but you're already my Number One." Lelouch took the cellphone, flashed Suzaku a grin, then sat crisscross on the carpet. It was easier than sitting in the chair by Nunnally's bed. There were fewer memories. _As long as Villetta doesn't see, I should be able to use the costume another time. The guards have orders to delete any feeds related to Zero or my Geass._

With that, Suzaku sat behind him, wrapping his arms around Lelouch. "Thank you," Suzaku murmured, going quiet so Zero could take care of business.

Lelouch opened his phone, glad there was some battery left after a year and that all Zero's contacts were still there. _I'll try Ohgi first. Kallen second, if I have to. She'll be useful in keeping the festival under control._

_"Hello …?"_ Ohgi said, sounding wary.

Lelouch instinctively perked up, but Suzaku's hug reminded him that he would no longer be the same Zero. Lelouch put the call on speaker so Suzaku could hear every word.

Suzaku silently appreciated that, understanding it was Lelouch's way of telling him he trusted him and was trying to change.

"Hello, Kaname Ohgi," Lelouch said. "You probably don't wish to hear my excuses, nor will believe me when I say I did not intend to abandon the Black Knights in Tokyo, one year ago. However, as your former leader, I ask that you give me a chance to explain my actions properly."

Ohgi listened calmly. _"We assumed you were dead. You've been gone for a year, and many of us were captured and tortured because you left. The Black Knights have since disbanded."_ He paused. _"But … my gut wants to hear you out. If you really are Zero, please explain yourself."_

"I assume my message to Kallen wasn't received? Or are you searching for proof?" Lelouch asked.

_"Kallen told some of us in hiding about the note, but they were skeptical. A phone call is more proof than a note, but I doubt they want to follow you anymore. I'm sure you understand."_

"Give me a chance. I will do my best to speak to you all in person when the circumstances allow," Lelouch said. "As for my disappearance, it may be better to say Zero as we know him has died. I was forced to leave the battlefield to intercept the Britannian emperor while he was approaching Kamine Island. It ended up being a ploy to capture me. My lack of foresight caused me to leave the rest of you to fight without my guidance. That was a grave mistake that I realize I may never be able to mend, but I escaped and have learned much during the time I've been away. I have attained information from Pendragon, as well as potential allies that wish to aid our cause. I will also most likely be able to join you soon, though I know the Black Knights have fallen into a supposedly detrimental decline."

_"Our members were reduced to a handful since your disappearance,"_ Ohgi said. _"Poor morale too. News that Zero's alive is sure to bring people back, if only to get some closure. But … what exactly do you mean when you say you've changed?"_

"Our methods were working in the short term, yet we failed to do anything but smash a dent in Britannia. Especially considering the new weapon they've developed," Lelouch said. He gripped the phone tighter, taking a breath. "The Black Knights can still be successful in revolutionizing the world. But with our current standing, we are comparable to a grandly organized terrorist faction reduced to a simple annoyance. To really make a difference beyond winning battles takes diplomacy as well as tactical prowess. I believe we can try a less destructive approach now that reshaping Britannia from the inside is an option."

Suzaku smiled happily, pressing a gentle kiss to Lelouch's shoulder. _I can trust you. Thank you._

Lelouch relaxed a little at Suzaku's kiss, his unease dissolving. _It's not hopeless. Not completely._

_"I agree, if it's even possible."_ Ohgi wasn't one for violence. He considered it the only option in the beginning, but with Zero's guide and game, it didn't have to be. _"If you can convince them, I'm sure the remaining Black Knights will support you. If that time you spent at the capital earned you an ally, as long as we can trust them, I say go for it."_

"Thank you. I have no doubt that they are exceptionally trustworthy. I am willing to bet on them with my actual life," Lelouch said. "I will not disclose their identity until we can be sure the information will not backfire, since as of now, I cannot confirm that my return will be well-received."

_"Fair enough. But I will warn you that anyone I can gather up will probably demand this ally's true identity anyway, along with yours,"_ Ohgi said. _"We don't want to risk being led by a liar."_

"As it stands, you have always been the most understanding of our members. I appreciate that," Lelouch said. "I'll clear everything up during the meeting. If the Black Knights are opposed to changing our methods or refuse to accept me, I ask that you not pressure them. This will only work if they are present for my return, and I would prefer to meet all of my remaining followers. It may be wise to withhold how I've garnered connections until I am there to explain it."

Suzaku stayed supportive of Lelouch, leaning into him as he talked. _You can do it._

_"Understood. Let me know when you're able to return, so we can gather the Black Knights together."_ Ohgi said. _"In the meantime, I'll pass on what you've said."_

"Thank you for your cooperation, Ohgi. I do have one more question." Lelouch leaned into Suzaku. "Have you seen C.C.?"

_"Yes, she showed up randomly at my door the other day. Walked in and claimed the bedroom."_ Ohgi sighed. _"I didn't ask why, but I assume she's in hiding. Anyway, she's been ordering pizza constantly. I offered to make her food, but all she wanted was pizza."_

Lelouch laughed, though he smothered the sound. "Her tastes are questionable at best. I appreciate you putting up with her. Is she with you now?"

Ohgi paused, and the mic shuffled a bit. _"Yes … Did you want to talk to her?"_

"Please."

_"Hello, Zero."_ It was C.C. _"You got my message, then? We'll be meeting shortly. We have a contract, and I won't hide forever."_

Lelouch rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm well aware of that. I have no intention of shirking on our promise," he said. "I'd really prefer it if you waited for me to join you rather than come here. I've made the necessary arrangements, so we shouldn't be separated for much longer."

_"Good. Then I'll see you tomorrow. I expect the world's largest_ cooked _pizza."_ C.C. responded. _"Oh, and your boyfriend really loves you. He went out of his way to get you some lube, so you'd better be good to him in bed."_

Lelouch sputtered, his blush reaching his ears. _Ohgi probably heard that. Oh no._ "C.C. — you're really — you're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

Suzaku turned equally as red. _Leave it to C.C. to remember that …_

Lelouch vigorously shook his head. "I hope you realize that if Villetta or any of the staff sees you, you'll be captured again. I can't fulfill our promise if you're not around to tell me what it is."

_"I'll escape if I'm caught. I'm still going tomorrow. Figure out how to keep me safe if you're so worried about it."_ C.C. huffed. _"You owe me the pizza that I never got last year."_

Lelouch frowned. "Don't even _think_ about staying with me. I can't afford to be seen with you. _You_ might be able to get out, but if I'm caught, it's over."

C.C. sighed. _"Alright, fine."_ She didn't sound happy about it. But for the sake of their contract, Lelouch knew she couldn't afford to let him get caught. _"Hurry up, Zero. I'll stay here. Ohgi's a nice man. You were right to trust him."_

"In other words, he buys you pizza." Lelouch tried to relax, but the likelihood of C.C. staying away from the festival was low. "Anyway, I'm glad you're alright. Might not be much coming from me, but please stay safe."

_"Whatever,"_ C.C. said. _"I'll be fine. You're the one who needs to stay safe, Zero."_

Then she hung up on him, and the line went dead.

Lelouch lowered the phone, staring blankly at the box in the closet. _I miss that witch a little._ He was relieved that Ohgi had been considerate and all was going according to plan, but his heart felt heavy. Lelouch nuzzled into Suzaku's embrace, allowing the warmth to comfort him. "I'm thinking I should still call Kallen just in case," Lelouch said. "Thanks again for this."

Suzaku nodded, kissing his cheek. _He's still kinda upset. At least I'm here._ "Sounds good. You're welcome, love. Thank you for keeping your word."

"It'll be difficult to adjust, but as long as we can accomplish something, I believe it'll work out," Lelouch said. He considered his phone for a moment before finding Kallen's contact. He dialed.

Kallen's phone rang for a while. Finally, she answered. _"Zero,"_ she said. _"All I got was a note. After so long. Why did you abandon us?"_

"I did not abandon you," Lelouch said. "I had to follow the emperor to Kamine Island, but it ended up being a trap. It was my mistake to leave without a word amidst the battle, but I promise I meant to return."

_"I don't want to hear your excuses, Zero."_ Kallen exhaled, pausing a moment longer. _"I tried to follow you that day. But I got lost in the storm. You have no idea how I felt, thinking you might be dead because I couldn't get there in time."_

"I'm sorry."

_"I don't want to hear it! You can't just come back after all this and expect everything to be okay."_

"I understand the past cannot be mended by apology alone. I understand if you hate me. Regardless, I will be returning soon to speak with the remainder of our group."

_"Do you have any right to be our leader after all this?"_ Kallen said coldly.

"No, but I'm offering anyway."

_"You better prove to us you're still on our side and that you care about the Japanese," Kallen said, voice cracking. "You deserve a slap to the face. Never, ever leave us for a year again!"_

"Slap me, if you must. I don't deserve to show myself to you, but I have a plan to bring down Britannia," Lelouch said. "Can you truthfully say that the Black Knights can accomplish anything without my help? Japan's freedom hinges on my ability to lead you all. Even if I am an arrogant fool for leaving that battle and expecting your respect, you need me as much as I need you."

Kallen's anger disappeared after a few breaths of silence. _"We do need you, Zero, so I am glad you're back."_ Kallen's voice held some bitterness, but there was hope, too. _"We'll come back together if you're here to lead us."_

"Thank you. You've always been my most loyal and trusted follower," Lelouch said, his voice softening. "I look forward to seeing you again. It must have been hard not knowing what happened to me, then dealing with the Black Knights being captured and disbanded. I appreciate your strength."

_"I couldn't really believe you were dead. You're too stubborn and resistant."_ Kallen chuckled. _"The others didn't believe me, but I had hope. Too much, if you ask me. But … I guess I'll see you soon. You better have a real plan."_

Lelouch smiled, sadness dulling his mood. _I miss you too._ He didn't realize it until now, but his time spent with the Black Knights seemed a lifetime away.

"I look forward to reuniting with you in the next few days," Lelouch said. "Actually, I spoke to Ohgi about C.C., and I believe she may visit Ashford Academy during the festival. You know her tendencies. As you are probably aware, there are some Britannians working for the emperor there. It would be inconvenient if she were caught wandering around. If you see her, please keep her away from anyone that could compromise our cause."

_"Ah, she'll be there for the pizza."_ Kallen chuckled softly. _"I'll keep her out of trouble. Since she seems to be important to you."_

"Thank you, Kallen. Then I'll see you as soon as I can," Lelouch said. "Feel free to let the others know I'm returning."

_"Understood. Thank you."_

She ended the call.

Lelouch shut the phone. _There. Done. Zero will survive._ Thanks to Suzaku, his knight, Britannia was about to see the resurrection of their biggest threat.

Lelouch turned and gave Suzaku a deep kiss of gratitude, arms wrapping around his waist. "Suzaku …" he murmured, "we're going to change the world."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mewsy: Sorry for the long wait! We've both been very busy with other projects, but there should be a few more chapters to post before we're caught up! That means more consistent updates for now ... hopefully. Enjoy!

**White Knight AU 12**

Ashford's festivals never failed to be the dumbest celebrations Lelouch had ever seen. The one upside was that this was Milly's last organized disaster, but Rivalz's desperation to show off made this one festival feel like fifty.

On any other day, Lelouch would be dying for it all to end. But as he was setting up the speakers in the control room, he couldn't have asked for a better distraction.

_I have control over the guards stationed here today. Villetta will be keeping an eye on me and Suzaku. I just need Kallen to do her job right._

o-o-o-o

Kallen wobbled side to side, sighing beneath the clunky head of a borrowed mascot suit. She could have attended the festival as a student, but she had to stay anonymous on the hunt for C.C. Zero had given her an official mission anyway, and she had to make sure they'd be able to meet again.

Kallen walked around, gazing at all the over-the-top booths and games. _Is that a pizza-tossing basketball attraction?_ Was this really a school event? Or a C.C. baited trap? _Come on …_

Shirley was working a food stand by the entrance, selling snacks and pizza. She noticed Kallen as she passed, but Shirley kept quiet, her green eyes duller than usual.

_Oh yeah, Rivalz said Shirley got turned down by Lelouch, that self-important jerk. I'm gonna pour milk down his chair the next time he flirts with that Britannian traitor in front of her._ Kallen shuffled by, stamping down the urge to rant. But since Shirley was selling pizza, Kallen had to get closer, scanning the crowd for a familiar green-haired woman.

"One slice, please," a girl wearing a straw hat said. Her back was turned, but her voice was familiar.

"Oh, sure …" Shirley forced a smile and cut a slice for her.

The girl dropped a dollar into a jar. She took the slice and immediately gobbled half the pizza. Her eyes were hidden by shades, her hair tucked underneath her hat. Yet there was no denying that insatiable appetite.

_At least she had the decency to show up in disguise._ Kallen sighed, planning on following her and then hiding her from the festival.

C.C. strode right across the street, approaching the school. Villetta was among the crowd, but C.C. didn't seem to care. She paused, catching sight of a black-haired boy, and started towards him.

Kallen whipped in front of C.C., blocking her path, and pretended to wave at some kid in the distance. _As long as you're not seen …!_

"Excuse me," C.C. said, stepping around Kallen. "I'm trying to walk."

_I have to distract her!_ Kallen shook the mascot's head, stepping back in front of C.C. and pantomiming a camera. Taking pictures was what mascots were for, after all.

"No, thank you," C.C. said between bites of crust, turning the other way.

But before Kallen could follow, a teacher pulled her aside to take a picture. When they were finally done, C.C. was nowhere to be found. _Ugh, Zero, why is this woman so hard to keep track of?_

o-o-o-o

Lelouch had finished setting the controls. He was strolling past the festival booths when he spotted a waddling mascot frantically whipping around. Nothing strange here.

Except …

_Wait, isn't that Kallen's costume? She looks panicked. Did she lose C.C.?_ Lelouch instinctively glanced towards the school doors. _Villetta's nearby. This isn't good._

"Rivalz!" Lelouch called, waving him over. "I need to take care of something; can you cover for me?"

Lelouch didn't wait for an answer, immediately pushing through the crowd. He had to find some privacy and call Suzaku before C.C. got any smart ideas.

"Lamperouge!" Villetta snapped from the entrance. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I — I need to go …" Lelouch shyly looked aside. "Rivalz said he'd cover for me until I get back. I won't be long."

Villetta scrunched her nose, clicking her heel as she turned back to the festival. "Hurry."

"Yes, ma'am."

Lelouch hurried inside towards the men's room. If luck was kind, it would be vacant and — Lelouch paused at the end of a long line. _Great. Where's Suzaku when you need him?_

o-o-o-o

Suzaku was in no state to reply anyway. He'd gotten caught up with Gino and Anya, of all people, and was roped into giving a tour. Gino rattled on about how excited he was to soon be back having secret high school relationships and learn about Suzaku's mysterious boyfriend. Anya trotted calmly to Suzaku's right, religiously snapping photos with her phone.

Nevermind that Suzaku's every attempt to shake them off was fruitless. _I hate this._ Gino had clamped his arms around Suzaku like a sloth, laughing and joking and flirting to anyone who approached. At this rate, Suzaku couldn't afford to cross paths with Lelouch, Kallen, or C.C.

If any of them were in trouble, Suzaku couldn't even step in for them. He couldn't fight off the other Knights and Villetta and the other guards they hired. At least not without putting innocents in danger.

_So I can play my part in silence, and Lelouch won't blame me when Zero's plans crumble …_ It would be so easy. Avenge Euphemia, who was killed by Zero, regardless of how much Lelouch regretted it. Avenge everyone who suffered because of Zero. All Suzaku had to do was play his part and wait until Villetta or someone catches Kallen, finds C.C., takes them back to Pendragon.

Lelouch might lose his memories again, but maybe Suzaku would get demoted after he outlived his use. And then Suzaku would be free to make Lelouch hate him, and all the pain would end.

"Kururugi!"

Or Suzaku could keep Villetta and the Knights busy.

"General Nu's looking extra flattering in that dress, don't you think?" Gino purred.

"Gross," Anya muttered.

"What is it?" Suzaku asked. "Did you want to see us?"

"All three of you, please." Villetta motioned them aside. "I need to tell you something while our princely misfit is occupied."

Gino slid off of Suzaku and whistled. "Right away."

"Please stop …" Anya groaned.

o-o-o-o

_There she is!_ Kallen panted as sweat rolled down her temples, cursing whoever designed mascot costumes to be so hot. She'd circled the school grounds what had to be five times (stopping for too many pictures), always missing C.C. by a hair.

Apparently the pizza attractions were super-effective, but Kallen wasn't going to lose C.C. this time! The witch was devouring her nth slice of pizza, legs crossed casually at a bench.

_Perfect._ Kallen didn't bother to use stealth. All that pizza had to bloat C.C. by now. Kallen sprinted, massive mascot feet slamming into the concrete, and lunged.

"What are you doing?" C.C. said, yanking away. She already finished her slice, but if Kallen had grabbed her any sooner, she would have dropped it.

Kallen flailed and successfully grabbed C.C.'s wrist. "Gotcha!"

C.C. stiffened. "Who are you?"

Instead of answering, Kallen pulled them into the nearby storage garage, using the code to open the back. Kallen dragged C.C. behind the large rows of boxes and more boxes. Only then did Kallen pull off her mask and wipe her sweat.

"Why are you here?" Kallen hissed.

C.C. huffed softly, a small grin on her lips. "You know why I'm here. I came for pizza," she said. "Am I breaking a law by enjoying the festivities?"

"You got your pizza. Now go back into hiding," Kallen said. "It's too dangerous here. Zero told me so."

" _Zero_ told you?" C.C. echoed. "How odd. I thought Zero was dead."

"No, both Ohgi and I know he's alive. And you do too, by the looks of it."

C.C. merely shrugged. "He's dead until I see his face. If he wants to come and get me, then that's his choice. But otherwise, I don't really care what happens."

Kallen glared at her. "Even if you don't care, I do. Zero's coming back soon to set things right with the Black Knights. I won't let you ruin this."

C.C. took off her sunglasses, amber eyes squinting in challenge. "How are you going to stop me?"

"Whatever means necessary," Kallen said. Before C.C. could move, she threw the mascot's head over C.C.'s head and held her wrists behind her back. "I don't care what you mean to Zero. I was given a mission. And you cannot be caught today."

"What I _mean_ to him?" C.C. echoed, voice muffled by the costume. "You're not jealous, are you?"

Kallen rolled her eyes, heart panging bitterly. "Please. I'm a woman of taste. Zero's not my type."

"I don't believe you."

"Whatever. I don't need your opinion." Kallen's face had turned red, but she wasn't going to let C.C get to her.

Before C.C. could retort, Kallen's phone rang. The ringtone was the one she'd set for the student council.

Kallen didn't want to answer. She had to take care of C.C so she wouldn't escape and get caught. Holding tight to C.C., Kallen pressed the red button on her phone. _Not now!_

Whoever it was called again. Lelouch's name popped up on the screen.

"Looks like someone's going to find you before they find me." C.C. chuckled.

Kallen groaned and tightened her hold, awkwardly answering the phone. "Hey. Umm … Lelouch, this is a really bad time. I'm not feeling very good … Talk later, okay?"

_"No,"_ he said plainly. _"Where are you right now? You're being asked for at the front."_

"By who …?" Kallen asked, still watching C.C.

_"Me."_ She could hear his smile. _"If you're actually at the festival, that is. We need some backup."_

"Lelouch, I really can't help you. I tried to come, but I'm feeling sick. I ate too much …" Kallen glanced at C.C. "Pizza. I can't help you. Sorry."

C.C. was surprisingly silent.

_"That's unfortunate. Try not to get your lunch on anyone's shoes on the way home."_ Lelouch hung up.

_Inconsiderate jerk._ Kallen frowned, confused about why he called her in the first place, but shrugged it off. She tucked the phone away. "You're still not leaving. I can't risk it," Kallen said.

"Kidnapping is a crime," C.C. deadpanned. "Anyways, this is a storage room. Someone will have to come back after everything's over, and what will you do then?"

Footsteps sounded outside the door leading into the school. They slowed at the entrance.

Kallen shushed C.C. and considered checking to see who it was …

And then Kallen's phone went off again. The ring echoed loudly in the quiet room. C.C. actually stiffened. The person outside slowed, but they walked past before Kallen even got the chance to silence her phone.

_I need to find another way to get C.C. out without being noticed._ Kallen silenced her phone anyway, annoyed. Opening the back door again was a surefire way to get caught. But she could only try the main doors if …

Kallen grimaced. "Alright, new plan."

o-o-o-o

C.C., meanwhile, was shoved behind some boxes and tied up with duct-tape, the mascot head blinding her. _That insufferable —_

Conversation started up outside. Kallen wasn't doing that great at not getting caught, huh.

C.C. strained to hear what was going on, contemplating if it'd be worth it to escape on her own. But that felt like Suzaku at the door. And Suzaku meant Lelouch was near.

_"I — I was just going home … through the back."_

_"Actually, you should let me take you to the nurse's office real quick,"_ Suzaku said. _"Lelouch said you were sick. So, I'm here to help."_

C.C. smirked to herself.

_"O-okay … Thanks."_

Their footsteps disappeared, and another set took their place. Someone opened the door and shut it quietly behind them. They approached C.C., yanking off the costume's head, but Lelouch didn't bother to untie her.

"Enjoying the festivities?" Lelouch said.

C.C. glared up at him. "I was until you had your pet kidnap me."

"Desperate times." Lelouch leaned against a shelf, the amusement leaving his eyes — although it was hard to tell with his contacts on. "I've only been able to prevent the OSI from watching me during the day. I'm being observed constantly in the case you show up. Stay away, please."

C.C. sighed and tugged against her binds. "We have a contract, you know. I can't just stay away from you."

"I'll need more time before I can get complete freedom," Lelouch said. "Villetta can't be affected by my Geass, and I'm not ready to attempt an insurrection with Suzaku in the picture. At the very least, don't you dare contact me at night."

"What, because you'll be too busy with Suzaku?" C.C. rolled her eyes. "But fine. I don't want to hear that anyway."

"Perfect, so —"

"I have news though. About the Geass Order and Charles and Nunnally."

Lelouch froze.

"The Geass Order has been more active under V.V.," C.C. continued. "Charles has some plan called Ragnarok. I'm not sure what exactly that means, but it's not good."

"What about Nunnally?" Lelouch asked. "Where is she?"

"Nunnally is alive in Pendragon, being treated like a princess," C.C responded. "You can worry about rescuing her later. I don't think the royals will harm her."

Lelouch hissed out a breath. "Alright … Good," he said. "As for the Order, where are they stationed? Do you know what their goals are?"

"I don't know much, only that they could send an assassin named Rolo after you. And that the base is in the Chinese Federation," C.C replied.

"The Chinese Federation, huh …" Lelouch paused, the wheels of his plan turning, and helped C.C. out of her bindings. He hesitated before releasing her, a hand around her wrist. "I'm going to assume my position as Zero soon, so please go back to hiding. I promise I haven't forgotten my debt to you."

C.C. gave him a look. _Alright._ She would go back into hiding. For now. But if he took too long, she'd be back. C.C. crossed her arms, ignoring the sting where the duct tape had been. "Fine, I'll hide. But I want more pizza before I leave."

"Have all you like. If you got in, you can get out. Just don't let Villetta or her guards catch you. I have a list of people on the team, so if you see anyone that looks like this —" Lelouch pulled up a file on his phone showing the members of the OSI, "— then turn the other way and get yourself out of there. I'm not going to save you if you get caught."

C.C shrugged, but she understood. She walked past Lelouch, heading out the unlocked back doors. _We'll see what happens._

o-o-o

_That went better than I thought._ Lelouch dug around a box for some extra party poppers, kicked aside Kallen's costume and the duct tape, and went to find Milly. He texted Suzaku.

_**[Lelouch]:**_ _Is Kallen okay?_

Suzaku had tried to take Kallen to the nurse, but she said she felt better, so instead he ended up taking her to help out in the student council room. His phone beeped, and he checked it.

_**[Suzaku]:**_ _Yeah, she's feeling better. Hanging out in Student Council room._

_**[Lelouch]:**_ _I'll meet you there. I gave some supplies to Milly. The festival is going really well._

Suzaku smiled as he read the message, knowing that everything with C.C. had worked out fine.

_**[Suzaku]:**_ _Alright, can't wait to see you!_


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mewsy: Apologies for the long wait! Life has been busier than expected. I promise we haven't forgotten this story, even if we haven't been able to work on it much lately. But we hope that you'll enjoy this chapter!

**White Knight AU 13**

Another day, another successful mission to Geass the members of the OSI. With C.C. safely out of the way, Kallen having completed her mission, and Villetta and the Knights of the Round at bay, the festival had gone perfectly. During the festival, Lelouch had managed to Geass five OSI members and one more afterwards.

Six people didn't cover the full nighttime shift and the scouts, but it was the majority of the daylight guard, which meant Lelouch would be able to get away whenever Villetta wasn't around. And Lelouch's secret-agent admirer agreed to message him when she was. Lelouch would know Villetta's whereabouts as closely as she had known his.

Tonight would be Lelouch's last night before he made a move as Zero. He had no excuses for waiting. And no intention to.

None except … his symbol. Lelouch had given it plenty of thought, and even if the goals changed, he didn't want to get rid of the costume or the mask. Zero's followers were too valuable, and anything but his old costume would look like a fraud.

If Zero wanted to return as a changed man, there would have to be something else to validate his beliefs.

Lelouch sighed, pushing open the door to the clubhouse, and noticed Sayoko bowing to him in the hallway.

"Will you and Master Suzaku be using the kitchen today?"

"I don't think so," Suzaku answered from the living room. _Lelouch seems tired._ "We could use a break."

_A break?_ Lelouch's brows furrowed. _Maybe he has news for me. Or …?_ With flustering difficulty, Lelouch remembered how he'd teased Suzaku about the lube the other day.

Suzaku couldn't help but notice Lelouch's blush, even though Suzaku hadn't meant it that way at all. _I hope that didn't lead him on too much._

Sayoko calmly dropped into another bow. "I'll make dinner, then. Please take care of yourselves."

"O-of course," Lelouch said. "Thank you, Sayoko."

Suzaku waited for Lelouch to take off his shoes and then they left for Lelouch's bedroom.

"Are you feeling alright?" Suzaku asked once they were there, concern flashing on his face. "You seem troubled. Are things moving too slowly? Do we need to fix our plans?"

_Always the knight._ Lelouch considered him, the last fleeting strands of sunlight outlining Suzaku's form against the window. Strong, kind, resilient.

Lelouch sat on the beanbag chair, hands clutched in thought. "I thought you wanted me to take a break," Lelouch said, smirking. "If you'd rather overwhelm me, there are better ways to do it."

"Ah, I mean," Suzaku started. "If you're upset I'd rather you talk to me. Or I can comfort you …" He paused, gazing at him. "In any way you'd like."

_Comfort is for the helpless._ Lelouch leaned forward, his shoes lightly bumping against Suzaku's. He took Suzaku's hand, guiding their palms together. Lelouch's slender, soft fingers rested on Suzaku's stronger, callused ones. _But sometimes it's okay to be helpless._

_Oh._ Suzaku squeezed Lelouch's hand gently. "I'm here," Suzaku said, leaning closer. The touch warmed him, even though it was small.

"No, no, you're doing it all wrong," Lelouch complained, although affection bloomed out from where they touched. He spread Suzaku's fingers again, glancing up at his emerald eyes. "Do you ever just consider how different we are? Yet we compliment each other. We're opposites in nature and status, but we're exceptional as a pair. Do you ever think about that?"

"I guess." Suzaku knew that they were quite opposite, but working together was still new. Though he supposed it was working well. "That's a good thing! We can accomplish our goal better together." Suzaku smiled. _To reach a more peaceful conclusion to all this …_

"Exactly." Lelouch was tempted to kiss him, to let Suzaku push him onto the bed and wash away the worst of his worries. But that would mean giving up his metaphor, and he wouldn't have that. Lelouch turned his hand around in Suzaku's palm, his boyfriend's thumb appearing as a sixth, unnatural finger to Lelouch's own. " _This_ is what Zero is now. Me, only with your values and support hidden behind a curtain. Though it's not quite like having two left thumbs, convincing people that this new Zero is the same person — the same symbol — will require more than a simple apology."

Suzaku considered Lelouch, comparing their hands with his words. _He's right. It's like a part of me is in this new Zero. Because of that, he'll struggle to convince people to listen to him._ Suzaku remembered Lelouch in his costume back at Kamine Island. The dark black and rich, deep purples of Zero's cape. "We'll find a way to show them," Suzaku answered, looking into his boyfriend's eyes. "We can do anything. It should be no problem."

"Yes," Lelouch said. "With the OSI under control, we can operate almost as if they don't exist at all. Anything we need to do, we can get done."

_If Zero wears a black costume …_ Suzaku's eyes lit up. He pecked Lelouch on the cheek. "Perfect. Then let's make me a white costume. One that matches Zero's but with white and green accents!" Suzaku knew that came out of nowhere, so he explained, "If you want Zero to seem like the same person only with different ideas, we don't have to change you. We'll just add me. I'm already working with you. And the colors will symbolize a peaceful approach to help the people."

"What about the green accents?" Lelouch mused.

"Healthy aesthetic."

Lelouch laughed. He'd considered returning to the Black Knights with Suzaku — but that brought in its own complications. Lelouch looped his arms around Suzaku's waist, inviting him to join him on the beanbag. "I was hoping you might suggest becoming my complementary symbol, but the others won't take well to another masked figure claiming authority over them," Lelouch pointed out. "There's also the issue of keeping your identity hidden. There's a huge risk it'll be compromised if something goes wrong."

Suzaku returned the hug, cuddling on Lelouch's lap. "There is a risk, but I'm sure we can convince them to trust us. You especially, Lelouch, I know you can change their minds."

"I love you." Lelouch said it like a casual thanks, but the adoration gripping him was unmistakable. _Suzaku's leaning his weight off of me._ Lelouch rested his head on Suzaku's chest, relaxing under Suzaku's careful embrace.

Suzaku returned his affections full-heartedly. "I love you too." He lifted a hand and gently ran his fingers through Lelouch's hair. "I promise to be your White Knight."

Lelouch wasn't a prince or a terrorist when he was in Suzaku's arms. Just a young man in love with his best friend. Lelouch shut his eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers tracing his neck. "I promise to be forever yours," he responded.

Suzaku liked that promise, leaning into Lelouch. "I will be forever yours as well." He really loved him and being with him. Their shared warmth was something Suzaku craved, and he wished they could share more moments like these.

Lelouch peeked up at him, mischief melding with joy. "To me, you're my equal … but it seems like you take pleasure in serving me."

Suzaku grinned. "I suppose it's because I like helping people. I loved Euphemia, and I served as her knight. Despite everything, I would like to do the same for you," he admitted, though he was sure none of that was a surprise. "So I guess it's in my heart to want to serve my lovers faithfully." Suzaku pressed another loving kiss to Lelouch's cheek.

Lelouch felt a tinge of jealousy at his half-sister's name. He caught Suzaku's lips before he pulled away. No matter how much Lelouch had respected and adored Euphemia, no matter how good she'd seemed for Suzaku … Lelouch wasn't able to smother the sensation of wrongness at the thought of Suzaku by her side. At first, Lelouch played that jealousy off as his desire for Suzaku to be Nunnally's knight, or as irritation that it was getting in the way of his plans. _But now …_

"Not just that," Lelouch said, voice low after the kiss, "but you offered yourself up to help others ever since we were kids. You were like Nunnally and my knight back in our hometown — always at your best, always full of energy, ready to protect."

"I was, but because you two are my friends," Suzaku said. "I wanted to protect my best friends."

"Is that why you let Britannia have Nunnally?" Lelouch responded, a cold tinge ruining the warmth. He tightened his hold around Suzaku. "Why you turned me in? To _protect_ me?"

"That's not very nice." Suzaku tried shifting away, but Lelouch was still hugging him. And Suzaku really didn't want to ruin the mood because of old arguments, especially now. "You know I didn't have proof you were Zero until we fought at Kamine Island. I didn't trust you, and you had been lying to me for so long."

"That's true." Lelouch ran his fingertips along Suzaku's back. "But for someone who considered Nunnally his friend, you were quick to leave her behind. Who's to say it can't happen again?"

" _Lelouch._ " Suzaku grimaced, partly because Lelouch's dancing touches were sending chills up his spine. "My main concern was stopping Zero, the man who killed so many innocents including Princess Euphemia. Zero killed his _own sister._ Back then, I had no reason to trust you with Nunnally. Plus, she was safe as long as I had control over Zero in the emperor's eyes. Can we just stop talking about this? I'm your White Knight now. Please don't make me regret it."

"I didn't mean to kill Euphemia."

Suzaku froze, despite that Lelouch was so warm that Suzaku was melting. Falling apart slowly, his anger, his righteous fury, his guilt. _You didn't?_

"Zero didn't mean to kill her either, but it was convenient to use her death to serve his ends," Lelouch continued. "Zero wanted to build a brighter future with her, without violence. It was suddenly possible. But that future was stolen away by a stupid mistake."

"That's how you found out your Geass was out of control …" Suzaku whispered.

Lelouch smiled thinly, dropping his gaze to the curve of Suzaku's collarbone as he traced it. "It was a rhetorical example, a tasteless attempt to vent to her. I didn't —"

"It wasn't your fault, Lelouch."

"You're right." Lelouch looked into Suzaku's eyes, pausing. "It's the fault of Geass and Britannia. Euphemia and I were but victims of it. Something would have happened to us, one way or another, unless we could secure change."

"I should have gone with you back then." Suzaku gritted his teeth, unable to match Lelouch's piercing gaze. "I could have snuck in. I could have stopped it before anything could happen. Even if you still accidentally used Geass on her, we could have prevented —"

"We couldn't have." Lelouch balled his fists over Suzaku's back, relaxed them. "My power was already out of control by then. It was too strong, so strong that even though the order was completely against her nature, she could barely fight it. The slightest distraction would have snapped her. She could have hurt you too."

"I was her _knight_. I would have taken that chance."

"The only reason I agreed to work under her terms was because the person she was. Once Geass became a factor … it was over."

"There _has_ to be a way to reverse it," Suzaku snapped. "The Geass control was already slipping when she — when I last saw her … I saw the look in her eyes. I knew something was wrong even before anyone told me."

Guilt stabbed through Lelouch's chest, dragging him down. He gripped Suzaku tighter. "I don't know what that way is," Lelouch said. "C.C. is the only one who I've met who's immune to Geass, and she never told me how it was possible. And back then, Zero was the only hope for things to work out. Euphemia already acted. There was a broadcast. We couldn't wait for what-ifs."

Suzaku hissed, rubbing at his eyes before he could cry. He knew it was in the past. He was doing his best to move on.

But sometimes it was hard not to think _he_ was the one who destroyed the world.

"We must move forward." Lelouch gazed up at Suzaku through dark lashes, the tension between them cooling, bit by bit. "I owe it to Euphemia to make sure the peaceful world she fought for comes to fruition. I'm going to set things right so Nunnally and everyone else can live happily once more. No matter the cost, that is the burden I accept upon myself. And what will you do?"

"I — I already said it."

"Say it again."

"I will be your White Knight." Suzaku bowed, their foreheads momentarily brushing together. "I swear … I will do everything in my power to create a better world. I will serve you above anyone else; your word will be law to me, so long as you also work for peace."

"I accept these terms," Lelouch said, cupping Suzaku's cheek. "And Zero shall work as your equal, paving a path towards the best future. We will accomplish everything we set out to do together, so long as we have each other."

Lelouch tilted forward, and Suzaku melted into him at the kiss, relief and a newfound thrill rushing between them. It was almost as if Lelouch was confirming that Suzaku was his and not Euphemia's anymore. _I'm yours. I promise._

They broke for air, loving smiles reflected on both their faces. And suddenly, in that moment, it felt possible.

Suzaku nodded. _We can do this._ He kept close to him, going in for another kiss, his hand on Lelouch's cheek. Their lips moved softly, passionately, marking this moment as one to remember. _I could kiss you forever._

Lelouch could too, if only he didn't have to breathe. Suzaku was heavier than him, had more stamina to hold his breath, not to mention Lelouch was practically pinned down and feeling himself grow harder each second Suzaku took charge. And with Suzaku on his lap and dinner on its way … well, Lelouch would be lucky to make it out without embarrassing himself. _Make it out, make out — same difference._ Lelouch was already panting, lips blessed and buzzing with warm static. His body both arched into Suzaku and squished into the chair, Lelouch's insides burning in angelic sing-song.

Lelouch prayed the witches of fate wouldn't curse him with dinner just yet — and also that the bulge in his pants would calm down before Suzaku decided to make it permanent. _Unlikely._

Suzaku wanted to kiss him more, but both of them were getting hotter, and well, he could feel Lelouch responding under him. Just knowing the effect Suzaku had on him was sexy in itself, but he knew where their limits were. Getting checked in on was not how the White Knight wanted to perform his debut.

So Suzaku pulled back, smirking at Lelouch. "Later, my dear," Suzaku teased. "But I'm happy that I can excite you so quickly."

Lelouch hurriedly scooted out from underneath him, blushing furiously and wiping his mouth on his sleeve. " _Dammit_ , Suzaku …" he groaned, on the floor now. It took all of his willpower not to go back and make Suzaku finish. "Dammit."

Suzaku blushed, watching Lelouch. "Sorry, I mean I would have … But it's about to be —"

"Master Lelouch, Master Suzaku! Dinner's ready for you," Sayoko called from the other room.

_There is no way she won't notice._ Lelouch stood, bracing himself on the wall. Well. His arousal wasn't _that_ bad, but … okay, maybe it was a little bad. He took a breath, casting Suzaku a sly glance — though Lelouch couldn't tell if Suzaku had the same problem. _At least I can walk straight._

"One moment!" Suzaku called, glancing back at Lelouch as they got up. "Will you be alright?" Suzaku asked quietly, feeling slightly guilty about turning him on so much before dinner.

_Stop being so cute._ Lelouch waved him off, convinced the longer they stayed, the harder it would be. Figuratively and literally. "We talked things through, so I'm happy," Lelouch replied. "The real question is will _you_ be alright when I get more time alone with you."

"Hmm, good question." Suzaku grinned, walking towards the door. "Personally, I think I'll be in heaven, as that's where you take me." He winked despite the burning of his cheeks and the heat in his core. _I love you. I'm glad you're feeling better._

Another onslaught of desire rushed through Lelouch, and he was tempted to snap at Suzaku for making the problem worse. But the hell Suzaku put Lelouch through was equally as enjoyable as their heaven together.

Sayoko wasn't at the dinner table, so Lelouch had a chance to shift around a little before she checked on them. Distantly, Lelouch wondered if she was trying to give them privacy. _I hope not._

Suzaku followed him, sitting down as well and noticing Lelouch crossing his legs. "Oh. I need to work on my cookie skills."

"Cookie skills?" Lelouch smirked. Suzaku would never stop being cute, would he?

"I bought ingredients, so I was thinking of baking some tonight. What kind of cookies do you want?"

"Anything is fine if we use a good recipe. Chocolate chip is a classic. Peanut butter might be good too," Lelouch suggested.

"Alright," Suzaku said. "If we have time, I'll make both." _That's if Lelouch doesn't drag me into bed first._

Sayoko joined them silently, and the boys finished dinner in peace. Afterwards, Suzaku stood to offer to take the plates and cast Lelouch a questioning glance. _Cookies and then sex?_ If Suzaku was going to bake cookies, he could do the dishes instead of Sayoko, but if his boyfriend needed him first, that's where his loyalty laid.

_Ah._ Lelouch helped Suzaku pick up the plates, letting Sayoko take her leave.

"Are the cookies for tomorrow?" Lelouch asked once they were in the kitchen alone. "I don't think they'll be ready to eat until late."

"Oh, you're right," Suzaku said. "We'll save them for tomorrow then."

"Why not bring some for the student council? It'd be nice before final exams," Lelouch said. "We can keep some for us and Sayoko."

"Sure." Suzaku started making the dough, taking out the ingredients. "It'll go fast if you help me."

"Of course I'll help you," Lelouch said, washing the dishes in the sink while Suzaku prepared things. Lelouch stacked the rinsed plates neatly in the dishwasher. "Want me to pull up a recipe?"

"That'd be great!" With the ingredients and tools out and ready, Suzaku couldn't resist stepping closer and kissing Lelouch's cheek.

Lelouch let Suzaku take the sink while he checked his phone. As Lelouch searched for a recipe, a message came in. The OSI guards had switched shifts and their helpful friend sent a text that said: _Vil's out of the house tonight and won't be back until after finals, enjoy yourself and stay safe!_

"Found a recipe," Lelouch said, moving to Suzaku's side and discreetly showing him the text. "Should be simple enough."

Suzaku read the text but didn't say anything. Both of them knew better than that. They could talk before bed. Recently, Suzaku had been sleeping in Lelouch's room, more so for comfort and cuddles than anything else. Lelouch was warm, and if they couldn't be super close at school, they could be at home. Suzaku hummed at the cookie suggestion, starting to follow the recipe.

Lelouch closed the text and left his phone on the counter to reference while he preheated the oven. "So why did you want to make cookies?" he asked, mixing the wet ingredients while Suzaku prepared the dry ones.

"I just want to make you cookies." Suzaku grinned because he really did want to make Lelouch something for fun. "Besides, I love you, and you deserve something good to eat!"

Lelouch rolled his eyes, though his smile stayed as he measured the butter. "Alright, I'm about to use the hand-mixer," he warned, taking it out. "You better have everything ready by the time I'm done."

Suzaku chuckled as he finished mixing the dry ingredients together. "Of course. All done!" He handed him the bowl.

The mixer buzzed when he added the dry ingredients into the butter, a metallic, sweet aroma in the air. Lelouch wasn't sure what did it, if it was the eggs or just the quality of the mixer, but he enjoyed it nevertheless. They managed not to spill anything, though Lelouch occasionally clipped the mixer on the bowl every now and then. He turned it off.

"Ready for chips," Lelouch said. "If you want to be lazy, we can put the peanut butter in with half of this. It should turn out similar."

Suzaku opened the bag of chocolate chips and poured them into the bowl. "Mmm, we'll just make regular. People at school could be allergic to peanuts."

"Yeah, good point." Lelouch retrieved a baking tray and two ice cream scoopers, meanwhile checking the oven's progress. He handed Suzaku one of the spoons. "Put them about an inch apart if you can."

"Of course." Suzaku helped him place the cookies on the tray. He enjoyed being with his boyfriend, working together. _Together, we can do anything!_

_He's so excited about cookies._ Lelouch stole a chocolate chip to nibble on, leaning over to kiss Suzaku's cheek once he did. Lelouch wasn't sure which had been sweeter. _The chocolate chips are semi-sweet. So Suzaku's sweeter._

They finished scooping the dough onto another tray as soon as the oven beeped. "I'll put them in," Lelouch offered.

_He's so cute._ Suzaku blushed, loving the attention he got and almost craving more. "Thank you," Suzaku said, "for helping me. And being with me."

"You can thank me later, when I get back at you for making me wait," Lelouch said. He put on oven mittens, stepped back to avoid the rush of heat, and slid the trays in one by one. He shut the door and set the timer, then another timer on his phone. "Forty-five minutes. Do you think that'll be enough?" Lelouch's lips quirked with the tease.

_Oh …_ Suzaku's face turned bright red, just as hot as the oven. _Right._ He gazed back at Lelouch, embarrassed, but desire clear in his eyes. "Yes, that's a good bake time."

Lelouch took a step forward, slipping off his mittens. "Then let's get cooking."


End file.
